breadcrumb Catfoot Blog

Horoscopes Reloaded 2

Any resemblance between real people and these horoscopes are absolutely intentional. As promised, today we can have a look at bulls and twins. And as with the previous, I relied on cutting and pasting to some extend.grin

Taurus Birth date: 20 April - 20 May
Taurus is a cow… apologies, a bull. Cows give milk; bulls give you nothing but grunts and snorts. They take whatever they want, whenever they want it - your food, your favorite chair, your time, your energy, your money, your stuff - it's all theirs. They just graze through life, eating everything in their paths.

Taureans are known for their sense of humor and their ability to laugh at the weirdest things. They have an uncanny ability to pick winning lottery numbers. Research tells us that Taureans are at least as likely as other people to win the jackpot. Their lucky numbers are anything between 1 and 100.

They are excellent embezzlers and are often employed as bank mangers. Other popular occupations for them include teachers, waste-disposal-experts, doctors, builders, plumbers, computer programmers, funeral directors, and impersonators.

All Elves are all born under this sign due to the Elf mating season being only a few days long towards the end of July. This means that the average height of the Taurus male is around 4ft 3in, whilst the female average is approximately 3ft 9in. With their warped sense of humor that works as a defense against their height deficiency, Taureans are said to be excellent lovers but for some unknown reason, lousy dancers.

They bear grudges about things that never happened. This may stem from the feelings of inadequacy resulting from being beaten by Aries for the first place in the zodiac line up.

Taurus is ruled by Venus - goddess of stuff and money.

If you are impatient and pushy; forever in hurry to intending to get to the nowhere, you were born under this sign.


Gemini Birth date: 21 May - 21 June
Gemini is a pair of twins and can't stick to one decision for a minute; totally nuts. Don't date with a Gemini unless you want to go insane. The one will love you while the other will cheat you and you will never know who is who.

Most people born under the sign of Gemini are schizophrenic. Not all Gemini are affected, some are charming, social and intelligent beings who won’t poke their fingers in your eyes.

They are progressive, outgoing, and one of the most popular rides at a party but all that can change in the time it takes to sneeze. They are highly competitive, cannot resist it to take risks, and are likely to accept the any bet without thinking.

Geminis are always on some sort of medication though not always legal. They talk a lot but mercifully mostly to themselves and will often pick animated arguments with themselves in the bath or shower.

Dates are important to Gemini and they will only rarely forget birthdays, anniversaries or any other occasions on which they can purposefully avoid sending greeting cards or presents.

They drive funny color cars with lots of contradictory bumper stickers and will often drive them into trees or buildings. Gemini often is ambidextrous and can be recognized in public by the ability to pick both nostrils at the same time. In a nutshell, Gemini is a paranoid Aquarius.

Gemini is ruled by Mercury – the god of mind-tripping.

If you are pushy, overbearing, liking to pick fights with small children and forever harassing the wedded couple at weddings, you were born under this sign.


Ok, so there you are. If you were born under one of these signs, I’m sure that you would have recognized yourself.tongue
cats meow cats meow

A good day to ya all and avoid talking to bulls and twins after they read this.wave
Post Comment

I’ll Never Fall In Love Again.

How many times have you resolved not to fall in love again? And yet, once the wounds have healed, we just fall in love again; time and time again. And when we fall in love, we forget all our good resolutions and break all our own rules.doh

The strange part of it is that we usually a fall in love with strangers. Let’s face it, we don’t look into the eyes of somebody we have known for years and then suddenly go weak in the knees. It is a stranger that does that to you. If you don’t want to fall in love, avoid meeting or seeing strangers. But then there is probably a built in cut out switch somewhere to allow you to fall in love with a known person in the absence of strangers.love

A man and a woman who have known each other for years will not fall in love with each other, even though they may be a perfect match. However, it may happen that they can come to their senses and decide to throw their lot together. Given some time, they will grow to love each other and spend a lifetime in happiness but that was not falling in love. It is a cultivated love brought about by a logic decision and probably has the best chance of success.heart beating

I think falling in love is a primitive breeding instinct to ensure the survival of the human species. And it is built into our genes to fall in love with strangers to diversify our genetic material. Inbreeding had never been good for any genetic pool.professor
cats meow cats meow

Have a great day and I hope you meet many strangers. One of them may just be the one you've been waiting for.wave
Post Comment

Disgusting, To Say The Least!

