The Problems With Reading

During my teacher training courses (Teaching of English as a Foreign Language) in Germany, we were taught how to make students aware of the different reading techniques, and the importance of appropriately using them, especially under exam conditions when such time constraints exist and decisions must be made quickly.

Nowadays, with the present internet facilities, reading skills seem to have deteriorated as one tends to concentrate on the operating procedure, rather than the content on the screen.
Interestingly, research has concluded that reading off a computer screen actually inhibits the pathways to effective scanning and thus, reading off paper is far more conducive to speedy comprehension of texts.

I myself have noticed this phenomenon since I started using a computer (10 years now). For example, when reading or writing text on a computer, I don´t notice mistakes as easily as I would reading hard copy.

This is apparent on blogs when texts are misunderstood, resulting in comments being completely off topic, commonly known as following a "red herring".
Even more so - and even hilarious - is the situation which arises when the first person to comment on a blog has misunderstood, or followed a red herring in the text of a blog, then subsequently others comment on the first comment and so on...without even reading the original text.

Short definition of the four main reading skills:

Gist reading - reading quickly for a general idea. Used mainly for reading newspapers, magazines, emails... Comprehension is of course very low, and understanding of overall content very superficial, often resulting in messages being misunderstood or misinterpreted.

Used to find some specific information. Also, particular attention should be paid to the introduction and conclusion of a text.

Intensive Reading
One´s aim should be clear from the outset when undertaking intensive reading, and it should be remembered that it is far more time consuming than scanning or skimming. Moreover, long term memory is being formed, so... get it right!

Extensive reading
It involves reading for pleasure. It also requires a fluid decoding and assimilation of the text and content read. If the text is found difficult, necessitating pauses to digest information, or to look up new words in the dictionary, concentration is broken and thoughts become diverted.

For readers who have got this far, red herrings don´t bite! So, feel free to comment. writing

Happy Reading - in the manner of your choice!
dancing dog cheering teddybear
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A Few "Wilde" Quotes Of Wisdom

I´d like to share some favourites of mine and see how they resonate with you?

1. "To love oneself if the beginning of a lifelong romance"

Popular wisdom tells us that without sufficient self-love, we are not capable of truly loving others.
How do you feel about this?

2. "The best way to resist temptation is to give in to it"

Can anyone resist temptation? grin

3. "You don´t love someone for their looks, their clothes, or their money but..... because they sing a song only YOU can hear"

I can relate to this 100%, What about you?

4. "Humanity has taken itself too seriously. It is the world´s original sin.
If the cave man had known how to laugh, history would have been different"

I´d like to hear your views on this? writing

And the last one for today....
5. "Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys then so much"

Do you?

Please feel free to add....teddybear teddybear teddybear
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TRANSFERENCE/Emotional Projection

In every day life the games that people play are very noticeable and they are driven by a subconscious agenda (our shadows) gleaned from our childhood traumas.
In the virtual world, where one is freed from personal contact, it is even more apparent. Individuals are inclined to download their personal problems onto someone else (transference).


“Transference is a psychological phenomenon in which an individual directs emotions and feelings, often unconsciously, from one to another. This process may occur in therapy, when a person receiving treatment applies feelings toward—or expectations of—another person onto the therapist, and then begins to interact with the therapist as if the therapist were the other individual”.

I have myself witnessed this, on occasions, when working with a patient.

Transference can also occur in various situations outside of therapy and may form the basis for certain relationship patterns in everyday life, such as:

Paternal transference, when an individual looks at another person as a father or an idealized father figure. The person may be viewed as powerful, wise, and authoritative, and an individual may expect protection and sound advice from this person.”

Maternal transference occurs when an individual treats another person as a mother or idealized mother figure. This person is often viewed as loving and influential, and nurture and comfort is often expected from them”.

For example, a man can resent – or even hate - women, for some reason, because they remind him of the problems he had/has with his mother and he hasn´t healed the mother wound, and vice versa with women and their father wound.

Also, an individual begins to mistrust a romantic partner simply because a previous partner cheated.

Transference may be positive or negative..(our dark & light shadows)

For everybody, all the above, has a very strong influence on our lives and those we attract or repel. We might idealise or demonise certain individuals.

