Boss is being cool. I’m being invisible. I’m embarrassed that I was friendly after he clearly was disappointed about my age. A saving grace. Loolllol. So now I try to avoid unless I have a work question. It’s a tough spot. Regardless, I will be successful, my way of giving the finger.
Yesterday I agreed to meet my customers on my day off. After I realized that I might only have enough fuel for work. I was racked with worry. Two weeks ago I wrote a bad check to a business because they give cash back. So, I find the home drug test that I didn’t use after reading the instructions about sending the sample. Now, what does home testing mean?
Fortunately, I could redeem at the gas pumps! Yay! But, I also needed dog food. That’s when I gambled with the collection company and float time. Strangely enough, they accepted my check written for 20 dollars over. I immediately skipped off to purchase a decent Cabernet.
Flash forward to the evening’s antics. One of them being a new co-worker who asked me my opinion on his business card. This morning he wanted me to read what I texted. I refused. lol haha hehe.
Very cringe worthy. lol
From handing the keys over to a beautiful Chevy Silverado. Im over the moon. I came in in my day off but it was so worth it. I love my job. I cant remember the last time i said that. Its funny how it took me 30 years to find something im really in to.
As for the boss, he’s cooled off after the 9 year gap was revealed. Lol. I’ll not let that bump in the road slow me down.
This is all new to me. As i mentioned, i sold a truck to a retired man. I agreed to have a coffee with my client. In other news, my manager wanted to have dinner until he learned im 9 years his senior. Things are a bit awkward. I really love my job and dont want to screw things up. Its so weird that when i was younger, nobody was interested. Now that im freaking old, i got offers out the yin yang. Why cant life be simple? Im so confused.
Being hit on by an old retired man who wanted me to quit my job and keep him company. Like, hello? I’m here to sell cars for commission that is something I don’t get playing chit chat. Do us sales people a favor and don’t d*ck us around. lol.
I don’t understand people who don’t give a shit about survival.
I’m a bit frustrated that I had to bite my tongue and smile knowing I lost 3 hours of opportunity.
I will do better next time.
So, with my rash decision to quit the last job and the interim of 2 month’s lack of wages, i rely on the smart phone. No wifi for 2 weeks. Thats no ASMR for sleep along with movies til i drop. Days away from no electricity or gas makes this existance close to the pioneers of yore. On the upside, the management have high hopes of my ability and i believe a sale is near. Just over there. Can you see it? I guess im a risk taker. An adrenaline junky in the finencial sense. Learning lots and having fun. Jeez, when was the last time i had that? Im getting along good with the established sales troop and have acquired a degree of respect. Since we’re all sharks, that’s a positive. Im 54 but a short skirt and long blonde hair does go a long way. Lol. What else have i got to lose? Not much. I’m pretty sure i’ll have my first sale tomorrow. 99 more and i’ll earn a ring. Should i choise white or yellow gold? You pick!
I’m learning all about people and sales. I went on a joyride In the backseat of a SS Camaro, unfortunately. The youngsters simply wanted to play with a toy. Since my associate was of a large size, I was nominated to chaperone. After pulling my pencil skirt up, I squeezed into the back seat. Windows down, Blonde hair flying, I crossed my chest as if I was Catholic. The driver manipulated the stick in a manner that didn’t sound good. I am inexperienced in the sound of a manual transmission but my gut was telling me, things could sound better. The youthful driver gunned that machine and then almost kissed the freaking bumper of the car in front. I said many “Jesus Christ’s “ but they could not be heard over the revving. The second passenger, of the same youth went on about the V8. This rang a bell and I asked if they had seen Mad Max. With my best Australian accent I shouted “the last of the V8’s!” Good old Ducky.
Got nice feedback from the higher uppers. Was told they heard "great things" about me. I'm fearless at talking to people and will chat up people until they love me. Lol. I'm not pretending to know it all. My gimmick is to be as amazed as the buyer, because I am. I tell my customers how the advances in autos would have made my life easier. If course, I put a silly spin on things. Laugh at me, I don't care. I'm the most honest salesperson you'll ever meet.
I almost got 2 sales. I know, almost, but it was fun! My coworkers said I did a good job and getting to know people's stories are an interesting side to this meal. I drove 2 big trucks and keep learning stuff. Automobiles are fascinating to me. I don't know why I didn't try this sooner.
My manager really believes in me. I feel an obligation to deliver. Keep in mind, I know absolutely nothing about automobile except, they are a method to obtain freedom. I feel as if I stepped off my spaceship and integrated into the earthling environment. I am studying what engines exist and all of these technologies that are standard. oh lordy, one can be a real space cadet to drive these days. These new cars can do the thinking for you. Who cares about deer running in front. Oh, yes, in these parts, a deer can be a real threat. So this "daddy's girl" is starting from square one. I might as well be an alien. It's all news for me. All, very interesting and exciting
My daughter hates me. I left a Easter message. Last message in January. I'm not a great mom. I'm not a great person. I'm just a person trying to survive.
I'm conflicted about the idea of getting emotionally involved with at man. There are sacrifices that must be made when one becomes half of a unit. Looking back, I realize that with every partnering, I've had to give up a part of myself. Sure, I just haven't met "the right one", but how many times must I fail?
I have always compartmentalized things to keep things simpler. Two FB pages. Many CS accounts. The work me and the home me. Just so family and co-workers are safe from my real thoughts, the ones that make people uncomfortable. To allow a partner to know all of me is a frightening thought.
So, my conflict is with loneliness and freedom from worry of those I become attached to. Then there's the investment of time and emotions that make me want to continue with relationship that clearly wasn't working.
So, today, I'm on the fence for trying it again. Im prepared to climb off the fence but the fear is overwhelming. Sometimes I'm certain I'm not cut out for it. Then, the selfish, lonely me wants to give it a try.
Conflicted
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