Catfoot Blog

Friends & Acquaintances

A friend can be anybody who is not an enemy, therefore even an unknown person in another country, whom you have never heard of can be deemed a friend, simply because he belongs to a certain nation or a group of people. This is only for lack of a better word because the word ‘friend’ has another deeper meaning.

The word is often confused with ‘acquaintances’ who are not friends at all. Acquaintances include all the people you know who are not friends or family. They are normally brought to you by circumstances which are quite unlike friends who you carefully choose from those you are acquainted with.

Something else we like to call friends are pen pals. These are people who correspond with each other via snail mail, email, social sites, and so forth. Meeting once or twice does not make them friends; they are merely correspondents who happen to be acquainted with each other. If you want to call them your friends, try asking them to help when you are in a spot of bother.

And then there are your ‘work friends’. When you have a special relationship with one or more of your colleagues at work, you cannot call him or her as a friend if just because you ‘cover’ for each other, have lunch together, or have a few pints together after work. If you don’t spend time together outside of the work setup, you are just acquaintances, forced together by circumstances. Will you still keep up the ritual if one of you changes job? I think not. This is more of an alliance or a clique.

You also have casual friends, buddies; people you like and who you spend time with voluntary because you like them. Some of them are only your friends because there is something to gain by it. You too probably have a few ‘friends’ purely for what there is to gain, be that a promotion at work, influence, prestige or any other favors.

There are many other special relationships formed by circumstances, too many to mention here but the bottom line is that they are not your friends. While it is not impossible for a deeper friendship to develop from it, friends are not forced together by circumstances but rather drawn together by a mutual affection.

Then what are friends? A friend is a person who shares a mutual bond of affection with you, other than love or family ties. Somebody who earned your respect and who you have selected from those you are acquainted with. Somebody you would entrust with your house keys when you go on vacation.

The real test for a friend is when you are in need' not simply because he can help you but because he wants to; somebody who would do himself short to help his friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Have a wonderful day

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Mar 2018
in Opinionated
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A Minute Of Your Time?

Can you give me a minute of your time? Of course not, you cannot save, give away, receive or spend time; it is just a figure of speech. And yet, there is an abundance of it in the universe, which is defined qualitatively and quantitatively by time, space and matter.

Of all the things in the universe, time is the single item that science finds hardest to explain and all we can do is to do as much as we can as it relentlessly walks on; or we can sit idle, simply watch it goes by. It waits for no one.

Time compares well with the three stages of water.

The past is frozen solid; it starts now and stretches back to the beginning; whenever that was. There is nothing we can do to change it. Yes, we can correct the effects of the mistakes we made yesterday but we cannot undo them. What is done is done. An apology does not undo your previous action; it only admits to making a mistake. We cannot save a position and restore to it when things work out wrong.

The future is hidden; an impenetrable steam vapor that nobody can see through. Some people claim that they can but that is a topic on its own. It starts now and stretches forward into eternity.

The present, also known as ‘now’, is a fleeting moment in time between the future and the past when the steam vapor of the future condenses into water before it instantly freezes into the solid ice masses of the past. It is strange that the only component of time that we have direct control over, last for just a moment. Yet it determines the past which shapes the future.

To those who believe that time is the best teacher or that time is on their side, I have bad news. Time will kill all his patrons and will eventually destroy everything. Time is just something that prevents everything from happening at once; something to stretch the process of his destruction.

May you all have a good time!

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Mar 2018
in Opinionated
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I Don't Think I was Rude

It happened about seven houses from home. The man saw me coming and moved to his garden wall as I returned from my regular morning walk. I cursed at myself for not being on the other side of the road.

It was obvious that he intended to talk to me and I don’t want to talk to him. I avoid people I don’t like. If a woman has to wear sunglasses to hide a black eye at times one can still argue that she walked into the door jamb; they both drink excessively during weekends but I know that is not the reason for the occasional black eye. I greet him when I see him but that is where it ends whereas I normally stop for a little small talk with the other neighbors.

He asked me if I’m upset with him and I denied it. I’m not upset with him, I simply don’t like him. Then he asked why I never talk to him. I had already tried to get out of it by my tame reply on his previous question but he was not going to let up so I told him that I don’t like him. It is not an insult. I just don’t like him.