I’m not a Christian and therefore not bound by their conventions. I don’t have to turn the other cheek. I criticize the Church from time to time and point my finger at Christians when I think is due but have never attacked their God, nor the God of any other religion.

What I saw yesterday surpassed all levels of decency; I thought we lived in a time of religious tolerance.

People who think that blasphemy is good fun, are sick.
barf barf


Added after 156 comments

This is not about religion; it is about respect towards others and I'm deeply disappointed with the few people who approved of such behavior. Why does respect fly out the window when we get to religion.confused

A Horse, A Horse, My Kingdom For A Horse!

Man’s association with horses is well illustrated in our mythology. Almost every culture in the world have some horses in their folklore. The Unicorn, Pegasus, Sleipner, Chollima, Tulpar and Khantaka are just a few examples of famous horses.professor

But before you think that I’m talking horse feathers, let me give it to you straight from the horse’s mouth. I have always been a bit of a dark horse – if not the horse’s a** – but you may as well get off your high horse because there is no use in flogging a dead horse.

It is rude to look a gift horse in the mouth and if you had any horse sense you will know that you can only lead a horse to the water but you cannot make him drink. So you may as well stop horsing around or the horselaugh will be on you. Now hold your horses and don’t put the cart in front of the horses. I wish you would stop this horseplay but if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

I never realized that there were so many idioms and expressions about horses. A quick search of the Internet revealed at least 150 of them.wow

Wild horses couldn't drag him away from the racecourse but it was a one-horse race and he backed the wrong horse. The Trojan horse was a better bet because here they run horses for courses and this time it was a horse of a different color.


My cousin is a horse of many colors and as strong as a horse but that is hardly surprising because he eats like a horse. Mind you, if only this was not such a one-horse town, I could have eaten a horse.

But more amazing is that there are many other idioms and expressions that don’t contain the word horse like ‘a run for your money’, ‘a head start’, ‘from scratch’ and ‘neck and neck’, all have their origins from the horseracing track – or is that the race course?.shock

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse but it is no use to shut the stable after the horse has bolted and one should remember that if two ride on the same horse, one must ride behind.

For the want of a nail, a shoe was lost.
For the want of a shoe, a horse was lost.
For the want of a horse, a kingdom was lost.


Well, I better be on my horse or I’ll be here all day.
cats meow cats meow

You all have a good time but don’t play horsy, horsy all day.wave
Post Comment

Too Much For Coincidence?

This story has been recounted many times but it is so unusual that it is worth looking at it again. It relates to the unusual high number of coincidences that occurred when US Presidents Lincoln and Kennedy were assassinated.professor

Abraham Lincoln was elected in 1860, one hundred years before JFK who was elected in 1960. Lincoln was succeeded by Andrew Johnson and JFK was succeeded by Lyndon Johnson, both Southerners. What makes it even more remarkable is that the two Johnsons were born in 1808 and 1908; one hundred years apart. To add spice to it, the assassins were also born one hundred years apart. Booth was born in 1839 and Oswald in 1939. And both died before going to trial.wow

They were both shot. Lincoln stopped his bullet in a theater and Booth was trapped in a warehouse. The Kennedy bullet came from a warehouse and Oswald was cornered in a theater. Lincoln was shot in Ford’s theater and Kennedy met his end in a Ford Lincoln.shock

To top it off, Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy while Evelyn Lincoln was the secretary of JFK.hmmm

Is it too much for coincidence? Mathematicians say no. They claim that if you look hard enough, you will find such coincidences between any two events.doh

Well, now you also know why mathematicians are not that popular at parties; they can kill any mystery and generally make poor conversation.laugh
cats meow cats meow