Positive transference is often the base of our attraction to a partner but, that alone, can often lead to disastrous results if the individual doesn´t live up to our preconceived expectations.

In the case of negative transference, we attract certain qualities or situations that remind us of our deepest wounds and childhood traumas. This is the common reason why some people continually attract or are drawn to the same type of person who reflect those unhealed childhood issues.

Another typical scenario: those who reflect their unresolved issues with their ex (anger, resentment etc.) into a new relationship. (I myself have lost some "friends" because I was compared with their ex, when I was in fact doing them a favour!)

Is transference all bad?
No, it is in fact necessary at times in order to draw attention to and clear up our old blockages.
It is our desire to heal and to get closure.

Foot Note: The above is a very complicated subject. However, as a dog owner, I see every day a simpler manifestation in the way my dog relates to others. Often, very small dogs act very aggressively towards mine, reflecting all the problems they have had in the past with larger dogs (insecurity, nervousness, etc).
As for mine, he is friendly with most while he ignores the aggressive ones.
Contrary to this, meeting a dog his size or larger, including other male dogs, he will be friendly unless challenged.

The same sort of behaviour can be seen with the horses I work with.
In recent times Equine therapy has become more and more popular to help people work with their issues, as horses act as mirrors. (transference).

Wishing You All A Nice Day!

dancing teddybear
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My New Interest: Hairy Babies (Not Cry Babies!)

The more experience I have with the human race, the more I love four-legged creatures.

Apart from the horses - and dogs & cats, of course! - I have a great affinity for orangutans and gorillas as they are more human like, but have less negative characters.

I have therefore made a decision to volunteer to work for a few months with baby gorillas and orangutans and give them all the love and care that they are lacking until they can be released into their natural habitat.

On my return I shall be looking for a ghost writer to convert my many notes into a book.
Would "Jungle Woman" be a suitable title?
writing daisy

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Blind Date - Love At No Sight

Is Love blind?

How would you feel meeting someone for the first time, but blindfolded?

Getting to know people is hard enough, but getting to know people while blindfolded? It might be easier than you think.

We’re such visual creatures, of all the senses, taking away vision is the most disorienting, because it´s where we get most of our conscious information. But it forces you to tune into other stimuli.

The key is trusting our gut. That’s the unconscious telling us what we’re most compatible with. A lot of times, people don’t follow their gut, they follow who they "think" they should be with, but it doesn’t necessarily correspond to whom we’d be most compatible with.

It takes away a lot of your power, being able to suss out your environment, So you’re clearing the deck of preconceived judgments, allowing the person to focus on the sound of your voice, what they feel like, smell like, etc.

First is the sound, to get to know each other by talking, listening to the timbre of each other’s voices and seeing if they were audibly attracted to one another.

Then is the touch, inspired by studies revealing that mutual touch can be linked to elevated heart rates and, of course, intimacy in general. You are encouraged to explore each others faces, hair—whatever you feel comfortable with, really.

The taste, feeding each other foods known to be aphrodisiacs—including basil, bananas, donuts.

The smell, smell each other from neck to armpit. Women, apparently, can gauge genetic compatibility just from taking a whiff of a shirt worn by a man for two nights.

Then movement, where the couple dance to different rhythms to gauge not only if they have rhythm, but also compatible rhythm.

Finally, at the end, remove blindfolds and make eye contact for a couple minutes, based on a study that found that strangers who made unbroken eye contact with the opposite sex reported “increased feelings of passionate love” for one another.

Has anybody ever tried it?

If not, would you like to try it?

smitten love heart wings

Singing Words Of Wisdom...

Often, when trying to express a point, one reverts to the wisdom of ancient philosophers.

I have recently, however, come across a quote by the late great Leonard Cohen:

“If you don´t become the ocean, you´ll be seasick every day”

In fact, we are not a “drop” in the ocean – We ARE the ocean.
We are all droplets disconnected from the ocean... infinite awareness, knowledge and wisdom.

It´s difficult to realise this, if you can only see it full of sharks. uh oh hmmm

Something for us all to ponder over.
smile batting daisy
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Unusual Animal Friendships

I was inspired to write this blog as I was watching my dog (Dalmatian/Staffie) who has been friendly with a little pony since he was a pup, when I started to work at the equine centre where I am now.

