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Hy Het Sy Gat Gesien - He Came Short

The Afrikaans word ‘gat’ has more than one meaning. The first refers to a hole in the ground or in any other object while the second meaning is more crude. It refers to a person’s or animal’s backside; more specifically his a**hole.

The expression ‘Hy het sy gat gesien’ can thus be translated to English in more than one way:
A) He saw his hole
B) He saw his grave (as a grave is a hole in the ground)
C) He saw his a**.

The third form is the popular form for at least the last 50 years since somebody added ‘without a mirror’, and mostly used in the future tense. Effectively saying you will see your backside without at mirror; meaning that you will come short or that you will not get it right.

But this is completely out of line with the original saying which refers to a hole in the ground; more specifically an open grave.

Towards the end of the Anglo-Boer War (1899-1902) many Boers surrendered and were called ‘hensoppers’ meaning ‘hands uppers’ or traitors. The ‘hensoppers’ were often executed by the passing Boer commandos.

Such a traitor was condemned to death by court-martial. They were forced to dig their own graves and then, while facing the grave, shot from behind to drop into the hole.

If somebody would later ask: “What happened to so and so?” the answer would have been “Hy het sy gat gesien”, meaning that he saw his grave (while being shot as a traitor).

So, in the about 30 to 60 years since the war, this expression had evolved into something with a completely different meaning. Languages are truly alive and this is especially true In the case of a young language like Afrikaans which was only recognized as a language about a hundred years ago or so.

But then it is also a very versatile expression with other meanings like for an instance:
Die bottel het sy gat gesien. Meaning
The bottle - Die Bottel - is empty.
or
Die suiker het sy gat gesien.
The sugar - Die Suiker - is finished.

It is estimated that about 25 million people worldwide now can fully understand and speak Afrikaans.

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Mar 2014
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A Dog’s Life

Hi, I am Jack Russell but I respond to the name of Voertsek which means ‘scram’. I know I got the name to chase the other dogs away when my master calls me. He is sleeping now and that silly cat is walking around in the neighborhood. While the cat is away the dog can play. I know how much my master loves blogging so I decided to help him a bit. He does run out of ideas at times.

I have been in captivity for about four years now; ever since I was so cruelly snatched from my mother when I was just a puppy. I did run away a few times but so far I always came back. A dog gets hungry very quickly.

My master has ‘papers’ for me and he knows my ‘family tree’. It does make me feel important but otherwise it is of no help to me. I normally use any tree.

I am not the only animal here. There are two other dogs, a cat, a bird and a fish but I don’t think the cat is a prisoner for he can come and go as he likes. Except for the cat, who is just Cat – like my master, we all have human names. The cat also responds to the name of ‘Meneer’ which is funny because my master calls all male strangers ‘Meneer’.

I don’t know if the fish is an animal. His human name is Betta Splendens. They say he is a male but it sounds like a woman’s name to me. He is kept in a tank of water and he just swims around showing off. I heard he is a Siamese fighting fish but to me he does not look like much of a fighter. Not like me who kill the rats in the yard at night. I’m very good at it but I am going to stop it because the cat gets all the credit for it. Life is unfair.

I’m not sure about the status of the bird whose human name is African Grey. My master calls him Skollie, which means ‘scoundrel’, and he sits in a cage suspended from the ceiling. I think he is only in protective custody because the cat does not like him. He can speak human language and is often in conversation with my master. I wonder what they talk about when I’m not around. We dogs are not allowed in the house without our master calling us. I hope that stupid bird does not tell my master that I am here now for he is watching me all the time.

The other two dogs here are my best friends. Fluffy is very old and has no ‘papers’ but she has ‘arthritis’. My master once said that she is a ‘pavement special’, whatever that is. She is small like me; almost blind and battles to get up in the mornings. Somebody told my master the other day that he must have her ‘put out’ but my master was not happy with the idea. He said Fluffy has been with him for almost fifteen years.

The other dog – Bruno is his name – is big and strong. He also has ‘papers’ and is a bit of a bully but he does keep the place safe. We are fed separate from him because he eats our food as well. His human name is Bull Terrier and quite a few people said he looks like a pig. It is my job to wake Bruno up when there is trouble.

