Empty Shells....

Is it just me or, have others noticed, that there seem to be many people around who latch on to your hobbies, interests etc. and tell you they have almost identical interests? hmmm

The conversations or correspondence regarding this can go on for months, or longer but, they are just dragging you into their web and may turn out that they have no – or little – knowledge of your interests whatsoever other than what they gain from you, and are just using the subject as a bait to suck you in blah blah

This must not necessarily be for financial interest, but just to gain power and control over yourself - and possibly others at the same time – up to the point that they are exposed as empty shells. grin

Singing Words Of Wisdom...

Often, when trying to express a point, one reverts to the wisdom of ancient philosophers.

I have recently, however, come across a quote by the late great Leonard Cohen:

“If you don´t become the ocean, you´ll be seasick every day”

In fact, we are not a “drop” in the ocean – We ARE the ocean.
We are all droplets disconnected from the ocean... infinite awareness, knowledge and wisdom.

It´s difficult to realise this, if you can only see it full of sharks. uh oh hmmm

Something for us all to ponder over.
smile batting daisy
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Emotional Baggage or Life Experiences?

Emotional Baggage are negative emotions that we should try not to carry over onto the next relationship, whereas experiences are memories, things that we have lived, that we have learned and what makes us strong.

We all have emotional baggage to some extent - Some of us have 3 suitcases of heavy things, while others have just a tiny bag… Everyone has them!

Sometimes we feel as if we were carrying a lifetime’s heaviness of sorrows, pain and anger towards what happened in the past.

Those memories and emotions influence what we seek and draw to our life and the way we interact with people.

We can’t change our past. There is no future in the past anyway.

What we can do is to define our sorrows about the past now, release the pain, cut the emotional cords and clear the space for the brighter things that life has in store for us. dancing

"Today is only Yesterday´s Memory,
and Tomorrow´s just Today´s dream............. The Moment is NOW!"
banana peace cheering yay teddybear
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Your Place In The World

Ever noticed that you’re stuck in your ways when it comes to seating preferences?
Do you always sit in the same place when you enter a conference room, or attend a public event..?
uh oh

Take the wolf pack, for example, and the survival instinct; wolves have to dig themselves a hole to sleep in and they will defend their territory for dear life.

Dogs, on the other hand, need to be allocated their own space by their leader, or they will choose your sofa or bed, knowing that it is YOUR place, and you´re not claiming it.

As for humans, from our childhood, we chose our seat within the family circle and in a classroom, or were allocated a seat, regardless of our preferences, and reluctantly accepted it. grin

The question is: did we feel happy in that seat and, did it affect our mood and ability to learn? dunno

In my childhood, for example, our teacher used to send the “naughty” kids at the back of the class, away from all other kids, - which for me was pretty often! - and, instead of feeling “punished”, I enjoyed every minute of it.
During the subjects that I hated most (history for example), I used my creative skills – drawing, sketching – which soon came to my teacher´s notice. She then put me at the front of the class where she could keep an eye on me. Now... this was a real punishment for me! hole

In case of classrooms, always choosing the same spot allows students to effectively regulate and control their relationships with – not only their fellow students, in a shared space, but also their teacher - and which makes them feel more comfortable and less vulnerable.

It has been observed that most students choose the same seat over and over when given the choice and, if students can’t “personalize their space and defend it against the invasion of other users when they are absent,” they still sat in the same positions, but some variation also depends on classroom layout.

When I started my teaching career and was teaching classes of about 20 students, I found that the same patterns occurred. At first, they were given free choices about their seating arrangement.
Then, after they had established their preferences and their comfort zone, I disrupted the routine and decided to allocate them another seat – giving them explanations why doing so, of course!
Then, what happened? They suddenly felt completely lost! During the following sessions, I continued this procedure, but allocating different positions until, on entering the room, they asked where they should sit, to which I replied: “anywhere you wish”. They then seemed confused and unable to make a choice.

When attending conferences or lectures where many people attend, where do you sit, and why?
Please give reasons....

Are you still choosing the same place as you always have?

Or.... are you one of those who would prefer not to be there at all? conversing hmmm

As for myself, I do prefer to sit near the front so I can hear better, and at the end of a row so I can have freedom of movement and make a quick escape if necessary. smile gotta go
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Quality Over Quantity

As far as Relationships are concerned, what do you prefer:

To have many meaningless friends/acquaintances, or.... only a few good friends who are there for you when you need someone to confide into and to whom you can tell your deepest secrets? dunno

Maintaining relationships requires time, attention and energy and each of us only has so much to give. Obviously, there is a limit to how many relationships we can manage well.

But, what is the limit? And how do we go about enforcing it?

Do we prioritize and allocate time to some special people?

If we focus on quality relationships, rather than quantity, it is not about closing ourselves off to new people, but about recognizing our limitations, learning to let go of what doesn’t serve us, and nurturing what we have.

In conclusion, make room in your life for the people who encourage and support you, inspire you and enrich your life, rather than those who only drag you back and hinder you in your personal and spiritual growth.
dance cheering

What about virtual friends/acquaintances?

Do you chat with only one at the time so that you can focus on that particular person, or....
Can you manage several at the same time, each for a different purpose? dunno

Some of my favourites:

"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself"

"Friends are like Flowers in the Garden of Life and they need to be nurtured, cared for and tended to"

teddybear heart wings teddybear

Using All Your Senses... And More?

When communicating with someone at distance for the first time...

Which of your senses do you use most, and what way does that impress you to form an opinion about that person for a potential friendship or whatever?