Have a whale of a day and don't do anything that I won't do.wave
Post Comment

Flirting

Flirting is an important component of social behavior and although it can easily be misinterpreted, it need not be so if you select your ‘victims’ carefully and if you follow the six primary rules about flirting.professor

I love flirting and openly admit it in my profile. Everybody knows me as a flirt and I have rarely picked up problems because of it.dancing

Rule 1
Do not flirt with complete strangers.
Flirting with complete strangers is inviting trouble. While I don’t flirt with strangers, I will certainly pay a strange woman a compliment if it is deserved, whereas in flirting, I grossly exaggerate with the compliments. I will flirt with the wives or girlfriends of my friends and relatives whenever the opportunity presents itself. I even flirt with my grandson’s girlfriend.

Rule 2
Do not touch the person that you are flirting with.
You flirt with the mouth and the eyes. You don’t need arms and hands to flirt. When you touch the person, it becomes personal and it can easily be misinterpreted. Don’t hug, don’t hold hands, and don’t kiss, not even her hand. If the person you’re flirting with start touching you, move away, and if it continues, stop flirting with him/her.

Rule 3
Do not flirt with somebody if you don’t know his/her partner well.
If your friend has a new lover, it is ok to flirt, even if you were just introduced. The quicker they get used to you, the better. The bottom line is, don’t flirt if the partner does not like you.

Rule 4
If your attentions are not welcome, stop it.
Not everybody enjoys flirting and look out for them. Don’t antagonize people. If the person or his/her lover does not enjoy your attentions, stop it right there and then or you may spoil what would have been a great party.

Rule 5
Only flirt on parties or other gathering where there are many people around.
Don’t flirt with your friend’s partner if you are only two or three couples together. If you are in a public place( like a steakhouse) and there are women in the company, don’t flirt with the staff; even if you don’t have a partner with you.

Rule 6
Keep it above board.
Flirt only if there are other people in the company. Do not flirt if you happen to meet alone on the verandah or while you’re dancing. Do not single somebody out to flirt with. If you want to flirt, flirt with every body.

So there you are. Six simple rules and if you follow them, you will never get problems about flirting. Flirting is a pleasure and a great icebreaker at parties and gatherings. People will see you as a big sport and it will often see you invited again and again.dance

But flirting has a serious down part if you have a real interest in a somebody. He or she will not take your attentions seriously but if you scale your flirting a bit down towards that person and talk some sense to him or her, your message will get through. If you want to know which girl I fancy at a party, just find the girl I flirt with the least.flirty
cats meow cats meow

I wish you all a great weekend and don’t flirt too much.wave
Post Comment

Horoscopes Reloaded 1

Sometimes a person can run out of ideas to blog about. When you are a compulsive blogger as I am and just have to blog, you can come up with the most boring themes.grin

Today is such a day and I thought it well to give you my take on people born under the Zodiac sign of Aries. It is not all my own work as I relied on copying and pasting to some extend. There were so many sites involved and I not going to give credit to anybody as the same content were often duplicated in other sites making it impossible to recognize the original poster. In fact, the internet is riddled with this topic and it must be hollow by now.doh

Aries

Birth date: 21 March - 19 April
Aries is a sheep… sorry, I mean a ram. Sheepishness is not in his nature (see Pisces in chapter 12). His nature is butting heads. Sheep say Baahhh. Rams say Baaahhkkk OFF - and you better. Every Aries is pushy and knows everything, and they always cut against convention; so just get out of the way, ok?

People born under this sign believe that God is an Aries, demand undue respect and will force people to address them as "Master" if given the opportunity. They will often sign off their emails with "Your Leader”, “Your Overlord”, or “Your Chief”, etc. They are the most likely to go off on wild campaigns like “Save The Black Rhino” and to hell with the white Rhino. They like to meddle in the affairs of other people and will think nothing about re-organizing the potted plants in a neighbor’s garden during the night.

They will rarely say one thing and do another - they usually do things without discussing it. Never point this out unless if you want your eyes pulled out through your nose. They love Pisceans because they make them feel well grounded.

