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HAPPY THANKSGIVING

I want to wish everyone on CS a Happy Thanksgiving Day, whether you celebrate it or not! Enjoy a day of thanksgiving for yourself!thumbs up
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Ups and Downs

The ups and downs of the Stock Market frightened a lot of small investors. One guy went to his financial adviser at the bank and asked if he were worried.
His adviser replied, "Well, let me put it this way, I sleep like a baby."
The man was amazed and exclaimed, "Really? Even with all the market fluctuations?"
Answered the adviser, "Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours."


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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GOD'S PLAN FOR AGING

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch.

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.

God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

There are nine (9) Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older:
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed him/her for a day.. Teach a person to use the Internet and he/she won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird . . Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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A Little Chuckle

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink in search of a solution.
"Just put yourself in my hands for a few months", said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears." "How much do you charge?" I asked.
"Eighty dollars per visit", replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
"Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?", he asked.
"Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week is almost a $1000 a month and my bartender cured me for $10.00."
"Is that so?" the doctor said, with a bit of an attitude. "And just how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now."


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Nww york City Love

You are a complete a**! You should bow OUT!!!!!scold
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Senior and the puzzle

A little, silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a very difficult jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The little lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her neighbor decides to go over and help her with the puzzle. When he arrives, the old lady shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says:

“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.” Then he takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then...” and he says this with a deep sigh...

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the Kellogg's box.”

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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9/11

16 yrs ago today, the cowardly terrorists of osama bin laden came to the USA and killed almost 3000 Americans! I will never forgive nor forget this terrorist act! very mad

I hope no one who reads this lost a love one or friend in this heinous act!

What were you doing on this day when you heard the news?
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Farmer John

Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week.

So Farmer John called the local police station to complain, "You've got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing my chickens," he said to the local police officer.

"What do you want me to do?" asked the policeman.

"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"

So the next day the policeman had the Roads Dept. erect a sign that said: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the policeman and said, "You've still got to do something about these drivers. The ‘school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster!"

So they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and said, "Your signs are no good. Can I put up my own sign?"

In order to get Farmer John off his back, the policeman said, "Sure. Put up your own sign."

The phone calls to the Police Station stopped, but curiosity got the better of the officer, so he called Farmer John, “How’s the problem with the speeding drivers. did you put up your sign?"

"Oh, I sure did, and not one chicken has been killed."

The policeman was really curious and thought he'd better go out and take a look at the sign.

He also thought the sign might be something the Roads Dept. could use elsewhere, to slow down drivers.

So he drove out past Farmer John's place.

His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.

'NUDIST COLONY'
'Slow down and watch for chicks!'


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Card Game

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing cards with his dog. He watched the game in amazement for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart—he has to tell,” the friend replied. “Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.”

: rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Dinner For 4

A Jewish couple in London won twenty-million pounds in the lottery. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.
They decided to hire a butler and they found the perfect butler through an exclusive agency,
He was very proper and very British, and they brought him back to their home The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set the dining table for four, as they were inviting the Cohens to dinner. The couple then left the house for the afternoon?to do some shopping.
When they returned, they found the table set for six. Perplexed, they asked the?butler why it was set for six when they had expressly asked him to set it for?four.
The butler replied, "The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes.

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Happy Birthday BritishColumbian

Let's all wish one of the nicest ladies on the CS blogs a very very Happy Birthday! BC, have an awesome birthday and a fantastic day!!!hug hug
happy birthday cake party balloons danceline dancing dance

God bless you!thumbs up
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Happy Birthday Amornthep

I spoke today with a past member, Amornthep, who use to be on CS. She had lots of friends on here! Very nice lady. Yesterday was her birthday! Let's all wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!cake party danceline buddies happy birthday

We miss you!
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