Yes, what will be, will be. I do not only hear the little voices; I also talk to them. And they tell me everything. Oh dear me! These are bad times ahead. And the little voices won’t let me be until I tell you all about it.
2014 will be a year of disasters. Floods, air disasters, political scandals, famine, earthquakes, wars, political unrest, tropical cyclones, terrorist attacks, labour strikes, economic recessions, bankruptcies, more unemployment, scammers and poverty are just some of the things we can expect.
Disasters wherever you look. Catfoot is going nowhere this year!
But then it is not all bad news for:
The rich will get richer – is it good news?
A few famous people will get married – big deal.
Custom officials will uncover a large drug shipment – one of how many?
Peace talks will bring a temporary end to a conflict – for how long?Eishhh! What happened to all the good news?
You don’t believe me? We will talk again at the end of the year. The little voices never lie. And nothing ever changes.
But...
May you have a very prosperous new year and reach all the goals you have set for 2014.
On Monday I will return to work after being on extended sick leave for more than two years; only to work for two months before taking a retirement package.
When a man sits at home for so long you get plenty of time to think of how to spend the rest of your new life and now is the time to get it on paper.
In this year coming I will strife to:
• Consume more alcohol than before.
• Start smoking yet again.
• Stop flirting with the ladies.
• Retain my ‘happily divorced’ status.
• Follow my doctor’s advice to the letter.
• Make no sarcastic comments.
• Learn to respect attorneys and bankers.
• Scam a few ladies on CS.
• Maintain a few secret profiles in case I get banned.Well, this should keep me busy for a while!
Anyway, what the hell does it matter? I have never kept any of my new year’s resolutions, but I seriously resolve to keep them this coming year.
A very prosperous new year to you all.
I think I have been expecting too much from marriage. All I wanted was a relationship with my wife as my mom and dad had. But no two persons are the same. Let alone two couples. The permutations are too large in number.
During the 21 years that I spent in my parents’ home – minus one year of military service – I had not once heard a single harsh word uttered between them. Not in front of me or my siblings in any way.
Oh, they had their differences yes; there were days when you could cut the atmosphere with a knife; days when the house was quiet and they would disappear into the bedroom and we could hear a heated but muted verbal exchange interrupted with a ‘shhhhhht!’ every now and then when voices got louder.
Then of course there was the banging of the doors. That was the first thing that alerted us that things were not kosher; and the lack of any music. Other times there was always music playing.
But comes dinner or bed time – whichever the first – the two were reconciled, cooing like doves
and we could eat as a family or go to bed knowing that all was kosher again.
Is that really asking for too much?
Now Christmas had come and gone. As a rule my family do not give large Christmas presents; we save that for birthdays.
And I sit with a load of:
Aftershave lotion of the wrong brand.
Roll-on deodorant which I don’t use.
Spray-on deodorant of the wrong brand.
Shower gel I don’t use.
Shampoo of the wrong brand .
Hankies which I don’t use.
Underpants giving me undue credit.
Socks of crazy colours I won’t be seen dead in.Then of course there were the handy gifts:
4 Bottles of brandy.
A selection of various wines.
A few beers – which I do not drink.
And some ciders which I do like.And then the most precious of them all:
A girlfriend of my very own. I got her a bit earlier and one would have thought the novelty would have worn off by Xmas but she is still as exciting and adorable as when I got her.
September 11 is a bad date for Americans but according to modern biblical scholars, in the year 3 B.C, a very important child was born on that day.
While Christians know that He was not born on December 25 nobody really bothers when it happened. A few dates, based on pure astrology, had been put forward but Revelation 12:1-5, seems to tell us more about it. Verses 1 & 2 are significant here.
And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars: And she being with child cried, travailing in birth, and pained to be delivered/…
.../ And she brought forth a man child...The constellation Virgo is the only astrological sign associated with a woman. For a short period on Sept. 11, 3 B.C., Virgo could be seen near Leo, representing the
lion of Judah, with the
sun clothing the woman and
12 visible stars surrounding Virgo’s head.
The secret is the words
and the moon under her feet. This signifies that the woman’s feet were positioned just over the moon. For this to happen the moon must be getting close to the horizon. But the moon also has to be in that exact location when the sun is mid-bodied to Virgo.
In the year 3 B.C., these two factors came to precise agreement for less than two hours, as observed from Palestine, on 11 September . The precise arrangement began about 6:15 p.m. (sunset), and lasted until 7:45 p.m. (moonset). This is the only day in that whole year that this could have taken place.”
Footnote: Remember, a canopy bearing the signs of the zodiac was part of the papal throne until only a few hundred years ago.
A woman is a very strange creature and I’m not always sure if she really knows what she wants. For whatever you do, they are never satisfied.
She wants
flowers but if you bring her flowers she asks what you did wrong.
compliments but when you pay them she asks what you’re after.
to be surprised in bed but when you do she asks where you learned it.
you to dress properly but when you do she asks where you are going to.
you to have friends but when you go with them she sulks.
you to be smiling but when you do she asks if you’re seeing somebody.
you to pick a dress but then she asks what is wrong with the other dress.
you to hurry up but when you do she tells you to drive slower
to hear that you love her but when you tell her she asks if you had been drinking.
you to admire her but when you do she says you’re only after her body.
