Divorce: Helping Your Kids Cope

Getting divorced is a huge decision, especially if you have children. While you may feel that the separation is the best move for your family, it's important to understand that kids cope with divorce in a variety of ways. Many kids begin to rebel, while others seem to handle their new life with little difficulty. No matter what your personal reasons for getting divorced might be, open communication with your children can help them handle the divorce. Before you sit down to talk with your kids, there are a few things that you need to know.

First off, remember that each child is different. Your children might cry when you tell them. They might feel scared or confused. Other kids could feel relieved. Your children, especially if they're teenagers, might feel angry. Remember that no emotion is "bad" or "wrong." Avoid becoming frustrated when your child reacts to the news. Remember that while you're making the best choices that you can, your children's reactions could surprise you. Try to be patient as your little ones learn to cope with this new information.

It's also important that you remind your children how much you love them. A child might ask if you're going to stop loving them because you get a divorce. Others might feel like the divorce is their fault. While you certainly don't need to get into the intimate details of your marriage's dissolution, you do need to explain to your children that you and your ex-partner will never stop loving them and that the divorce has nothing to do with them.

Finally, get your child's input when you're making decisions, especially on choices that will affect them directly. While you might not let your children choose which parent they live with, some things need to be their decision. This will give your children control during a time in which they might feel unstable and lost. Consider letting your children have a say in things like what school they'll go to, what their new bedroom will look like, or even how often they get to see their other parent. This will give your youngsters some power and will let them know that their opinion is valuable to you.