I like my master but I would like to get more of the food that he eats. Instead he feeds us, the cat included, on pellets that he says is good for us. What does he know about what is good for us? The cat gets leftover food much more often than us. The bird, who is fed on funny looking black seeds, gets a large thighbone every time my master has chicken on the table.

Sometimes, when I was naughty, my master hits me with a piece of rolled-up newspaper. Then I make a lot of noise and run away to make him believe that I am scared of him. He can be so silly sometimes.

I don’t like it when my master gets visitors because sometimes, when there are small children, we are locked up in the tool shed. I don’t know why because I like playing with children and I cannot help if they fall over when I jump against them. They can be such sissies.

Continued in the comments section.

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Mar 2014
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Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Why do some jobs carry more prestige than other similar jobs? In my book, a truck driver, a bus driver, a train driver, a ship’s captain and an aircraft pilot all have the same job.

By definition they are all entrusted with a transportation device - loaded with passenger and/or goods - to be delivered safely to a given place, at a certain time. Yet a ship’s captain or an aircraft pilot will choke in his own saliva if someone was to tell him that he is just glorified a truck driver.

Granted, an aircraft may cost a bit more than two diesel/electric locomotives, 12 passenger coaches, a dining room car, a lounge car, guard’s van and maybe a mail wagon but what is important here; the hardware or the safety of the passengers?

The same goes for other related jobs. Why does a flight steward enjoy more status – and gets a better pay – than a steward on a train’s dining car? They have the same job. In fact, our trains serve better food than most airlines; prepared in a kitchen about as small as that on an aircraft where the food is precooked and only reheated before serving.

And the list goes on and on. Doctors are seen as better that veterinary surgeons and university professors have more status than mere teachers. Yet they have the same professions. They only work with slightly different things.

Now Catfoot wonders; is a dedicated housewife not just an upmarket hooker? And is a devoted husband not just another very sophisticated pimp? We are what society tells us we are but is that what we really are?

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Mar 2014
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Improving Ourselves

When I see somebody doing something well, I admire his skill. I’m not a good musician and when I see somebody who can play a music instrument well, I admire the skill. I’m not a good dancer but I enjoy watching a couple who can dance.

When I was young I learned to play the guitar. I was never any good at it and I soon realized that it was not for me. I have no rhythm in me. Just like I cannot dance well, I cannot make music. And I don’t have a singing voice. Maybe it was not important enough to me for I accepted that I will never be good at it.

Fortunately there were other things that I was good at and I concentrated on it; honing those skills. And through the years I have acquired more skills by watching those that I admired very closely. I even asked them to help me in the things they were good at. In that way and by practicing that skill, I became better at it; sometimes even equal or better than those who I had followed.

All of course within the framework of my capabilities and limitations. You cannot expect to become a heavyweight boxer if you weigh 70 kg.

In this way I had improved myself to a point where I’m happy with myself and, although I’m getting older, still willing to learn new things.

But it was not always like that. There was a time, after my divorce, when I was bitter. It was the first divorce in my family and I got a lot of flak about it. I was unhappy and I felt a failure. I did not like myself, yet I believed I was better than everybody else around.

I no longer admired the good in others. I envied them. I did not like to hear about their successes. It made me feel inferior and I did my best to discredit such. I wanted to pull them down to my level. Until one day when my father sat down with me and told me the truth about myself. At first I was furious and walked away.

But eventually it all sank in and I came to my senses. I was not getting any better by pulling others down. In fact, I only alienated myself from a lot of good people. Instead I surrounded myself with others like me. Birds of feather flock together.

You cannot keep a good man down. You may dislodge him but he will quickly regain his footing to kick you in the teeth and you will go tumbling down, right back to where you started while he will still be up there; where he belongs.

To improve yourself you have to look, listen, learn and work hard. Talking is not going to make you any better.

I wish you all a great week ahead.

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Mar 2014
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A One Night Stand.

Here you wake up with a strange woman next to you in bed and then you remember the cute girl you picked up in a pub last night. Wonderful! Not only did you get laid but you won’t have to deal with her PMS next week because you will probably never see her again.

You are happy, your little friend downstairs is happy, so what else matters?

