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CatfootCatfoot Blog (616)

16,678 Blog Comments616 Blog616 Blogs185 Forums32 Quiz Scores27 Threads25 Polls9 Games5 Articles5 Poems5 Poetry5 Tags4 Quizzes3 Top10s1 Quizzes

Free Airtime

It is illegal of course, but then so many things are illegal in this world. There is no way they can trace you. hole You can only do this every second Thursday of each month while the network tracking system is down for maintenance.

You can recharge your phone every month freely by following this process; regardless of the service provider. They all use the same basic software.

Dial "1415007" and wait for 5 seconds

You will hear some irregular noise like sound from TV when the aerial is unplugged.

When the noise stops, immediately dial 9151 follow by your own phone number.

A recorded message "please insert your pin number" will follow.

Punch in this pin number "7785*4522*0734" and wait for the operator finish repeating the above pin number.

After the pin number has been repeated, punch in the first 2 letters of your service provider in upper case. It won’t work with lower case.

You will hear a message "for air time top-up press 1723”

After that the noisy sound will re-appear for about exactly 5 seconds

Once the noise stop, dial "*4455147146#"

The final step is to enter your own PUK no followed by #

If the transfer was successful the following text will scroll down on your LCD display .
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WAKE UP MAN!! NOTHING IS FREE IN THIS WORLD. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!!
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Don’t search for me to kill me; I'm busy hunting down the guy who sent me this!
cats meow cats meow
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To Bowl A Maiden Over

This is not about cricket, but you will need to understand one or two cricket terms here. For the benefit of those not into cricket: a maiden over is when you can bowl 6 balls in succession without conceding a single run.professor

When I still played cricket I was a specialist batsman coming in at #3. Nothing spectacular; just a sturdy club player that you would rather have in your own team than with the opponents.

However, I was a ghastly bowler, mainly because I refused to bowl in the nets, but I was often used to break partnerships. I would spray them all over the show. I was treated with utter disrespect and hit all over the park; if they could only get to the ball. But they paid for it in wickets. laugh

Once I got a hat trick (3 wickets off 3 consecutive balls) off the first three balls and still went for 20 runs, including two wides. blushing

And I have never bowled a maiden over.sigh

But now that I no longer play cricket I’m going to bowl a maiden over; and I have decided which maiden it will be too. love

So girl, if you are out there; take strike and keep your stumps covered. I’m coming for you. It’s is not going to help to stand there blocking every ball. I’m going to bowl my maiden over and with the last ball of the over I’m going to send your bails flying.tongue

A maiden wicket is so much sweeter than just bowling a maiden over. bowing

The moral of the story? You don’t have to be a good bowler to bowl a maiden over – you must just pitch your balls at the right place. rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
cats meow cats meow
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Something Terrible Happened

Less than two weeks ago a 75 year old woman plunged 17 storeys to her death in a flowerbed. This happened at the retirement centre where my father now lives. To crown it, a 90 year old man fell to his death from the same floor on Thursday.

Being a fairly regular visitor at the centre at round about morning tea, I have met both these people. What puzzles me most is that these two persons still enjoyed a good quality of life, were financially independent and were well visited by their children.

The man and his wife – they were married 10 years ago in the retirement centre – were sorting mail as part of their usual daily routine when he said that he does not feel well and that he is going to their apartment. His wife told him to go and lie down and said she would join him as soon as she had finished the sorting

When she went up some 20 minutes later she found the chair in front of the open window. I think you can imagine the quality of health if he could still get onto a chair unaided.

Earlier this year another woman was found hanging half way out of a passage window; also on the 17th floor. When she was dragged back she explained that she was trying to see if her son’s car was parked below; they found a suicide note in her apartment.

And now I wonder how many more people will have to die before the management will do something about the situation. Why can’t they can fit burglar bars or some device to prevent the windows from opening wide enough! confused

Surely they could be held liable for failing to create a save environment for the residents. dunno
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The Things I Miss In Summer

I prefer summertime, but there are things about winter that I miss during summertime. Not just the steaming rich stews on rice and the aromatic thick soups & broths with bread.

I miss the things like walking in the rain, sharing an umbrella with the one you love; the cozy hours on the carpet in front of the fire place; the long nights cuddling under a feather duvet. And most of all, waking to the sound of rain on the roof!