They will use guns to describe philosophical concepts. Whether they live in a palace or a cardboard shack, they will insist until death that it is exactly what they always wanted.

They made all their life decisions as a toddler. Many will marry several times (just for the hell of it) but never divorce. Their spouses have many freak accidents resulting in death or crippling injury.

Aries is ruled by Mars, god of "I Win, you Lose".

If you have murderous intent then either you or the voices in your head were born under this star sign.tongue

Well, this is my take on Aries. During the next few weeks, I will bring you the other star signs whenever I have nothing better to blog about. idea
cats meow cats meow

A marvelous day to all of you. Hang tight, the weekend is closing in.wave
Post Comment

Eureka!! I Found The Reason!

A recent inventory of the parts of our blog press revealed that most of the parts were either missing or unserviceable and I must make an urgent appeal to all the guilty parties to return those parts so we can get the blog press running on all cylinders again.help

According to my informationdetective
Zman took the plunge and has not returned it yet.
Angel grabbed the opportunity and made off with it.
Jim hit the road and it has a bend in it.
Mimi stole the show and is baking cupcakes with it.
Ken broke the record and it is now useless.
Wallops beat the odds and it cracked.
Johnny lost the way and we can find it nowhere.
Snooky took the chance and squandered it.
Vivian broke the ice and it melted.
Usha split the difference and mislaid one of the pieces
Kalpataru took the brunt and has been missing since.
Ccincy lost the bet and it is still missing
Flutterby broke the curse and it is ruined for ever.
Lukie lost the track when it fell of his bike.
Hans broke the silence and it needs to be repaired.
Teenameena closed the deal and we cannot get it open again.
Calleis took the gamble and lost it.
Minerva spilled the beans and it is all over the floor.
KNenach seized the initiative and ran away with it.
Phoenix lost the momentum and it cannot be located anywhere.
Loulou broke the date and some of the pieces are missing.
Ummka took the hint and mislaid it somewhere.
Lindsy dropped the subject and it is no longer working.
Nidifugous dropped the case and it is broken.
Some unidentified body kicked the bucket and left a dent in it.
Management is still missing the point and needs it badly.

If anybody took or damaged any parts of the blog press that is not mentioned in the list, please own up and return it as soon as possible. With all these missing parts, it is no wonder that the blog production is down. So come on guys & dolls, our blog press cannot work without the parts. Let’s get these things back so we can get up to full production again.banana

No, don’t look at me. I took nothing. With only the blame left to pilfer, I’d be very foolish to take it. However, I did blow the whistle but it is still working. Ok!tongue
cats meow cats meow

A grand day to ya all.wave
Post Comment

Are You Jealous?

Yes, I am jealous, though just a little and outsiders will never know it. A little jealousy is good for a relationship and it should be shown sometimes. Just to let your partner know that you still care. Methinks that the one who claims not to be jealous, is either lying or simply does not care.professor

However, jealousy is often confused with a monster called possessiveness. This emotion drives people to violence. When you see it - unless if you like it when your life is controlled by somebody else - run for the hills! This is the guy or doll that is going to tell you who you may not be friends with, what you may not do, who you may not talk to, where you may not go to, what you may not wear, and even when you may not laugh. In fact, this person will try to take over your entire life and smother your personality.frustrated

Quite unlike a bit of healthy jealousy that is good for a relationship, possessiveness will kill it and trap you in a cocoon of fear or frustration. This person is obsessed with you, and may easily threaten murder or suicide if you should leave. And some will be capable of it. They are sick people.blues

There is another related emotion called ‘envy’. This is when you are ‘jealous’ of the achievements and possessions of other people and it drives people to inferiority, dishonesty and/or nastiness. I’m not going to dwell on that today. We see enough of it every day.sigh

So when do I get jealous? I don’t mind a bit of light flirting, I‘m a shameless flirt myself but I always try to give my girlfriend or date more attention than all the others together. I expect more or less the same from her. I think that is only reasonable.blushing

