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teenameenateenameena Blog (370)

1,548 Blog Comments370 Blog370 Blogs277 Forums128 Threads5 Quizzes

What an.. instrument.....

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor”
“Of course child. What may I do for you”
“Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me.. Hide it under your robes perhaps”
“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.”
“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you,” she replied.
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare”
“From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor”
Father replied, “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused.”
Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next please!”
rolling on the floor laughing
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Lol..men are men....

laugh
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"

“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."

"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba." .........
: rolling on the floor laughing
He came up with that name quick
doh
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A. Male figure..2

First thing I want to say is...this blog..
Is..NOT. .about the men here in blogs
And my lips are sealed...because
The rules here..I don't want to break
The rules...
Most people talk about fear of the unknown, but if there is anything to fear, it is the known.”
The fear Agoraphobia is a rare type of anxiety disorder. If you have it, your fears keep you from getting out into the world. You avoid certain places and situations because you think you'll ...get... trapped and not be able to get ..ANY....help.....(mind you)
Fear demands comfort, security, hope. Fear takes shelter in belief. Whether you believe in God or any super power.(in my opinion
Fear is a good thing..believe it or not)

(Psychopaths do not feel fear)

Smoking.. taking drugs. Ganging up with others who feel the same way, and doing whatever comes to the mind...,
Least caring..
hell with the law, society, humanity, who gets hurt and the like...all the ones around..
Like pp....(Peyton place)
In coal black darkness.
IF there is a bottom or what could be staring you right in the face on the other side of the thick veil of darkness.you never know. .
(Ladies think 101 ..times //
Before meeting someone unknown
To you...face to face)
whether the act would be out of curiosity or greed and desire to posses the ultimate knowledge does not matter,..
Sometimes just knowing the outcome isn’t enough for certain people. Let’s say you’re bungee jumping off a tall bridge. You know the rope will pull you back up when you jump, but still fear the unlikely outcome of the rope breaking or somehow injuring yourself. To be fearless is to reassure yourself with rational
knowledge of that fear.
...
The phrase, “There’s nothing to fear but fear itself.” is true enough. All of it is simply in your mind. A good example is if you see a bb gun in someone’s hand. Your mind can play a trick and immediately panic, thinking that it’s a real gun. However, if you know it’s just a toy bb gun, then you know it isn’t life-threatening. You don’t fear the outcome as much because it will probably only involve a mark rather than your life itself.
a place, situation, or thing that is not known about or understood explorers venturing off into the unknown ...you know the
Out come sometimes..

True story....

Fear is paralyzing and intense. Depending on how bad the fear is, it’s like a million thoughts racing through your mind. You can feel and hear your heart race and intensify, like a slight panic. Each thought mostly starts with why and how you even .....
got into the situation you are in currently.....
. It takes about a moment to realize what just happened. You start to ask yourself, what can you possibly do to change the situation?
(Please do think)
Not everyone are lucky...(like me)
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
......
There is nothing that man fears more than the touch of the unknown. He wants to see what is reaching towards him, and to be able to recognize or at least classify it. Man, always tends to avoid physical contact with anything strange.”....
- Elias Canetti...
OK....I hope and pray...
God helps ...the innocents.

wave
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Dum......Dum...

An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, my hearts dearest etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names.' The elderly lady hung her head, 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped out.....of. my mind about 10 years ago,he is a moron. and I'dont care. To..ask this cranky old Dum...Dum...what his name is
rolling on the floor laughing
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Speaking horse......

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your trouser pocket'. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.' The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again. Wife replied.. 'Your horse ... phoned'
rolling on the floor laughing
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A. Male figure.....