So you fellas in the northern hemisphere, enjoy the coming winter; for it offers luxuries that summer cannot afford.
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The Wrong Place At The Wrong Time

Sometimes I can get myself in such awkward situations, by just trying to be kind. This happened earlier this year, in January, on the first day of the new school year; shortly before joining CS. A nine month relationship had just been terminated.

It was about 7:15 am. I was opening my car gates when a car pulled up to the curb. The passenger window started sliding down. A very attractive young lady in her late 20’s leaned over the passenger seat and said: “Excuse me! Can you help me please?”help

“Sure,” I said moving closer; expecting her to be lost and needing directions. As I came closer I noticed a 6-7 year old boy sitting on the passenger seat. As I bend down she stuffed a rolled up school tie into my hand.confused

“This is his first day at school,” she said, “and I’m a single mother. I don’t know how to tie it.”

And there we stood on the pavement, in front of my open gate, on our knees facing the lad. Mommy and I were tightly together, as if renewing vows; learning and teaching how to make a knot in a tie. As fate would have it, everybody who knew me would drive along blowing a horn and pointing a finger while grinning knowingly.

All this happened in plain sight of my neighbours.wowSome of them still unaware that my previous relationship had ended.

And this was complicated even further when the same young lady was seen entering my house a few days later with a gift-wrapped bottle. “Just a token of appreciation,” she said. I accepted the bottle of brandy with grace. Three hours later, when I walked a giggling young lady to her car after we polished off a bottle of mint liqueur, we were observed again; as the devil would have it.devil

I had all hell trying to explain the story. Nobody believed me, but eventually the story died. Or so I thought. Saturday night the story – and all the explaining – resurfaced. They still do not believe me; neither my friends, nor their wives.dunno

As one of the wives summarized it with an elaborate wink: “We admire your discretion, but we find you guilty as charged.”

Something tells me that this discussion is far from over. Maybe I should really toss the cat in amongst the pigeons by asking her to act as my hostess when next we do something at my place.rolling on the floor laughingrolling on the floor laughing
cats meow cats meow
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Three Little Pigs Reloaded

Red Riding Hood, now 16, packed some cookies and a flask of tea in a picnic basket and went to visit her friends, the three pigs, now also a bit older. As parents you may know what weird friends our children can acquire. She found them sitting in a straw hut. Before she could open the basket there was a knock in the door.

“Who’s that?” asked one of the pigs.
“Open the door,” shouted the big bad wolf, “or I’ll blow this hut over”.
“Try!” shouted another pig.

The wolf blew the hut over in two puffs and the four of them ran off. The wolf, now in his middle years, could not keep up and the four found a wooden shack that was erected when the last Rambo movie was filmed. They entered and bolted the door. Soon they were enjoying cookies and tea when they heard another knock on the door.

“Who’s that?” asked one of the pigs.
“Open the door,” shouted the big bad wolf, “or I’ll blow this shack over”.
“Try!” shouted another pig.

The wolf huffed and he puffed and he blew the shack over. The four ran off and once again they got away. Eventually they came to a deserted farmstead belonging to the bank after the farmer went bust; a sturdy brick building with a strong door. They went inside and bolted the door.

“Now,” said Red Riding Hood as she kicked off her boots and shed her red hood, “I’m fed-up with cookies and tea. Now I want a drink!” wine

One of the pigs found a bottle of brandy and a set of dominoes and there they sat drinking brandy and playing dominoes when the wolf knocked again.

“Who the #@*&! is that?” shouted a pig; can you imagine what pigs are like when they’re drunk? laugh
“Open the door,” shouted the big bad wolf, “or I’ll blow this house over”.
“#@*&! off man,” shouted another pig.
“He can #@*&! himself.” said the third pig while he poured another round, drink pouring “He’ll never blow this house over”

Alas, they forgot about that Santa trick and next thing the wolf came sliding down the chimney. And they scattered again. Those pig tails stood like police car aerials the way they ran, but the wolf was after Red Riding Hood who battled in the thorns without her boots.

She sat down to remove the thorns from her feet and the wolf came roaring in her face.

“Push off man,” shouted Red Riding Hood as she smacked the wolf across the face. “You’re only chasing me all the time and I’m not even in this damn story!”grin

I shared this story with you to tell it to your children and grandchildren, as – in view of the modern movies – they may find this more interesting that the original story.

Cheer up! It is Friday.applause applause
cats meow cats meow
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A Letter To An Old Friend.

