I've never been one to use dating sites; never thought that I even would use one. But the fact of the matter is it has been a long time since I've been on date and whatever I've been doing hasn't been working. I've had a few online relationships, both good and bad, but I've grown to not rely on computers too much. A bit hypocritical now I guess, but I'm just out of ideas.
My first relationship with a girl was in high school, with the usual awkward teen habits and heartbreaks. During which school was becoming serious with the workload, the studies, and my job; so when things inevitably went south I just buried myself in my work. Then when I went to collage things were different; no cliches, no popular kids, no reputations. But everyone was paired up, high school sweethearts and the like and again I just focused elsewhere.
Before I knew it, 10 years had passed and I still carry that awkward teenage self around with me, growing more depressed and thinking maybe I just wasn't good enough for anyone. But I could never get my friends and family to stop being nice to me and keep telling me how great I was and you usual 'hang in there' comments. So, as cynical as I became, I thought it best to get out there before I really screwed myself up.
I know my reasons for dating, though; not for physical connection alone but to grow as a person, the opportunity to get to know someone who challenges me and brings out the best in me that I never saw. Someone I can become fascinated with and makes the world seem more surprising and wonderful. That may sound corny but it's really how I feel. I'm a hopeless romantic: I believe in surprise flowers, chocolates, opening the door, and maybe a grand declaration of love (if I can get pass being so awkward). A woman should be treated like a queen because, let's face it, guys don't have much going for themselves.
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