Is. He a devil?....I am not trying
To insult any men here in the blogs...
This is a true story....I am really
Scared deep down....I have not
Slept...past 2days....that handsome
Faced man looking ...was he
A human ?....I am quite confused.help
Men were created with the desire and need for sex to procreate. They want and need that. Women are created to nurture to provide the continuation of the species....
Basic is understood.
That is all ok
But....women.
Need(sometimes lot of) time to
Think...no?
I do understand
No doubt god made.
Them that way..
But..what about
Sixth sense...civilization
Working towards
For a better society
Quite shocking...
They could just
Think in one direction
Do they think
Women are desperate?
emotional and physical companionship.
Needs to come
From inside feelings
No?
I thought..
Trust, Loyalty, and Honesty. Is everything
That matters before
Relationship
Am I wrong?
Why act like women put on this earth to please him?
there are a lot of honest men out there they want nothing but love respect and honesty from a girl …isnt it? but every relationship has expectations ..
I do have good
Understanding
Of this....
I
think the genders are equal when it comes to wanting “things" from the opposite sex. Whether it be dinner, sex, gifts, a home, etc…
As normal human beings..
No?
A give and take
Both sides. Right?
Not every girl is crazy about handsome face and body built up....some are okay with ordinary looks. Not so good physical built ...too, so it's not about being the most handsome man of this world.
Unlike men, women are not primarily driven by looks. Most often than not, we will decide if we are attracted to a man because of how that man makes us feel.
We want a man who is in control but not controlling. There’s a difference.
When we say "I love you", we mean it.
Even when we are in love with you, we hate many things that you do but we will never tell you.
Either we seen bad
Experience of other
Girls. Or had personal
Bad experiance
Or heard from reliable source...
that's why we don't trust you easily.
I know the real fact.... some are
Real gentlemen.
All I am. asking is ...What's wrong
In saying.....
Thanks for your apparent interest in me (whatever the name) but I’m not really interested in going that direction with you,”
How many times
To say...I’m not interested, sorry.”
finally exhausted with this bullshit and feeling forced to lie: I have a boyfriend.
doh frustrated
I think some can not take
No for an answer....
Dear men,
We respect you a lot and we want you to respect us. Both male and female together make this society, let's walk hand in hand, you take a step, we'll take another. This journey will be more beautiful! For women, it’s about the endless journey not the destination.

wave
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Heartfelt tribute to the superpower.....

A very.....famous and we'll known dargah in Mumbai for relief from any bad times. I have personally visited this place and worship for good health. May lord shower upon every one the blessings and prosper everyone on good path. This place is not limited for specific religion. Mumbai is highly blessed by Baba and all people around it. Hope a person who is indeed seeking relief from bad evils and signs of spirit's will be definitely blessed here. Very popular time to visit is on Thursday as its most beneficial. No prior appointment required. Can travel by train, bus or taxi to visit this place.,..
The best place I ever seen in my life to solve the problem which may be natural or artificial in nature irrespective of any caste, creed, religion, gender, etc......
our life.(though I believe in karma)
Whether everything’s already scripted out or completely up to us, we can’t tell one way or the other.

Positive thinking brings positive results, positivity makes us happy, healthy and we will live longer. Sometimes it's hard to control negative thinking but we should always practice to replace it by positive thinking. With practicing you will get the results and you will start thinking only positive....
More to come...on this topic
In the comment section...
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The Polite Way to P...(ee)

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Johnny", if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" ?
Johnny...
said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' ??
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. ??
And you, Michael?
can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?
Michael....
said: 'I would say: honey..., may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' ????
The teacher fainted...????
Post Comment

Keeping mind blank.....

Keeping mind ....Blank.....
is possible, but like any other skill, it takes practice.
I notice some of the other affirmative answers say "meditation" and others give some "pointers" or techniques. These techniques are actually parts of meditation.

There are a number of schools of thought, and styles of meditation, but what I know involves

Choosing a calm, peaceful place; it is easier if it is quiet.
Placing yourself in a comfortable position (for me, that is sitting, both feet on the floor, hands palm up on my thighs.
Closing your eyes to avoid visual distraction.
Taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly
I choose a word as a focal point - it can be a word with spiritual significance to you, or just a sound -I used "One" for many years.
Breath slow breaths, experience your breath.
On the out-breath, I say to myself my "word" or mantra
Know that thoughts will come. Do not fight them, also do not follow them. As a leaf in the river, let them flow by. If you find yourself distracted, return to focusing on your breath and your word (you will eventually find that you use the word less and less -it is sort of an aid while you are learning, and a help to moving into a meditation session.
Don't get ambitious, or proud. Start small. For many. 5 minutes seems an eternity at first. That is a good place to start. Later, move towards 10, then 15 or 20 minutes. I have heard it suggested that 20 minutes 2 or 3 times a day is a very good ultimate goal. Depending on your schedule, that may be hard to reach, but don't add stress by obsessing over stress-relief! That is moving in the wrong direction. Be kind to yourself.
Use some form of timer so that you are not inclined to check your watch. I suggest something that does not tick, and has a very gentle notification. Most cell phones have a very nice timer setting for this.