He wanted to know why I don’t like him. “Look,” I said, “I’m sure you will be able to think of one or two reasons that will cause people not to like you. Some people dislike me as well. So why not leave it at that. I don’t want to get into an argument with you about this.” I was about to resume my walk home.

But he insisted that I tell him so I told him that I don’t like the way he treats his wife. He turned red and told me I’m interfering with his privacy. I replied that as his wife had to run to the neighbors for help several times in the past, it is no longer a private or domestic affair. He said that we’re a bunch of busybodies and that we should stay out of his private life.

I told him to hell with his privacy and that if he asked a question, it is not my problem if he did not like the answer. I started walking again.

When I was about ten meters off he shouted, “You effing oxygen thief. You should stay out of my private affairs, effing rude old bastard.” I preferred to ignore him and walked on. For special effects he still added: “You effing stupid old arsehole!” He’s got a good thirty years on me but I fancied my chances with him. I had a good mind to turn around but sanity prevailed and I walked on.

Now, more than two weeks later, I find the episode amusing and I wish there was somebody around to record a video of it. I would have loved to look at it from another angle but one thing stuck with me. How can he tell me I was rude when he was the only rude one around? I was polite and soft-spoken the whole time. I only responded to questions that he insisted on being answered.

May you have a glorious Monday!

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Feb 2018
in Opinionated
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Reflections Of My life

I have done a lot of thinking of late. Thinking about what might have been, what could have been, what has been and what has not been. For some things there is still time while for others, I fear, it is too late. Mercifully those are few. I have done most of what I wanted to do. Yes, I had my ups and my downs but the average line was always above the line.

Regrets there are only a few too. There are a few things that I should have done differently, but I’m happy with my life as it is.

Maybe it is because I never had any unrealistic dreams. I was often accused of having no ambition and that I don’t fulfill my potential but I’d rather build on what I am than to chase unreachable goals. I was blessed with so many talents. Some said I must become a writer and other said I must become an artist. My parents wanted me to become a preacher. Everybody had different plans for me. I disappointed them all and I’m not apologizing for that. I did what I wanted to do.

I have always been the champion of the underdog. Somebody once said it is because I’m a loser. Yet I never felt like a loser. I’d rather help the loser back to his feet before I cheer the winner. There is no disgrace in losing. I’d rather lose fairly than win by cheating. Such would be a hollow victory. You cannot bullshit yourself. If somebody defeats me by cheating I feel great because that is an admission by him that I’m better, stronger or smarter than him. Why else would he cheat?

More than all, I’m at peace with myself and I bear no grudges. I may retaliate when somebody does me wrong but I forget about it as soon as now. I cut my losses and get on with my life. I don’t hate anybody or anything; hate consumes you until you are just an empty shell. If somebody wants to hate me, it is his unhappiness. It cannot interfere with mine.

Yes, there are still a few things I still plan to do. And I’ll do it for they are all reachable. I’m not going to start chasing the end of the rainbow now. Achieving a goal has always been an anticlimax to me. The process of getting there is what brings me satisfaction.

May this be a joyful day to you all.

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Feb 2018
in Lifestyle
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Dangerous Words

Every now and again I produce a blog that is completely misunderstood because of an innocent word or phrase appearing somewhere in the blog. I’m talking about a word or phrase so irrelevant that if the sentence containing that word was omitted, it would not have changed the spirit of the blog and yet, the inclusion of it changes the entire flow of comments. Somehow some people latches onto that word or phrase and respond to it in stead of the blog as a whole. This happens mostly when the ‘trigger’ appears in the first or last paragraph.

In this way even a tongue in the cheek blog becomes a serious affair. I’m led to believe that some people only scan the blog for a ‘forbidden’ word or phase to react on, often negatively and sometimes completely out of context with the spirit of the blog. All you need is the first few comments to be off track and you never get your topic back. I will include a few examples in the comments section.