I don’t get jealous when a guy gives a lot of attention to my girlfriend or date. I rather like the idea if she is popular. It only underlines my good taste in women. However, if he is obviously irritating her, forcing him up to her, or if she ask me to, I will tell him off very politely the first time and if he does not respond accordingly, I’ll do it again but more to the point second time around.very mad

If I feel that my girlfriend is paying too much attention to somebody, I’ll let it sleep for a few days before I tell her so. If she was just a date, I won’t tell her anything and if it continues after a second or third date, I simply won’t date her again.thumbs down

So, in my opinion, it perfectly normal to be jealous and there is nothing wrong with it. It is the other two members of the family that we must guard against.hug
cats meow cats meow

I wish you a wonderful day.wave
Post Comment

A Pair Of What?

Certain items are normally found in sets of two and are therefore rightly referred to as a pair. Some examples of such items are shoes, slippers, socks, boots, stockings, shoelaces, gloves, cuff links, earrings, eyes, lungs, kidneys, skis, skates, speakers, chopsticks, knitting needles, etc.professor

Then there are items like handcuffs and headphones that are referred to as a pair although they may appear to be one item. However, upon closer examination, one can see it as two items joined together and we can reconcile ourselves quite easily with it as a pair.thumbs up

But there is another category of items can causes more confusion as these items all appear to be single items and yet it is referred to as a pair. Examples of these are pants, trousers, trunks, shorts, jeans, glasses, sunglasses, binoculars, goggles, scissors, pliers, clippers, tweezers, tongs, and shears. The list can be split op in three sub-categories;

a garment to cover you from the waist down,
eyewear and optical instruments,
a tool with two jaws that can open and close.

Although they appear to be unrelated, they all have one thing in common. They started off as a pair of two separate items.idea

The trousers it had its humble beginnings as two legs worn to keep the legs warm. Later it gained flaps that overlapped at the top where it was tied around the waist. In time it became one single garment but the pair stayed.wow

Glasses also started off as a single lens called a monocle. Eventually two lenses were mounted in a single frame and once again the pair could not be dislodged from the item. After all, it is a pair of lenses in a single frame. Ditto for a pair of binoculars that can be seen as two telescopes made into one instrument.hmmm

But the last category, (pliers, tongs, scissors, etc) is the most interesting. Before the invention of the rivet they were in fact two separate pieces that had to be hooked into each other to be used. It was a true pair.thumbs up

My grandfather had two giant pairs of these pliers – about a meter in length - that he used in his furnace. It worked the other way around. You had to open the legs to close the jaws and I believe this kind of technology is still in use today because the expansion of the rivet or stud, when used inside a furnace, makes it hard to open and close the pliers.devil

But the question I cannot answer is why a single item without legs is called a pair of panties while a bra is not a pair when it is clearly two cups joined in the middle.doh
cats meow cats meow

Have a wonderful day.wave
Post Comment

Did they Ever Exist?

We are often exposed to profiles of people who do not exist. This is nothing new. Fictitious characters can be created at will and many historical figures that we hold in the highest regard today, may never have existed. With the truth buried in the debris of the past, we may never know.dunno

Historians are yet to give a real-life identity to an outlaw known to us as Robin Hood. Over a period of 140 years, conflicting stories portray him as either a nobleman or a commoner. Legend has it that he robbed the rich to give to the poor but methinks he robbed the rich because the poor had nothing worth stealing.laugh

Records show that a William Shakespeare was born in Stratford-upon-Avon and that he became an actor. Without university training, there are doubts that he wrote the famous plays. It is more likely that he was a fictitious character to represent a group of playwrights. Even some quotes attributed to him, cannot be verified. One of the most famous, “Expectation is the root of all heartache”, is also in doubt. There is no evidence that he ever used those words.writing

Lao Tzu, who is seen as the father of Taoism and a peer of Confucius, is said to have lived during the sixth century BC, but modern historians believe he was a fictitious character used by a group of philosophers.