My dear friend,
Of course you’re welcome to visit me here in Troll Land. No, don’t pay any attention to the foreign press; it is just propaganda. They are just envious of all our natural resources and want it for themselves. tongue

You will be enthralled by our people. Did you know that we have magical powers?angel2 We have the ability to make things disappear. Like now the read it and poof… you read it no more. The scrolls vanish as you read it. I only wish we could make other things disappear as well, but the power is not strong enough. But with enough practice, who knows…

You will also find that we are very skilful people. We are masters of the art in those intricate techniques called ‘copy’ and ‘paste’. Yes, I know that everybody can copy and paste, but you will have to admit that we do it very smartly; better and more frequent than anybody else around. I should not talk about this for we are a secret organization, but I am proud to be the lifelong honorary president of the Trollish Guild Of Copiers & Pasters.

But it is not all milk and honey here in Troll Land. The milk is going sour and the honey has lost its sweetness. So much so that sweethearts don’t call each other ‘Honey’ anymore.

For we have these rat insurgents sneaking up on usholevia the sewers, coming to steal our trade secrets and then use it against us back in their own countries. Luckily the sewers lead through the cesspool and one can smell them from afar.

As the rule of nature, the biggest rat of them all is their leader. You must see him. He’s almost as big as a kangaroo; and he can do a perfect impersonation of a baboon.rolling on the floor laughingHis 1st lieutenant has an obsession with fire engines (the red variety) and bleats like a bloody he-goat! Then there is their new back rider too. Not really that new; for in horse terms we would call her 'long in the tooth'. Another one has a tail like a crocodile. His tail is so long he has to drape it around his body.

Can you imagine a pack of wild rats led like a flock of sheep by a baboon? Of course there are a few other lost sheep in the flock too; bleating along sporadically, competing for promotion up the pecking order. Nature can be so interesting. laugh

I know it would seem that I only write to you when I need help. There is a man in Hamelin who plays the flute and he is reputed to be very effective against rats. Bring him along when you come to visit me. These are desperate times.

Your friend in Troll Land.
cats meow cats meow
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Making Perfect Children

I have a bit of a headache this morning. I think there was something wrong with the fish. Or maybe it was the red tide that hit me when the cork came out that last bottle.drink pouringBut I don’t want to talk about that today. I want to talk about making perfect children. danceline

I’m sure that you would have noticed that all children do not have the same good looks. And, let’s face it, not all children have the same brain capacity. Some are brighter than others. Children are born with varying degrees of these two qualities, but it is seldom that you will get an exceptionally good-looking child that is exceptionally gifted with brains as well. professor

Although a less than well shaped nose or ill proportioned ears does not make your child less loveable, we do want our children to be perfect. But that is just my humble opinion. dunno

Some people may believe that that is just the way nature deals the cards, but it is not the case. You do have control over that. You can make it happen. And I’ll share that secret with you today.

You ladies must listen carefully now; this concerns you.

Pick a night when you know that nobody will call at your house. Then remake your bed, using only the best satin sheets. Run a full bath of water and add all those fragrant oils and salts that you like so much in there. Stay in that bath for as long as you can. Then dab yourself dry; never rub. Pour two glasses of champagne and get into bed alone. Then finally, pick up your cell phone and call me. grin

Of course there is no guarantee that you will conceive the first time, but I will be more than willing to try a few more times without an additional fee.laugh laugh

Enjoy the day and may your children be very good-looking and brainy as well.
cats meow cats meow

PS
I know some of you ladies are very shy about these things, so if you want to comply simply leave a message saying 'Very amusing'.
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Abbreviations.

Reading blogs here on CS reminds me of reading a Frederick Forsyth novel. Although he was a great story teller, he had the knack to bore me at times, causing me to skip a few pages from time to time. But his plots were so good; you had to see the end out.

So what was it that bored me? yawn It was his elaborate use of abbreviations and acronyms when explaining inner workings and hierarchy of government agencies like the CIA, hole the FBI, the KGB, the Mossad and what all. All riddled with abbreviations for the various departments and their heads. detective And repeated word by word in every book.

Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit now, but in every third or fourth blog (or comment) that I read there is an abbreviation. And I never know what it means. dunno Oh, I get the gist of the story, but I always wonder what it stands for and I feel too silly to ask every time.