These triggers may change from time to time depending on world affairs and other blogs at the time but some always remain controversial. Some of the more popular triggers in the past included corporal punishment, PMS, poaching, death penalty, scammers, rape, sex, hunting, meat production, and any form of woman/child/animal abuse. While these are all excellent blog topics they tend to derail my blogs if mentioned en passant. This phenomenon also appears to be regional because I noticed that Americans can get quite excited if the word ‘Trump’ appears in a blog.

I have intentionally included a lot of triggers here to give everybody something to latch on to. You have my blessings to comment on anything and maybe suggest more controversial triggers so I can avoid them in future. Oh dear! I should have listed then in the first or last paragraph

It seems that I come from a notorious family of writers. My father writes checks that no bank will honor, my mother wrote memoirs that nobody looked at, my brother wrote novels that nobody published, my other brother wrote songs that nobody ever sang, my sister writes poems that nobody recites and I write blogs that nobody reads.

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Feb 2018
in Opinionated
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You Call It Justice?

I find it disturbing that people can call it justice when a human is killed and mutilated by a wild animal and yet when a human kills another human they don’t want to see the death penalty being implemented.

Has the life of a wild animal now been elevated to above that of a human being? I agree that poaching is wrong and should be punished severely and I agree that a poacher eaten by a wild animal brought it onto himself but it is not for us to say that he got what he deserved. We are supposed to be compassionate beings; the senseless killing of another living creature, be that animal or human, is a tragedy. At least that is what it should be!

It is a disregard to human life that leads to callous remarks like we saw just the other day on Annlee’s blog. That is why we have a situation where cruelty to animals, treason, tax evasion and the likes is punished more severely than murder. We have lost our respect for life, especially that for human life.

Relax, it is Friday

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Feb 2018
in Opinionated
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This Is What She Wanted

Well, as they say, all good things come to an end. And this was a good one. I felt kind of sad when I took her home earlier. She’s leaving today and we said our good-byes. When I met her I thought it would be one or two dates and then good bye. I never dreamed that it would develop into such a pleasant encounter. I will remember her for a long time.

Finding a suitable gift for her did not prove such a challenge at all. I must thank Stargazer for giving me the idea. Friday afternoon, after cutting the sketch that she admired so much into a rectangular shape, I left it on the dining room table where she could not miss it. She did not give me the opportunity to offer it to her. She asked for it; the only thing she ever asked from me.

We had it framed Saturday morning and collected it on Monday. I must admit that it looks better with the frame, but I still think the frame is worth more than the sketch. Mind you, it has moved up in value since it ruined a perfectly good panel saw while trimming the edges. It lost some detail at the bottom and the sides in order to get the edges straight. There was some sort of a ditch with some water on the foreground; part of it still visible at the bottom. The size of it is 618mm X 411mm.

The sketch has a rather obscure history. I did it out of boredom, on an irregular shaped piece of scrap asbestos left by the builders, while waiting for the fire to get ready. It took no longer than 30 minutes or so. I used a piece of charcoal from a previous fire to draw it. When the fire was ready, my uncompleted ‘masterpiece’ landed back on the heap of building scrap where it was in the sun, wind and rain for a few months. You can notice the discoloration on the left and top. It still needed plenty of work but it was never intended to survive.

When they eventually came to remove the rubble, my brother-in-law preserved my ‘masterpiece’ for greater honors by putting it in the garage where it stood collecting dust for another two years before a woman from Gauteng noticed it when I brought her home the first time. The rest of it is already told.

I hope it brings her the same sweet memories as her gift brings me when I listen to my music. My gift to her compares poorly with the Bluetooth speakers she bought me but this is what she wanted.

Well, cheer up. If everything go according plan, tomorrow will be Friday.

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Feb 2018
in Dating & Relationships
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A Gift To All South Africans.

Last night, while everybody was celebrating Valentine’s Day, we received the biggest Valentine’s gift we could ask for. Under immense pressure Jacob Zuma resigned as president of South Africa.

At about 10 PM former president Jacob Zuma addressed the nation, at least the part who was near TV sets, to announce his resignation. In a national television address, Zuma said he had "come to the decision to resign as president of the Republic with immediate effect".

