EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY - "Right" Vs "Happy"

How many times have you heard the question:
"Would you rather be RIGHT, or HAPPY?"
Ideally, most would say “I want both!” dancing smile

Being "RIGHT" is what the Ego wants, thereby making everything and everyone else "WRONG".
In other words, it is simply engaging in black and white thinking. dunno

Looking at it from a psychological point of view, "RIGHT vs. HAPPY" isn´t so much about who ends up being the winner or loser, but more about the desire to feel like in control. snooty

A typical example can be seen on controversial blogs where reasonable peaceful debates cannot be achieved. It always ends up with a fight to the death where no one will give up!

However, It is sometimes necessary to allow things to "hurt us more, but bother us less."

Why would we want to choose "hurt?"
Well, if we are letting go of being right, hurt might mean that we have to grieve. Maybe it's grieving the idea that we have lost control and are facing our vulnerability

However, when we start looking at the situation from a higher perspective, the loss no longer has such a tight grip. We can then let go and open up to new ideas and experiences.
Once this occurs, we are certainly "bothered less” and can move on to the “happiness” state of the emotional scale.

Now, how do we define HAPPY in this context?
This is not about winning the lotto, or getting people to do what we want them to do. Those are external things that we can't control.
It is about “acceptance” and “contentment”.

At the end of the day, it might not be as flashy as winning the lottery, but..... it is certainly much more attainable and sustainable! peace dancing teddybear
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My New Interest: Hairy Babies (Not Cry Babies!)

The more experience I have with the human race, the more I love four-legged creatures.

Apart from the horses - and dogs & cats, of course! - I have a great affinity for orangutans and gorillas as they are more human like, but have less negative characters.

I have therefore made a decision to volunteer to work for a few months with baby gorillas and orangutans and give them all the love and care that they are lacking until they can be released into their natural habitat.


On my return I shall be looking for a ghost writer to convert my many notes into a book.
Would "Jungle Woman" be a suitable title?
:
writing daisy


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All Good Things Come To An End

ATTENTION PLEASE! NEWS UPDATE...

For many years now, I have noticed something which seems to be a phenomenon:
that is, when visiting supermarkets and I am attracted to and start purchasing a specific product, up first, because of the demand, stocks are limited, and sometimes only available on delivery days.
This situation continues for some while and then, suddenly, for some unknown reason, the suppliers withdraw the product.

This phenomenon appears to be European wise because the product is not available anywhere!

The same applies to nearly all products I take a fancy of.
My question: Am I being spied upon? Am I not voting for the correct political party?confused

A theory that comes to mind is that father Xmas is buying all those products to give out at Xmas?santa waving

This also applies to apps. At first, user-friendly, no degree in rocket science required and then, as soon as a user base is established, bang! Off they go!
Constant updates required and added complications. frustrated

Am I getting senile or... is life really becoming more complicated?grin


NOW...I've just read that some of our old bloggers are leaving???wow

Are they also going to be replaced for inferior products?confused
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The Times They Are A-Changing

For many years now the Spanish have been criticised for their ill-treatment of animals (bullfighting, circuses etc.) and the official answer to this has always been: "It´s our tradition and our culture". scold

However, one part of Spain (Catalonia) has banned bullfighting, and now protests against it have started in other parts of Spain. peace

Perhaps now the age of enlightenment has finally reached Spain?
thumbs up angel2
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Back Burners

“Back burners are people we are interested in (romantically/sexually), who we are not currently involved with, and with whom we keep in contact in the possibility that we might someday connect romantically and/or sexually"

"People can have back burners even if they’re already in a romantic relationship with someone else. Also, a former romantic and/or s*xual partner can still count as a back burner so long as we still desire a romantic and/or s*xual connection with them.”
However, the level of communication is most likely platonic.
In other words, just because they have back burners does not mean they have plans to leave their current relationship.


Keeping options open
According to research, it is suggested that many people keep back burners with whom they communicate electronically, even when they’re already committed to someone else!

When it comes to 'commitment', flirting is as far as the other person will go and, when they're around you, they'll flirt to the moon and back. They'll even add in some serious moves but, that's about it!
Communication is somewhat erratic and periodic and exists mostly via gadgets (messengers, texts, emails etc.), but these are also inconsistent and subject to conditions, which means they take place mostly when the other person is free and has no one to entertain them and maybe bored.