Maybe she does. For all you know she is awake but pretending to sleep. Although she probably also had a good time, she may feel a bit shy, guilty or even upset with her self about her folly last night. Why make her feel worse by being a díck?

Get up and wait for her in the lounge. Respect her privacy and don’t go snooping through her things and don’t help yourself to her fridge. Sit down and wait. When she emerges, stand up and talk to her politely. Treat her with respect so she can concentrate on the positive aspects of last night.

Now don’t be a jerk to just run away. Look at her body language. If she wants you to go, then go without delay but if she wants you to linger then stay a while; you may even get a second helping.

If this happened at your place, offer her breakfast before seeing that she gets home safely.

Don’t ask her number if you don’t plan to call her and don’t insist on it if she does not want to give it.

Be a gentleman. A little respect goes a long way.

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Mar 2014
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Our Changing World.

Things change around us all the time. We cannot always keep up. It is as they say: The only constant in life is change.

When I was young:
Coke was a soft drink.
Memory was something you lost with age.
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used crude words.
A keyboard was a piano.
A web was a spider's home.
A mouse was a rodent.
A virus was the flu.
A bug was an insect.
A CD was a cash deposit.
A hard drive was a long trip on the road.
And if you had a 3-inch floppy...
You just hoped nobody ever found out!

But other things changed as well.
Since I was a baby my mom taught me to speak and when I could, she told me to shut up.

When I was ten my mom told me to grow up but when I did, she told me I’m to big for my boots.

When we were newly married my ex-wife ignored it when I dropped a wind but 5 years later she said I will still fart her out the house.

In the beginning, when I came from work, she brought my slippers and our new puppy yapped at me; in the end my dog brought the slippers and she yapped at me. I suppose this was not a real change. I still got the same service.

In the beginning she loved me like a devil but in the end she was giving me straigh hell.

When I was young she told me I look like a Greek god but the other day when I bumped into her, she told me: My God, you look like a Greek.

Now tell me everything is still the same.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

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Mar 2014
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Look Before You Leap.

It is a very old saying but then the old people knew what they were talking about. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Some people are walking time bombs; accidents just looking for a place to happen. And we feel sorry for them because of all their bad luck. But should we? Are they not inviting such accidents by being just simply careless?

The other day I read about a small child being burned by boiling water. Those parents should be prosecuted for small children are known to pull on tablecloths. A small child was run over by a car; what was the child doing in the street? Where were the parents?

An accident is when no negligence or recklessness can be proven; when the incident could not be foreseen by reasonable thinking. Like a freak wave capsizing a boat. That is an accident. Getting a blow out when your car’s tyres are smooth is not an accident. It is pure negligence and recklessness.

My CS name is also my nickname in real life. I earned that name by reputation. Granted, I lost a few opportunities by being overcautious but I saved myself a lot of trouble in the long run. I don’t break glasses, I don’t run into the back of other cars, I don’t miss steps in the dark and I don’t fall into toilet pots. I’m careful.

Accidents seldom happen. People are just negligent and/or reckless. And then they ask: Why does this always happen to me? The answer is simple. They are inviting it.

Think about it; are you ridden by accidents or are you careful?

The moral of the blog?
Don't put your foot in it.

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Mar 2014
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Lunch With An Old Friend

Our appointment was for 12 noon and we arrived at the same time – ten minutes early – from opposite ends. He had lost a bit of weight since I last had a glimpse of him about 10 years ago.

We shook hands and our eyes met. He still had that naughty boy expression in his eyes. “My jaw is still sore,” he said with a straight face and I said, “My butt is still sore and you still owe me an ice cream.”

He laughed and said: “Well after this you will owe me a lunch, why don’t we call it quits?”

We gave each other a high-five and walked into the steak house like old friends. After a short argument about who sits with his back to the wall, we sat down and ordered a bottle of late harvest. We started off by bragging about our children and grand children. He tells me about his wife; I only have a far-away girlfriend to brag about.

We shared and discussed our plans for the future. We have so much to catch up with. No shortage in topics to discuss while we eat our starters. I’m not particularly fond of snails but I love the home baked bread and the garlic sauce that comes with it.