Lycurgus is credited with introducing a code of laws that turned Sparta into a military power. The Spartans did not record their history in writing and historians are not convinced that he ever walked on this planet.

William Tell became a Swiss folk hero when he shot an apple on his son’s head with his crossbow. There are no such names on record and the story was probably imported from Scandinavia and adapted to local conditions.giggle

The Greek writer we know as Homer is believed to have lived between the 8th – 12th century BC. Uncertainty has led to the believe that he too was a fictitious character created to represent a syndicate of authors responsible for The Iliad & The Odyssey.

King Arthur is said to have led the defense of Britain against the Saxon invaders during the 6th century AD but he is first mentioned some 400 years later. It is also said that he single-handedly killed 960 men. A bit thick for a dollar!frog

Sun Tzu, author of ‘Art of War’, who is said to have turned a bunch of courtesans into an elite fighting force by beheading two of them, is believed to have lived in feudal China between 771 and 476 BC. Modern historians doubt it if he ever existed. I would also have developed into a fierce warrior with a sword hanging over my head.help

John Henry became famous as the slave who beat a steam-powered drill in a race to complete a tunnel. There was a John Henry but there is no evidence that such a race ever took place.blah blah

Pythagoras probably never existed and if he did, he stole the work he took credit for. The Egyptians were aware of the theorem that bears his name one thousand years before his time.

So, what is fact and what is fiction? I don’t know but I do know that fictitious characters are born every day and some of them live long enough to scam a lot of people.doh
cats meow cats meow

A great day to all af you.wave
Post Comment

Another Letter To Cyrano De Bergerac

It has been so long since I last wrote and you will really think that I only bring bad news to your door. But where else can I go? Here in my own country nobody takes me serious when I speak. It is true what they say about prophets not being honored in their own land.help

A lot of things have changed in Blogland. The trolls and their henchman have left; some by decree and other by own accord. A handful opted to stay on and it appears that they have been civilized now. It is sad that so many honored members of our society have also left for greener pastures. Their contributions to blogtax are certainly missed.sigh

The warring clans of the past have all but buried the axe. By mutual disagreement, they disagreed to agree and as such ignore each other. A disagreement that seems to work rather well in preserving the peace.cheering

We had a long period of peace and tranquility with only a few border infringements during the time. I’m happy to report that the insurgents were rounded up and deported every time before they could do much damage. Such cowards they are! They don’t attack us in the cities where we are strong but rather the remote farm areas where our law enforcement agency cannot police every day.applause

But all is not well. The Blog economy is in recession and not enough Blogtax comes in to make ends meet. The same blogs have to stay in circulation much longer now than a year ago. It is so bad that some have to pay double and even triple Blogtax to relieve the pressure on the blogs. With the decline in production, our Bitcoin currency has weakened to an all-time low and inflation is running havoc on our national budget.frustrated

The people are hungry and they’re getting restless. We have sporadic outbreaks of holy wars, which dampen the economy even further. The saddest part is that these power struggles are not between different religions but between factions within Christianity. Since the unexplained disappearance of Pope Simmo I, there appears to be no clear contender for the position and everybody seems to be competing for the post. The people fear that another holy crusade may be called soon.uh oh

To complicate matters, factions within other groups have joined forces in drawing up a petition to request the Emperor to reinstate the lion-feeding program that was initiated by one of his predecessors. The savings on strategic state resources and the increased revenue generated by entertainment tax may well tempt the Emperor to give in to their demands, which brings me to the real reason behind this letter.blues

With your proximity so close to the capital of the Holy Roman Empire, could you possible ask Emperor Connectus Simplex to summon the bishops and cardinals back to Nicea because the first council he held there in 325 AD (and as those that followed), created more problems than what it solved. There still is no unity or consensus amongst the Christians.sigh

My friend, I must urge you to hurry. The time is short and the workers are few.super
cats meow cats meow

A wonderful day to all of you and may the Force be with you.wave
Post Comment

This is a list of Catfoot's Blogs. Click here for Catfoot's Blog List

We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here