So, what´s the solution?
Making ourselves “too available” could be a curse or a blessing. If people notice that we are ready to drop anything at the drop of a hat in order to be available for them, we are more likely to be used.

In this case, why not try to make an agenda for ourselves of things we need to get done?
If we don´t have anything, then we could make excuses. This may be against some people´s morals because it’s technically lying but, we should ask ourselves: do we really want to tend to the needs of others at the moment? hmmm uh oh


Do you have back burners?

Do you feel you are someone´s back burner?

Discuss to your heart´s content conversing daisy teddybear

Long Term Vs Short Term Relationships

Be clear on what it is you want! nerd

Depending on our life situation, we all have different priorities when it comes to the length of the relationships we are seeking.

First of all, let´s define the word “relationship”
It is a connection, a relation, the way in which two or more people behave and deal with each other.
Or, it can also be a romantic or s*xual friendship between two people, and also just a friendship.

Now, let´s define “long term” vs/”short term”
It is, of course, all relative? For some, one month, one year can be a very long time if they compare it with past relationships. A long haul?

For others, short could mean just having some fun for a week or two? cool

I´d like to quote this from our brainy friend: “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute”.

Now, let´s define “Long term”:
A steady boyfriend/girlfriend, a husband or wife, maybe a life partner, a commitment, loyalty, love, compatibility etc..
Feel free to add.............?

“Short term”:
Without it being so serious, friends with benefits, a desire to fulfill basic needs, some one night stands etc.
Please add................?

What about “intimate relationship”? Is it an interpersonal or emotional intimacy, usually including s*xual?


Having established that, are you sure of the box you ticked on your profile is the right one?
confused hmmm

The "I don´t deserve you" Syndrom

Have you ever had someone telling you “I don´t deserve you”, “I´m not good enough for you”, “You´re too good for me?
If they do, they usually mean it, and then... this is the end.

Or... they are just challenging you to argue back and convince them that they are really the One for you?
dunno

When this happens, we tend to feel guilty that our awesomeness is making them feel bad about themselves and they need some reassurance to boost their self-esteem.

How strange that, after seducing you, charming you, flattering you, making you feel that you´re special, after a few months into the relationship/friendship, they suddenly come to this realisation.
They may be in denial at first, as they can´t believe their luck that they have at last found someone really compatible with them, someone who understands them – or so they think? – they even put you on a pedestal and worship the ground you walk on as you have become the “too good to be true” person.
But, suddenly, for no apparent reason, no fault of your own, they start to make you feel inferior by bringing you down to their level so they don´t feel bad about themselves.

In other words, the person they liked and felt attracted to – or even fell in love with – in the first place, is not good enough anymore. confused

A quote from Marianne Williamson, used by Nelson Mandela: “Playing small doesn´t serve the world”. “There´s nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won´t feel insecure around you”. “We were all meant to shine, as children do”...
To this I would add: don´t let it be your deepest fear, and believe that you are “brilliant”, “talented”, “fabulous” and even powerful beyond measure.

The other option: you could agree with them and change the script, and see what happens?
At this point, they can either tell you they didn´t mean it – which they seldom do! (tell you or mean it) and find a way to end it with some banal excuse. grin

At the end of the day, whose loss is it, yours or theirs?dunno

Can anyone relate to this? conversing

Back In The Saddle Again

After the usual long summer break due to intensive heat, I am now back to my normal duties which include taking care of my four-legged friends.banana yay

They were all pleased to see me, and I them – especially my sponsored horse Swan, who was the first one to come and greet me.

Also, for the first time, I saw the new addition to the herd: a lovely 4-year old mare who came with a one-month-old foal. They are both very friendly and the mother let me touch the foal – just shows how trusting she is!
As she is not yet trained, this will be extra work for the future.cool



Here´s an update on my book:
My ghost writer has dematerialised and commercial publishers are too expensive but...
The good news is: I have found another solution. A Spanish friend of mine has offered to translate the book into Spanish and I´ve been informed that the local authorities supply a printing service, free of charge, for children´s books and good causes.
It´s always been my belief that when a door closes, another one opens – even several! – and it has always worked for me that way.dancing
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Choosing A Dog - Part 2

All dogs have their own character which leads one to make a choice on an emotional basis but, what must be realized is that the dog has been bred over many generations to highlight or suppress characteristics in appearance and character.

When purchasing a dog, one should be taking many factors into consideration.