So far I have only mastered one of them for it speaks for itself.applause

So WTF do all the others mean?blushing

For a change we have a sunny day with almost no wind. If the wind holds, I'll be getting the crew together. This is a day to go to sea. The fish are waiting for us.

Enjoy this lovely Wednesday.
cats meow cats meow

PS
Acknowledgements
This blog and all comments made by me and/or my phantom accounts were copied and pasted from
http://vattikakvankabouters.com/
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An Inside Job?

I woke up this morning to find that 2 SMS's had arrived during the night. They were from my bank; informing me that the amount of R 1500.00 were withdrawn twice during the night from an account that I have not used for several months. sigh

It sent me scampering for my card, thinking it might be stolen, but it was still where I normally keep it. Then my blood started boiling. very mad Why was this allowed? My daily limit is R 1500.00. And how did it happen.

I checked my statement on internet and found that the one withdrawal was made just before midnight; the other slightly after midnight; barely 5 minutes apart. I immediate blocked my card and when the bank doors opened I walked in there demanding to speak to the manager. He must have seen that I’m not in a mood for chatting frustrated for he ordered coffee without even asking.

I produced my bank card and statement and demanded an explanation. He tapped some stuff into the terminal on his desk, shook his head slowly, asked me to excuse him for a minute and he went out. He left me there to dry for the best part of ten minutes and when he returned he apologized profusely. Said it was a bank error and, grin while ushering me out his office, he promised that the money would be back in my account before I get home. yay He proved to be as good as his word.

But I smell a rat here. confused Like hell it was a bank error. And since when do banks replace cancelled cards for free?

I think the bank has a problem.

I mean, how did the phantom drawer know what my daily limit was? The money was drawn about 10 km from where I live; I could easily have drawn it myself. He did not even question me about that. And how was the money drawn with the card safely in my possession? confused

Anyway, what ends good is all good. dancing

Enjoy the day wherever you are!
cats meow cats meow
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Canine Expressions

I know his bark is worse than his bite, but you are barking up the wrong tree to believe that a barking dog never bites. So don't dog around with the top dog. Every dog gets his day and that is today. laugh

Here are some doggish expressions. Oh, there are plenty more where this comes from. I’m hope some of members who do not normally speak English may benefit from it.professor

1 His bark is worse than his bite – he is not as bad as he appears.
2 Bark up the wrong tree - pursue a wrong course of action.
3 A barking dog never bites - threats are seldom carried out.
4 Why keep a dog and bark yourself – don’t do the job if you had hired somebody to do it.
5 Gone to the dogs - taken a turn for the worse.
6 My dogs are barking - my feet are hurting or my feet smell
7 In the dog house - in trouble.
8 Dog tired - very tired.
9 Sick as a dog - very sick.
10 Dog and pony show – a performance to impress someone.
11 A dog’s breakfast - something bad.
12 Dog does not eat dog - bad persons will not harm one another.
13 It's a dog eat dog world – it is a vicious world.
14 It's a dog's life - it’s an easy life or it is a hard life.
15 Lie down with dogs and get up with fleas – you will become like your friends.
16 A dog's chance - no chance at all.
17 Like cat and dog - quarreling all the time.
18 Let sleeping dogs lie - don't bring up an old issue that may raise tempers.
19 Raining cats and dogs - raining heavily.
20 Dog in the manger - a person who will not share what he does not need.
21 Happy as a flea in a doghouse - very happy.
22 Top dog – the boss or leader.
23 Go see a man about a dog - go use the toilet.

So there you are. Enjoy the day and remember: Dogs hunt in packs!

cats meow cats meow
PS
If you wish to read more Doggish expressions look here,
http://www.doghause.com/idioms3.asp
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Red Is The Colour

Ever wondered why fire engines are red? It is a question I had often asked when I was a child. The best I could ever get was that flames are red, but they’re not. But now, after all these years I have finally worked it out.banana

Traditionally a fire engine was manned by six fire fighters and six is a half dozen. Eggs are sold by the half dozen and are laid by hens after being fertilized by a rooster. grin

Roosters are also found on top of church steeples and church steeples are tall structures, almost like a ship’s mast. Ships sail on the sea and there are plenty of fish in the sea, or so I have been told many a time. Most fish (if not all) have fins. professor

The Fins made war against the Russians and the Russians were known as Reds. So that is why fire engines are red. idea

Simple as that. I cannot understand why it took me so long.laugh laugh

Have a great day out there.
cats meow cats meow
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