Written form (via emails, text messages)

Audio (verbal messages, phone calls)

Visual (photos, skype - with the observation of the body language)

6th sense? (intuition, feeling..)


When meeting up close and personal, which senses do you use most?

In the Animal Kingdom, some specific senses are used, according to the type of animal.
With predators (dogs, lions etc.) the sense of smell is the most developed.
As for birds of prey, it is the sight.

With prey animals (horses etc...), it is their eyesight and hearing (usually the collective one of the herd) that they rely on the most in order to see or sense danger at distance, and also to find suitable food.

The herd instinct also applies to humans. If it appears on social media, the senses are often ignored, along with common sense, and it is believed and repeated in a chain reaction

Discuss at your heart´s content. conversing hmmm writing daisy
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Can someone post this beautiful song for me please?

Dedicated to ALL Irish People, wherever they are...

teddybear danceline danceline teddybear
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How many times have you heard the question:
"Would you rather be RIGHT, or HAPPY?"
Ideally, most would say “I want both!” dancing smile

Being "RIGHT" is what the Ego wants, thereby making everything and everyone else "WRONG".
In other words, it is simply engaging in black and white thinking. dunno

Looking at it from a psychological point of view, "RIGHT vs. HAPPY" isn´t so much about who ends up being the winner or loser, but more about the desire to feel like in control. snooty

A typical example can be seen on controversial blogs where reasonable peaceful debates cannot be achieved. It always ends up with a fight to the death where no one will give up!

However, It is sometimes necessary to allow things to "hurt us more, but bother us less."

Why would we want to choose "hurt?"
Well, if we are letting go of being right, hurt might mean that we have to grieve. Maybe it's grieving the idea that we have lost control and are facing our vulnerability

However, when we start looking at the situation from a higher perspective, the loss no longer has such a tight grip. We can then let go and open up to new ideas and experiences.
Once this occurs, we are certainly "bothered less” and can move on to the “happiness” state of the emotional scale.

Now, how do we define HAPPY in this context?
This is not about winning the lotto, or getting people to do what we want them to do. Those are external things that we can't control.
It is about “acceptance” and “contentment”.

At the end of the day, it might not be as flashy as winning the lottery, but..... it is certainly much more attainable and sustainable! peace dancing teddybear
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My New Interest: Hairy Babies (Not Cry Babies!)

The more experience I have with the human race, the more I love four-legged creatures.

Apart from the horses - and dogs & cats, of course! - I have a great affinity for orangutans and gorillas as they are more human like, but have less negative characters.

I have therefore made a decision to volunteer to work for a few months with baby gorillas and orangutans and give them all the love and care that they are lacking until they can be released into their natural habitat.

On my return I shall be looking for a ghost writer to convert my many notes into a book.
Would "Jungle Woman" be a suitable title?
writing daisy

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All Good Things Come To An End


For many years now, I have noticed something which seems to be a phenomenon:
that is, when visiting supermarkets and I am attracted to and start purchasing a specific product, up first, because of the demand, stocks are limited, and sometimes only available on delivery days.
This situation continues for some while and then, suddenly, for some unknown reason, the suppliers withdraw the product.

This phenomenon appears to be European wise because the product is not available anywhere!

The same applies to nearly all products I take a fancy of.
My question: Am I being spied upon? Am I not voting for the correct political party?confused

A theory that comes to mind is that father Xmas is buying all those products to give out at Xmas?santa waving

This also applies to apps. At first, user-friendly, no degree in rocket science required and then, as soon as a user base is established, bang! Off they go!
Constant updates required and added complications. frustrated

Am I getting senile or... is life really becoming more complicated?grin

NOW...I've just read that some of our old bloggers are leaving???wow

Are they also going to be replaced for inferior products?confused
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The Times They Are A-Changing

For many years now the Spanish have been criticised for their ill-treatment of animals (bullfighting, circuses etc.) and the official answer to this has always been: "It´s our tradition and our culture". scold

However, one part of Spain (Catalonia) has banned bullfighting, and now protests against it have started in other parts of Spain. peace

Perhaps now the age of enlightenment has finally reached Spain?
thumbs up angel2
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Back Burners

“Back burners are people we are interested in (romantically/sexually), who we are not currently involved with, and with whom we keep in contact in the possibility that we might someday connect romantically and/or sexually"

"People can have back burners even if they’re already in a romantic relationship with someone else. Also, a former romantic and/or s*xual partner can still count as a back burner so long as we still desire a romantic and/or s*xual connection with them.”
However, the level of communication is most likely platonic.
In other words, just because they have back burners does not mean they have plans to leave their current relationship.

Keeping options open
According to research, it is suggested that many people keep back burners with whom they communicate electronically, even when they’re already committed to someone else!

When it comes to 'commitment', flirting is as far as the other person will go and, when they're around you, they'll flirt to the moon and back. They'll even add in some serious moves but, that's about it!
Communication is somewhat erratic and periodic and exists mostly via gadgets (messengers, texts, emails etc.), but these are also inconsistent and subject to conditions, which means they take place mostly when the other person is free and has no one to entertain them and maybe bored.

So, what´s the solution?
Making ourselves “too available” could be a curse or a blessing. If people notice that we are ready to drop anything at the drop of a hat in order to be available for them, we are more likely to be used.

In this case, why not try to make an agenda for ourselves of things we need to get done?
If we don´t have anything, then we could make excuses. This may be against some people´s morals because it’s technically lying but, we should ask ourselves: do we really want to tend to the needs of others at the moment? hmmm uh oh

Do you have back burners?

Do you feel you are someone´s back burner?

Discuss to your heart´s content conversing daisy teddybear

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