Main categories:

Lap dogs – usually small breeds.
Ideal for people living in apartments, elderly people, or working people, and people without strong character. But, be aware that small breeds can be nervous, leading them to constant yapping, nipping, chewing etc.
Also, when choosing a small dog, take note of the individual character of the dog.

Working dogs – e.g. gun dogs (pointers, retrievers, spaniels, setters, Great Danes etc), or shepherd dogs ( border collies, Alsatians), and other working dogs (Dalmatians, boxers, Jack Russells, Labradors)…
Those dogs are very energetic and need a large space as they can be very destructive when bored! They will need lots of exercise, long daily walks and training.

They are only suitable for people with a lot of time on their hands and fit enough to manage them.

Guard dogs – e.g. Alsatians, Rottweilers, Dobermans, Great Danes (for large properties) …
Need, as well as space and time, a master with a strong character with time to spend on obedience training.
However, those larger breeds are not as dangerous as fear mongers would have us believe.
They have a quieter temperament and tend to be less active, but need a strong pack leader to whom they will be very loyal, and they tend to be a "one-master" dogs.

“Aggressive owner, aggressive dog”!!!

Fighting dogs – e.g. Staffordshire Terriers, Pit Bulls…
These have also become popular recently, but for the wrong reasons!
Usually, to try to impress one´s friends, or showing some dominance and that they have control of the dog, when in fact they do not!


Those last two breed categories “Guard Dogs” and “Fighting Dogs” are not recommended for first-time dog owners, or someone with an aggressive manner... or an outright idiot!


For those who want a quieter life.…. Get a cat!..


My own personal experience:

All my dogs have been of a large breed, starting with a collie, then a Belgian shepherd dog, and followed by 2 Rottweilers (a very dominant male and a less dominant female - not at the same time!), with a garden to run around in, as well as daily exercise and lots of obedience training.
In the last 3 years, I´ve had a Dalmatian cross Staffie male who has a very good character and very obedient. Luckily, he also has a garden to run around in and mile-long daily walks, including a beach where he can swim.
Being a cross, he has the combination of the two characters: running dog, plus guard dog – but not aggressive and not too big.


Rufus, my 3-year old Dalmatian cross Staffie


Feel free to ask questions, if any?

I´ve been a dog handler and trainer for a number of years and... no dog is untrainable, nor a lost cause!
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PARIS, GAY PARIS - My Home Town

I often hear and read about this beautiful city and some even have ambitions about spending their honeymoon there as it is the fabled glittering city of light, on “THE” hill.

It is the city where I spent the first 20 years of my life. So, I do know it better than those who write about it but have never been there.
So, I will now give you a glimpse of the Paris I know and still lives within me...

For instance, a romantic boat ride on the Seine is not as romantic as one may think. In fact, the Seine is heavily polluted, and in the summer months stinks. It is also the source for drinking water in Paris.

The renown Metro, a very efficient transport system for the inhabitants but, during the rush hours, when everybody is packed in like sardines, the air quality is very bad, making it hard to breathe and it is THE place to go to be groped, as it is the preferred home of perverts.

Well, I used to live in central Paris, on an Avenue, perhaps comparable with Hollywood Boulevard but without all the fancy shops. To a tourist, it sounds good! However, any woman who pauses for a moment would be extremely likely to be approached by some stranger and asked how much she charges for her services.

Living on a 6th floor “penthouse” in central Paris, with a view of Montmartre, can also sound very glamorous but, it must be remembered that the buildings in the city centre have been there since before the revolution, which of course means, that were built without lifts (or elevators), electricity and all modern conveniences.
Due to the constant stair climbing, I grew up to be very fit.

Paris, as other cities, has many parks and fountains. However, they are all ornamental to be looked at and admired. There is no walking or sitting on the grass, or even paddling in the fountains and this is rigorously policed.

Well, this is the Paris I have known and the reason why I couldn’t wait to leave. But, of course, most inhabitants believe their own myth and think it´s wonderful and it is the centre of the universe.


Overlaying the map of the city is an archipelago of tourist attractions, to name but a few:

First of all, the famous Eiffel Tower that, despite millions of tourists climbing all over it, is still standing and some even try their skills at skydiving from the top.

The Louvres is full of unique artwork, many of which were stolen from elsewhere by our great General Napoleon.

The Cathedral Notre Dame is a famous example of Medieval architecture.

Montmartre is the famous home of many artists and not far from where I lived. Still worth a visit, and you can have a portrait of yourself for a reasonable price - even in the nude if you so wish!