Every week when I arrive there, they start greeting each other by rubbing noses and grooming each other and also drinking out of the same bucket.
As for the other horses, they also accept him there.

There´s something really special about interspecies animal friendships. Perhaps because they demonstrate that, if animals can put aside their differences, there´s no reason we humans can´t do the same.

An interspecies friendship is a bond that is formed between animals of different species.
Domestication of animals has led to very unusual interspecies friendships between two (or more) species that would naturally never exist together otherwise, such as between mammals, birds, reptiles and combinations of these and include those not known to get along like predators and animals of prey.

Human beings, on the other hand, think too much. If only we’d listen to our hearts instead of our heads, things would often go so much better. This is because the heart is never wrong. It never steers us down the path of war or conflict. It steers us toward love, kindness, affection and trust.
Having heard so many stories, and also seen such friendships with my own eyes, I believe this is what interspecies animal friendships are all about.
The cat listens to its heart, which tells it that a mouse can be its companion instead of its lunch.

Really worth watching!

Do you know of any you would like to share?
smitten love teddybear
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Do Men Like Women On Top?

And, do Women prefer Men on top? dunno

NO, this blog is NOT about sex scold

It´s about POWER and CONTROL professor

As we all know, Women in positions of power hold an occupation that gives them great authority and influence.
But, Sex is also Power, right?

Take for example in these movies: “Disclosure” where the man (Michael Douglas) is sexually manipulated by a woman (Demi Moore) and she accuses him of s*xual abuse in order to get him fired and take over his job. And also “Fatal Attraction”, and “Basic Instinct”, where sex is used for emotional manipulation.
It looks as if Michael Douglas is easily caught in this power game? wink

Is s*xual harassment about power? Well, it can be exchanged for something of value, as Women have the power to use their sexuality to get what they want and also earn a living.

In a relationship, women are usually the ones who decide When, Where and How often. Do men really prefer a woman who takes the lead? dunno

Of course, there was a time when women had no s*xual power whatsoever and the thought of them enjoying sex was virtually unimaginable. But now, they have become more sexually demanding than ever before – even men are trying harder than ever to please their women.

From a young age, little girls learn to use the power of seduction to get what they want. It begins with Daddy. They manipulate their fathers into buying whatever – I did that too! wink

To conclude, the power of seduction is part of woman´s instinct, and consequently, this power leads to the power of sex.

What do you think? typing writing conversing
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Friendships With A Deadline

Doomed to fail! “All good things come to an end” – do they really have to? hmmm

A few people on this site have inspired me to write this blog and I can´t help sitting and wondering why, when you start getting acquainted with someone you like and start developing some friendship, why asking how long it´s going to last? confused

Why can´t people just relax and enjoy the moment, as it is.... in that perfect moment... in that perfect place and go with the flow?

When Fear starts getting in the way, Love cannot exist and many will start pushing their self destruct button, as it always feels better to leave someone before they leave you.
Is it a Fear of Failure?... Success?.... Abandonment/Rejection?... or just Insecurity?dunno

As it is known - and I believe: When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty… To provide you with guidance and support… To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually… They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are. Then, for some reason, the relationship will come to an end. Sometimes they die… Sometimes they walk away… Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. Their work is done and now it is time to move on.

Some others will come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is REAL, but only for a season.

But, there are also those who are in your life for a LIFETIME. Your job is to accept the lessons they bring, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” (Rumi)

teddybear teddybear teddybear

Intelligence of Cows and Leadership

Although most humans don’t think of cows as intelligent, they truly are. Almost any animal is as intelligent as it needs to be to survive in nature, but domesticated animals are different. Through the process of domesticating them, we’ve bred them to serve our needs, and thus altered and sometimes eradicated abilities that would help them survive in the wild.
But cows have retained more intelligence and sophistication than we commonly believe they possess, and nowhere is that more apparent than their methods of choosing their leaders. Same applies to horses, of course!

A researcher at the national institute of agricultural research in France, studied a group of grazing heifers and discovered some amazingly wise traits in cows.
In the cow world, (or equine world) bullies don’t win the ultimate prize because domination does not equate success. The strongest animal does not become the leader of the herd. In fact, the leader is usually the oldest animal. This indicates that choice of the herd leader is based on the fact that the lead cow has accrued the most experience in being a cow.