This is rich. He decided to abdicate! He had no choice. He was facing impeachment and a forceful eviction. At least he sort of admitted to that when he said "I have only asked my party to articulate my transgressions and the reason for its immediate instruction that I vacate office." I would have expected that he would know this; the press is full of it. Oh yes, I forgot He had no formal schooling, so reading may be a bit of an obstacle.

In an earlier TV interview on the same day, he said he had received "very unfair" treatment from the party he joined in 1959 and for which he had fought for decades against apartheid. Well, at least this part was more or less true although I don't know if it was unfair

He further expressed his anger over "the manner in which the decision is being implemented... I don't agree as there is no evidence of if I have done anything wrong." Now this is priceless; no evidence. He has a dossier that will put Encyclopaedia Britannica to shame.

There are no jubilations in the streets as was the case in Zimbabwe but we are holding our breaths in quiet optimism. We are not expecting miracles overnight but rather hope that our new president will improve our image and restore some credibility overseas.

And we are speculating about the future of Jacob Zuma. Just like Mugabe, he also tried to get his wife (one of the six) in power to protect him. Will he now, at last, be held accountable for his deeds in the past? We don’t know but if the new president and The ANC won’t interfere, he is going to have big problems. Cyril Ramaphosa has no love for Jacob Zuma but we don’t know what they may be up to in order to preserve unity within the ANC.

All in all, everybody appears to be fairly happy with getting Ramaphosa as our leader and we’re all hoping that he will live up to expectations.

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Feb 2018
in Politics
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My Valentine

I never make a fuss about big days like Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day and the likes. To me it is just a commercialized moneymaking racket and the real meanings of these days have long been forgotten.

Oh, I’ll join the fun if there is a party somewhere and if not, I normally book a table somewhere well in advance. But I never waste my money on expensive cards and BS that end up in the dustbin a week later. It is the same with Guy Fawkes Day. I'm not upset with my money and won't set it alight. When my children were still young, I used to buy a few fancy rockets just to see the awe in their faces but that was a long time ago.

I don’t know what is happening this year; maybe I’m going bonkers in my old days. Where I normally book a table at the more average places, I booked a table at one of the more expensive places. I never eat seafood when I eat out, yet I selected a place that specializes in seafood. I normally buy the first and the best Valentine cards but this year I spent about thirty minutes browsing fancy Valentine cards and ended up buying what probably was the most expensive card in the shop.

All because of a certain woman from Gauteng who happens to like seafood and who I probably won’t see again after tomorrow. So, it is not even an investment for the future. Why am I trying so hard to impress her? And the worst of it is that she cannot be impressed by any of this. If I entertain her at home and treat her on take-away fish and chips, wrapped in newspaper, she’d be happy too. She’s easily the least demanding woman I met in my life.

And before you tell me I’m in love; I’m not. Yorkie still steal my thoughts too often; not as often as before but she’s still somewhere there.

I wish you all a happy Valentine's Day.

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Feb 2018
in Dating & Relationships
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Some People!

I’m very even tempered; always the same. When somebody or something pissed me off, I don’t take it out on the next person and I cannot understand why some people are like that.

My neighbor's wife is one of those. Generally she is very sweet and we get along well. I have entertained them a few times and go there sometimes as well. I think we can consider us friends. But every now and again she gets into a bad mood and then she is the unpleasantness in person.

Yesterday afternoon when we came from the beach, my neighbor's wife was in the garden and when I greeted her, she ignored me. I repeated my greeting but she promptly turned around and went into the house. I opened my house door for my guests, asked them to excuse me for few minutes and walked around to my neighbor's place.

She opened the door and I spotted her husband standing a few yards behind her making some gestures towards me that I translated as ‘run for the hills’. I was not going to take such advice.

I greeted her again and asked her why she does not want to greet me. She said that she can greet whoever she wants. I agreed with her but added that then she should be consistent so I don’t waste my time greeting people who don’t want to greet me. Her husband still stood at the back grinning and covering his head with his arms as if expecting a nuclear detonation. I had trouble keeping my face straight. Sorry, she said, she’s not feeling well. I’m sorry too, I thought but left it at that. To rub my misgivings in a bit, I greeted her again and she managed a weak smile and greeted me back. Fourth time lucky!