And, not to forget, the famous Arc de Triumph and the Champs Elysees, home of the President.

For those who still wish to visit Paris, the best time is August, when the majority of the natives have left. Although the weather is very hot and sticky, it is quieter and easier to get around.


A quote that comes to mind:
“Tell me a story of who you are, and see who I am in the stories I live. And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice”.

Yes, I made that choice – I left in order to taste greener pastures.
joy cartwheel

Many will tell you that "you can take a girl out of the city, but cannot take the city out of the girl".
Well, it was not my case as I was never a city girl, but more of a "country girl" at heart.
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Factors To Consider When Choosing A Dog - Part 1

“Nordic” breeds have become more popular in the last few years, especially the Siberian Husky.
Although these dogs adapt well to a warm climate, they are quite independent and are not always obedient.
Furthermore, they have a predisposition to show aggressiveness to gain dominance.
Huskies need a lot of space, exercise and training, and are not suitable for first time owners.

Another breed which has become very popular lately, particularly with young people, is the Staffordshire terrier. But, it must be remembered, terriers of all types are fighting dogs!
They have a strong character and the owner must have the character to deal with this and be able to keep the dog under control. In which case, they are not suitable for first time owners, particularly as there are new laws regarding this kind of dog. professor


When buying a dog, one must consider the characteristics which have been bred into it and check if they are compatible with the housing conditions and the time available to donate to it.

Other important factors to take into consideration: the age and character of the owner.
For example, a companion dog for elderly people is not the same as a dog meant to guard a remote property.
This may sound obvious but is often overlooked, in favour of fashion, rather than practicality – as also demonstrated by people´s choice of cars, houses, areas, etc.




Categories of breeds will be discussed in the second part.
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Healing The World Within

Imagine that you could change anything on earth...
What would your world be like if anything were possible?
Would you end hunger in Africa? Stop the killing of the whales? Bring peace to the Middle East?

Whatever you wish to do, it´s something you need to heal within you. Which means you must embody healing, peace, abundance, harmony or whatever quality you desire to experience in the world.

As Ghandi said “Be the change that you wish to see in the world”.
“If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions. but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns.
And the problem with changing your outer world without changing yourself is that you will still be you when you reach that change you have strived for. You will still have your flaws, anger, negativity, self-sabotaging tendencies etc. intact.”


Let´s say that you want to save the whales. Well, you don´t have to change your job, your family, and all your responsibilities, board a Greenpeace boat and stop a whale hunt. In fact, if your passion becomes zealotry, it may be a sign that your intent is not actually to save the whales, so you probably won´t get very far in helping them. When your true intent is to heal the wounded creature within you, you become blind to how you can actually help those outside of you. You close yourself off to creative solutions, compromise and negotiation, and reach a stalemate... while the whale hunting continues.

It is difficult for us in the West to trust that we can achieve peace and happiness if we are not doing something active to bring it about, but embodying peace and happiness DOES bring it about.
“An ounce of practice is worth more than a ton on preaching!


I´d like to share a little story from an Andean Shaman Elder who, when arriving at a village where it hadn’t rained for many months, he was asked by the villagers to call the rains. First he had to meditate for four days and needed to fast with only water to drink. On the fourth day he said he was going to “pray rain”, to which he was corrected by someone saying that what he meant was: he was going to “pray for rain”, to which he replied: “No, I am going to pray rain”. Then he came back two hours later and, within minutes, the rains broke out. The villagers were dancing with joy and, when asking him what he had done, he explained that he had not done anything... it had simply rained.
Later on, when asked why it had taken so long and did he always need to fast and pray for four days? He answered that when he had entered at the village, he noticed that it was out of Ayni. It was so out of balance that he, himself, became out of balance too. He couldn´t do anything until he went back into Ayni and, when he did, so did the village and the rains came. The old man knew that everything is healed from within!


Those who can see the problems in the world regarding climate change, lack of recycling, destruction of habitat, and who personally do nothing, but constantly complain that others are not doing anything (commonly called “why don´tcha?” ) are in fact the problem themselves. There are far too many of them, clearly aware of the problems, but who have no intent of personally doing anything about it.

There are several worldwide organisations who attempt to change this dire situation where people volunteer their services, one of them being “The Unfeck the World Organisation”

unfucktheworld.net/about/the-movement


dance danceline bowing
I am now "praying rain"!cool
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