In his research, a study was conducted with a group of cows from the same farm that had been grazing together since they were young. Almost 50% of the time, one cow would lead the rest to a new feeding site. This one cow was also observed more frequently than the group average as being the very first animal in general grazing activities.
The French Researcher explained that "it's adaptive to the animals to follow successful leaders, as this will improve their own food research success."

In the bovine hierarchy, better social skills, experience, assurance, curiosity and smarts are more desirable than selfishness, bulk and brute strength.
To put it more succinctly, in a cow’s world, brains win over brawn, every time.

We humans could learn a great deal from cows…if only we didn’t find them so “bovine.”
banana peace

Source: Applied Animal Behaviour Science
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Spain - Life In A Parallel Universe

Although I had learned sufficient Spanish to get by before coming to Spain, I soon discovered that there was more to it than meets the eye. nerd

In the first week, I found that there was a standard solution to every problem, that being: ”No pasa nada!” (it doesn´t really matter). uh oh

In the following weeks, I realised that time and space is a complete different concept, here in Spain, than in the rest of the known universe.
E.g. When looking for a property to buy, the estate agents would always inform me that it was “near” the beach (less than 500m). But it would turn out to be 20 minutes hard walk – more like 2 kilometres, prompting me to ask “How many metres are there in a Spanish kilometre?” confused

In their glossy brochures they also wrote that the property had a sea view, but soon found out that the only sea view it had was from the bathroom window, when standing on the loo, with a pair of binoculars! But.... NO PASA NADA! roll eyes

TIME? It appears that a Spanish hour has a great deal more than 60mn. At first I couldn´t understand why I was always punctual to my appointments, while I had to wait at least 20 to 30mn for the person to arrive??? yawn

While on the subject of time.... “mañana” (tomorrow) is not as you may think, the day after today, but a day some time in the future. I soon found out the hard way when waiting for a tradesman, even for emergencies.
Hasta mañana.... (till we meet again!)

As for “la semana que viene” (literally translated: the coming week, meaning next week), well... that week never seems to come! One must be sure to ask what year or century, or even if it is likely to be within my life time?
But... NO PASA NADA! grin

I would now like to share with you a story about a recent event. Paco, my Spanish neighbour had a tree in his garden which had been planted very close to the boundary wall. Over time it had grown to 12 metres or more and was now damaging the wall, which I had complained to him on many occasions, to which he always replied “no pasa nada!”.

A few months ago we had a storm and I was woken up in the early hours of the morning by a repeated crashing sound. Looking out, I saw the tree was leaning precariously and was taken the wall with it.
I went to see Paco who was unhappy for being disturbed and told him about the tree but, his only comment was “NO PASA NADA!” and went back into the house ignoring the situation. shock

I therefore had to phone the fire brigade who came with several police officers and got Paco out of bed to access his garden.
Not being insured, Paco had decided to repair the wall himself, although he has no building experience, but...NO PASA NADA!
Apparently, spirit levels have not been discovered in Spain yet, because the wall appears as if it has been erected by a dolphin swimming rapidly and it makes you seasick looking at it.
However...NO PASA NADA! scold

At the end of the day... As Queen so elegantly put it “ No, nothing really matters... to me!”

“After all, tomorrow is another day” dancing

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How Bored Are You?

You tell me you are bored and there´s nothing going on...?uh oh

Well, I´ve got news for you... There is never nothing going on! scold

We’ve all experienced boredom at times to varying degrees. The truth of the matter is: even in those most boring moments, there is too much going on for us to comprehend.

Next time you find yourself bored, take the time to consider that....
In a “Nothing happening” situation, something which we should all be aware of, at any moment, your very existence is in peril.

Do you realise that You are standing on a piece of rock (planet Earth) that is rotating at supersonic speed and, at the same time, orbiting a star at the average speed of 186,000 miles an hour.
There are many other objects in a similar orbit which could crash into planet earth at any moment, resulting in us all experiencing the dinosaur effect?
Additionally, the planet has thousands of cubic kilometres of water which could slosh about and drown us all and the fore mentioned star, which we are orbiting, is inherently unstable and could kill us all any moment.

Wow...What a boring day! playball hole yawn

That having been said, one should take time to consider the beauty that surrounds you and appreciate it while you are able.
boogie bowing daisy cheering smitten
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