When the bottle was almost done we ordered our food and another bottle of wine. We laughed at the folly of our youth. Like the time we sent the little boy to knock on a door to tell the lady of the house that she is a b*tch. She will like it very much, we assured the lad. The joke backfired on us as Mrs Jordan saw through it and invited the lad inside and bribed him with cookies and cool drink. We got a good tongue lashing from my father.

The chef treated us like gods by sending us burned offerings and we promptly returned it; we both like it pink inside. We are luckier the second time around.

After lunch we ordered another bottle and reach some agreement. The one paying for the food does not pay for the drinks. It promises more lunch meetings and we agree to meet again in about a month.

The topic shifted to the good old days and we talked about all the old schoolmates no longer with us; my two late brothers included. He never asked about my sister so I did not ask about his. I don’t know if the topic is still holy with him. He can breach that subject when he is ready, but I wonder if he knows that I have sporadic contact with his sister. Maybe best if she, and not I, tells him. I will have to call her.

We topped off a good and long lunch with chocolate brownies for desert, paid the bill and left. We parted with a brief handshake and on my way to the car I looked at my watch; 15:14 – the time flew – and I wondered; is it really 44 years ago?

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Mar 2014
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A Time To Move On

I find it both sad and disturbing when I see all the sadness and bitterness around me; in real life as well as on-line. Forever blaming a previous partner for the current state of affairs. And often pointing a finger at the entire opposite gender.

He is gone; he has done his worse and can harm you no more. Unless if he is stalking you and for that you can get a restraining order. He can no longer make you unhappy and you cannot blame him for your current unhappiness. Right now you are making yourself unhappy by dwelling on what has been. Forgive him and cut him out of your life. Move on and start living again. Your heart won’t mend while you sit and feel sorry for yourself.

I can understand the initial shock and pain of a broken relationship. We have all gone through that but there comes a time to move on.

Remember, you took him out of free choice. Nobody forced you to be with him. You also have some blame in the affair, even if it is just choosing the wrong partner. Think about it; you could have prevented the entire episode if you showed better judgement. The first mistake came from you.

And you can be sure that you also made some mistakes in the chain of events that led to your current demise. If you were that perfect he would never have left you. Or alternatively; if he was that irreplaceable to you, you should never have left him.

Stop pointing you finger at your ex-partner; you have three fingers pointing back at you. If he was so bad then he would not have gotten somebody else while you are still sitting alone.

Love is the same as any other aspect of life. You have only yourself to blame if you allow somebody else to ruin your life.

This does not go about gender. I have used the masculine form throughout only because I am male and it is too cumbersome to he/she or him/her all the time; and it affects the readability of the piece. It goes for both genders. You can just change the pronoun to suit yourself.

And remember, Wednesday is small Saturday.

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Mar 2014
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After All These Years - How It Ended

My hands trembled while punching the number on the note into my phone. It was a short note. Seventeen words and a cellular number. Long enough to make an appointment; short enough to cancel a date.

He answered the phone and we exchanged a few niceties. Neither of us was ever any good at small talk. We got straight to the point. I sat back in my chair and looked out the window.

It started on a sunny Monday late in January 1970; I was about to turn 18.The schools had started about a week or two previously. It did not matter to me; I had just finished school but Tommy - he was my best friend - had another year to go. The phone rang.

It was Tommy’s oldest sister. Newly divorced and back living in her mother’s house. She wanted to know if I could help her to move something in her bedroom. I went there and she showed me to the dressing table that was to be moved but we never got as far. She was all over me and before I knew it she was undressing me and then she helped me to undress her for my hands were shaking too much.

Before I left we arranged to meet again the next morning. It went on the whole week and two days into the next week.

It ended on a Tuesday. We were very busy, partly covered by a sheet and whispering obscenities into each others ears, as she taught me, when I heard Tommy’s voice yelling from the bedroom door. He stood there in disbelieve while his face went through every shade of red and purple. His sister yelled at him to get out and he left.

We got dressed and as I was leaving he came from behind and kicked me on my butt. I lost my temper, swung around and took a pot shot at him. It caught him square on the jaw and he went down for the count. When he recovered he looked at me with venom in his eyes and said: “I hate you. I never want to see you again.”