Then if you tell here you're not after her body she wants to know what is wrong with her body.So relax my friend. Do not try to understand her. I don't think she understands herself.
The mushroom farming industry and the selling industry is very much the same thing because mushrooms and would be customers are very much the same thing.
Mushroom growing is a very profitable industry and they are easy to grow if you know how to do it. They are easy to market too; once you have acquired the skill to grow them you will have the knack to sell them as well.
Selling your mushrooms only require a know how of how to treat your customers and you will master that art very quickly when you grow mushrooms. They need to be treated in the same way as you treat the mushrooms.
So what is the big secret to growing mushrooms that can be applied to selling as well?
You feed them on bull shit and keep them in the dark. That's all folks
And keep them mushrooms growing.
In comparing various authors with one another,
I have discovered that some of the gravest and latest
writers have transcribed, word for word, from former works,
without making acknowledgment.Pliny the Elder 23 AD – 79 AD
And it is still so today. So why complain? It is here to stay.
And why is it that if you copy the work of one person you are chided as a thieve but if you copy the work of 10 people you are hailed as a researcher?
Copyright does not protect the ideas or the information itself, only the form or manner in which it is expressed. For example, the copyright to a blog restricts others from making copies of the blog or creating derivative works based on the particular blog, but does not forbid the creation of other blogs about the same topic, so long as they are different enough to not be judged copies.
So, if you express the same information in your own words and sequence it cannot be adjudged as a copyright infringement.
And how do you obtain copyright on your work?
Simply by adding
Copyright © Catfoot 2013.
A new look at an old story; to fit in with our changing world. You only need to merge this into the real story and you have a new one to tell your grandchildren.
Grandma, mommy sent this basket of goodies to you.
Thank you my child. Put it in the kitchen and wait there for me.
But Grandma, why do you have such red ears today?
So I can hear you better my child.
But Grandma, why do you have such wide eyes today?
So I can see you better my child.
But Grandma, why do you have such an ugly face today?
Buzz off, Red Riding Hood and wait in the kitchen; I’m on the toilet!Let’s forget about the nastiness of reality and enjoy the day,
*
I first read this in 1966 and almost wet myself laughing. Now recently I stumbled across it again on the internet and thought I’d share it with you. Good old fashioned humour not riddled with F-words to gain effect.
Hans Gruber,
Wihelmstrasse,
Hamburg,
Germany.
Der last schipment uf rice ve got von you on der schip vas mixt mit der mice schit. Der rice vas gut enuff but der mice turds schpoils der trade. Ve did not see der mice schit in der samples you sent us.
It takes too much time to pick der mice turds from der rice. Ve order kleen rice, und you schip der schit mitt der rice. Ve like you to ship us der rice in vun sack, und der mice schit in anoder sack, und den ve vill mix it to soot der customer.
Please write if ve should schip back der schit und keep der rice, or keep der schidt und schip back der rice, or schip back der whole schitten verks.
Mitt much respects,
Hans Gruber.Friendly Sunday greetings from an overcast Cape Town
Long distance relationships are problematic and demand a lot of sacrifice; to say the least. It brings about many logistic problems. Visiting each other is fun, but once the romances had been sorted out, the real problems start; for such a relationship would require for at least one party to relocate.
If the two parties live in the same country it is not too bad, but if they live in different countries it brings even more hurdles to overcome. Of which fiscal control is not nearly the least. One does not easily leave your life’s savings behind.
This can be further complicated by differences in culture, religion, tradition, careers and so many other things. Bear in mind that, because of the geography, the parties involved cannot know each other too well either.
Racial differences should not make it worse, but certainly do not make it easier either and serves very well to underline most the other issues. While one can change of religion, adapt to new culture, adopt new traditions and carve new careers, you cannot change your race. Not even with an operation. You will die being what you were born as.
And then I did not even talk about the tension, embarrassment and uneasiness that family, friends and strangers alike can bring about with their prejudice.
They say where there is a will there is a way. But is there a way to sort all these difficulties? It is easy to say one must reach a compromise, but compromise requires sacrifice. And one must be satisfied and contented with your sacrifice.
And then I ask myself; can it really work? Can love alone overcome all; or does it need a little help?
Be careful of how you name your children. Your future may depend on it. Of course it may be too late for some of us. As the following story will demonstrate.
Three men and their daughters died together and arrived at the pearly gates. Ol’ Peter was in a foul mood and was turning people away left, right and centre.
The first man approached and was asked what his daughter’s name was
“Penny,” he announced proudly.
Peter told him very impolitely that they held money in too high an esteem and was not allowed in. The man turned away sadly and the second man approached. Peter asked him the same question.
“Cherie,” he said cheerfully, but Peter told him that people who named their children after alcoholic beverages were not welcome either.
That was when the third father looked at his daughter and said:
“Come on Fanny, let’s go. We did not come here to be insulted.”So do not be caught in the same trap. And stay loose. It is Friday. Enjoy it for it is the first day of the rest of your life.
Catfoot Blog (616)