This is a practice followed by many Christian, and is very common among Christian monastics; I find, as do many, that it is conducive to prayer, and even see it as a type of prayer (often called "centering prayer"). A rough parallel in human relationships would be taking time to just sit with your beloved in silence, watching the fireplace.
But I think the basic method can be used in many traditions. -even secular. As I look at the few remaining smokers in my office, and watch them go outside for their smoke breaks, I see the basic physiology much the same -mind blank, focusing on regular slow breathing, lasting about 5 minutes. I believe that part of the relaxation smokers experience
is do to this part of the practice, having
nothing to do with the cigarette itself.


Meditation is just that in a nutshell. It can be very difficult to force your thoughts out of existence though, so while you're there with legs crossed and eyes shut, just listen to your thoughts. Let them come, but don't react to them. Don't engage with them, just listen to them as they come. After a while, they'll get tired of being ignored and will stop coming
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Didn't see that one coming.....

I was sitting at a bar one time, when I noticed that, next to me, an old drunk was hassling one of the biggest, toughest guys I’d ever seen.
The old guy was clearly blasted, and kept getting in the tough guy’s face, saying “I slept with your mother.”
Despite being huge and jacked, the tough guy just kept shrugging it off. The old guy laughed in the tough guy’s face, saying it again. “Hey, I slept with your mot*her.”
Then, the old man even poked him, and repeated himself, “No seriously, I slept with your mo*ther.”
At this point, finally, the tough guy had had enough. He grabbed the old man by his jacket and began to pull him out of the bar, yelling,


.......
“That’s it. .......
We’re going home, Dad. You’re drunk.”

laugh
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Good luck.....

All humans believe in the existence of connections or relationships between things.
Superstition and science have a relation in the fact that, each of them aims at delivering knowledge that is not common to everybody.

Superstition is a peculiar type of traditional belief without the basis of reason. It is founded upon fear born of ignorance and mystery.

It is true that science has made great advancement in its course but still it is unable to explain some mysteries of the universe. And the superstition finds its way where the mystery prevails.
Superstitions are impulsive believes in supernatural powers that don’t have any acceptable explanations. Superstition is a worldwide paradox.
...Bad luck is an unpredictable outcome that is unfortunate. A list of signs believed to bring bad luck according to superstitions:

Walking under a ladder.

Black cat crossing one's path
.
Breaking a mirror is said to bring seven years of bad luck.
.certain numbers
666....
13...
43
17
39
9
And
4.

3..together....

Friday ...13
Tuesday...13

....evil eye
Jinx
Curse
....
Even
hough nobody likes it, bad luck exists. There is no way to get rid of it, it is just a part of life. Not everything can go the way someone wants it to. If something random happens to someone and it favours them, like winning the lottery, then that is good luck for that person. Likewise, if something random happens to someone and it is unfavourable, like a rampaging rhinoceros escaping from a nearby zoo and brutally slaughtering them and 23 other people, that would be bad luck.
Generally speaking, the loss of superstitions is a sign of progress. But that doesn’t mean superstitions never have value.

Scientific progress has doubtless been remarkable in the constructive fields of life but unfortunately its achievements in the destructive fields have been much greater and far-reaching.
Superstition is a kind of blind belief on supernatural powers that don’t have any scientific explanations behind that.
Negative and
Positive is going
To stay forever
In the world..
Sometimes
Positive more
And less negative
Sometimes negative
More and less
Positive...evils
Or Satan
Good things
Or angels...
Always here
To stay in our world.
Our attitude should be within our
Control.,when we learn to
Cultivate such an attitude
We will find it far easier to
Face the challenges that life
Throws at us.

I will write more on this
In my next blog...bye for now.

wave
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Best divorce letter.....

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand-new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
PS don’t try to find me. Your SISTER, Carla, & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
.
.
.
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping, too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if I can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers, I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So, when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone ... Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Free and Rich EX-Wife
PS … I hope you and my SISTER have a great life.
By-The-Way, did she tell you her name use to be 'Carl' before her operation?....
laugh
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