He forgot his transistor radio in my bedroom the previous Sunday and I waited for him to fetch it so we could patch it up… he never came.

And now, after 44 years, one month and a few days he wants to see me again. We will be meeting for lunch on Thursday. His treat, he said. I last paid for the ice creams.

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Mar 2014
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The 8 O’ Clock News

Why is 8 O’ clock such a popular time for the news. Why not 7 O’clock, 9 O’clock or any other time. Is there not a newscast that can be read at anytime? Something that can stand the test of time.

Something like:
Good evening. Here is the latest news on Channel BS:
In Rome today Pope Gregory XIII announced that the next 11 days will be cancelled due to a lack of interest. He categorically denied doing it to have a calendar named after him.

In London the crowds watched in awe while King Henry VIII had yet another wife executed. When asked about it, the king said he merely did hid civil duty to keep the divorce statistics within acceptable levels.

In Paris Nostradamus predicted more trouble ahead. He was vey cryptic about it and declined to specify any further details.

Still in Paris we bring you Marie Antoinette’s secret diet to retain her trim body. Cake, she said. Eat cake. It is a pity it did not help her to retain her head.

Back in Rome the Catholic Church revealed that another heretic had been burned in public after declaring that the world was round.

In Egypt yesterday a local terrorist named Moses, and his followers were told to leave the country. No other countries were prepared to grant them asylum but they left in any way. They will be accommodated in a refugee camp in Saudi Arabia for a period not exceeding 40 years.

In a massive earthquake in the mid Atlantic region, a whole continent disappeared under the sea. It is said that nobody survived the disaster.

In America Isaac Newton declared that there is no such thing as gravity. The earth sucks, he explained.

Somewhere else in the ancient world Fred Flintstone said in a speech that unless dinosaur hunting is prohibited, all dinosaurs will eventually die out.

Meanwhile in China a local wise man, Confucius, said: Man who walks through door sideways is going to Bangkok.

From our weather desk Noah predicts plenty more rain with a strong possibility of flooding.

And lastly, stand by for our sport desk after the commercial break, when we will cross over to Rome where the latest available score is Lions 17, Christians 0. The Lions lead the series by 24 games. The Christians are yet to win a round.

Any new developments in the news can be phoned into our news office. Channel BS wishes all viewers a happy Monday.

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Mar 2014
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After All The Years

I frowned when I received the letter in my mailbox on Friday. It has been years since I last received a letter via snail mail. Accounts and invitations yes, plenty but this was no invitation to a wedding or a party.

The handwriting looked vaguely familiar but I did not recognize it immediately. I had to open the envelope before remembering it.

We were born 1200 miles apart but by the time of my sixth birthday we were living not too far apart. I am a few months older than him but we were a year apart in school. We had not spoken a single word to each other for the first 11 years of our lives. Then – a story on its own – we became friends.

A few minutes with a person can change your life while a lifetime with another can have no effect on you.

We became inseparable. Not even the year that I was in high school while he was still in primary school degraded our friendship. We were partners in crime. I kept his father busy in the garage while he nicked the beer out the fridge and he kept his mother busy while I ‘organized’ some of her cigarettes.

When I fell with his father’s scooter and he took the blame but then I took the rap when he scratched my father’s new car with his bicycle. We stalked the girls on the main road and we climbed through the window one night to watch the battle of the bands. Together we scaled the fence of the municipal swimming pool for a midnight skinny dip. We were friends.

Not even falling in love with the same girl shook our friendship. Both of us simply withdrew from her.

When lovers split up it hurts and when marriages disintegrate it stinks but when friends part in anger, it is painful; especially for the guilty party. He said that he hated me and never wanted to see me again. I saw him a few times since then but pretended not to see him. If he saw me, he probably did the same.

And now, after 44 years, he wants to see me again…

Have a great Sunday.

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Mar 2014
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This is a list of Catfoot's Blogs. Click here for Catfoot's Blog List

Catfoot Blog (616)

Hy Het Sy Gat Gesien - He Came Short

A Dog’s Life

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Improving Ourselves

A One Night Stand.

Our Changing World.

Look Before You Leap.

Lunch With An Old Friend

A Time To Move On

After All These Years - How It Ended

The 8 O’ Clock News

After All The Years

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