Later, after my other two guests have departed, I relayed the story to my girlfriend and she suggested PMS. I have heard a lot of this ‘evil spirit’ that possesses women at times but cannot always understand it. I can understand that it leaves the host irritated and frustrated but is it really reason to be rude to people who you have a good relationship with?

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Enjoy it!

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Feb 2018
in Opinionated
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Aging Gracefully

I think the most difficult part of aging is admitting to it. Before that you live in denial and sometimes make a spectacle of yourself trying to pretend that you’re still young.

My general image was the first to suffer as I grew older. First I got tired of the all-night parties; next the long hair with the occasional pony tail went out the door. Then my dress code went to the dogs. Gradually baseball caps made place for wide brimmed hats, T-shirts went out in favor of golf shirts & button up shirts, shorts became longer, canvas shoes gave way to leather shoes, jeans moved on for cotton slacks, and finally the vivid colors faded into something more sober.

Mind you, I still wear jeans more often than I should but that is because I think I still can. The thing is, I still have the same body as when I was 25. Over the last 40 years I gained 5 kilos. My ex-wife told me the other day that my bottoms don’t fill out my jeans as they used to but then my six-pack is still there; somewhat depleted but still there. So, as long as I can wear hipsters, I will. See, still the young man syndrome.

And I don’t know exactly when, why or how it happened but my taste for alcohol has faded. It was no conscious effort. I just discovered one day that I don’t drink half as much as I used to drink. My current view on alcohol is that I gave it up 20 years ago. I feel so proud of it that I celebrate it regularly with a few glasses of wine or brandy.

But it is not all milk and honey. In the mornings when I get out of bed my knees creak like an old shìthouse door and when my feet touch the cold floor all I can say is “f*ck, I’m still alive”, based only on the assumption that ghosts cannot feel the cold.

I cannot read without glasses and more than often I cannot remember where I left them last. I frequently find them on my head after looking everywhere else for 30 minutes or more. But there are advantages to a short memory; I forgive those who did me short much easier and I can read the same books and look at the same movies after a year or so.

Not ideal but it could have been worse. I have not (yet) grown any unruly hair at the most ungodly places and apart from a spot of arthritis and hypertension, I enjoy good health. Most my friends have many more ailments and they enjoy their old age; and so do I.

Admitting to old age does not mean surrendering to it.

And enjoy whatever you do today.

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Jan 2018
in Lifestyle
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A Gift or Not A Gift?

She is here on holiday from one of the Northern provinces and will be leaving for home on the fifteenth. I met her at a dance on the third day of her vacation. After spending a very pleasant evening together, we decided to see each other again.

To the present we dated five times and we have three more dates set before she returns. The last one is on Valentines Day. I have booked a table for us in a dark and cozy seafood joint with a small dance floor. I can only find one word to describe our dates so far and that is ‘joyful’. We will probably spend some more time together this weekend. She appeared on the scene at a time when I needed somebody to get somebody else out of my system.

She is not a woman that I would have dated regularly if she was from around here but now, after we dated a few times and knowing her better, I must admit that I would have hanged on to her if she did not live so far away. During our first two dates we have sort of agreed that we won’t pursue the relationship afterwards. Since then the subject was not raised again. I don’t have a problem with that. As I said earlier, she is not quite the woman that I would normally date.

But the fact remains that we had some great times during the last three weeks. I want to give her something to show my appreciation. She is not a materialistic person and she has always offered to pay half the bill. Naturally I refused every time. Last night she wanted to pay the whole bill and I had to be very firm to change her mind.

I have never been in a situation like this and I don’t know if it is appropriate to buy her a parting gift and if so, what a suitable gift will be.

See! It is almost weekend again.

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Feb 2018
in Dating & Relationships
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This is a list of Catfoot's Blogs. Click here for Catfoot's Blog List

Catfoot Blog (616)

Friends & Acquaintances

A Minute Of Your Time?

I Don't Think I was Rude

Reflections Of My life

Dangerous Words

You Call It Justice?

This Is What She Wanted

A Gift To All South Africans.

My Valentine

Some People!

Aging Gracefully

A Gift or Not A Gift?

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