Nice Guy Syndrome The nice guy syndrome refers to a behavioral pattern in some men of being very nice to others.
The typical nice guy puts other people’s needs first, always helps others, avoids confrontation, does chivalrous things, and is proud of it. His nice behavior is particularly obvious with women.
The nice guy syndrome has been getting increasingly more attention in the past few years in psychology, as the less than satisfying effects it creates make it start to lose its positive image.What’s Wrong with Being a Nice Guy?
Quite a lot is wrong with being a nice guy as matter of fact. As a confidence coach, I often work with men who I soon realize have the nice guy syndrome.
As a result of this syndrome, they have mediocre careers compared with how skilled they are and how hard they work, they are in toxic relationships, or they sabotage almost every aspect of their lives. I have seen such effects so often that for me, they became highly predictable.Nice guy behavior may look good on paper, but in reality it has a pretty ugly face. In order to grasp this, consider that the nice guy syndrome fundamentally means people pleasing behavior. As a consequence:
Nice guys come off as needy and insecure;
Nice guys are generic and predictable, so it’s hard for them to create a spark;
Nice guys end up ignoring their own needs and not taking care of themselves;
Nice guys end up not being there for the people who really matter, because they try to please everybody;
Nice guys are full of repressed rage and they tend to erupt at the most inappropriate times;
Nice guys lie, hide and they try to get what they want in indirect, manipulative ways.The leading authority on this topic is Dr. Robert Glover, a therapist who specializes in working with men with the nice guy syndrome, and author of the best-selling self-help book for men No More Mr. Nice Guy.
According to Dr. Glover, all nice guys operate (consciously or not) on the same basic paradigm::cheers:
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