Baffled

I cannot believe this is real.
I bought family Christmas presents obviously paying vat, tva in france, posted said presents to the UK again paying more tax. Now find out that they won't deliver the parcel until yet more tax has been paid in the UK. So basically paying 3 lots of tax on Christmas presents and yes there is nothing I can do about it very mad
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Fun

Told my kids I never want to live in a vegative state
So they unplugged my computer and threw out my wine.rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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2022

Remember having sex on a regular basis helps keep your memory alive
So I wish everyone a great 2016
laugh
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Winter

This morning when I got up I felt a little brrr round my nether regions, yes time to wear a dressing gown, but that got me thinking about things to enjoy whilst it turns colder outside.
Dont have to shave my legs as often, I can now wait until they start poking outside my tights and glinting in the Sun.
I don't have to blow dry my hair I can just plait it or stick a hat on.
Don't need to paint my toe nails no one can see them in boots plus no more funny looks at my feet, yes I've no big toe nails so only have four painted nails on each foot.
I can eat real food and stop being a rabbit.
What do you look forward to.
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Just venting

The saga of the watch and lies.
My watch needed a new battery simple you think but no, because its used for diving (which I haven't done for years) it has to go back to the Swiss watch maker for not only a new battery but for new seals and testing that if doesn't leak at depth. No surprise there as this happens approximately every six years.
Now the fun starts, it'll be 4 weeks, hmmm that's a little longer than usual, but go with the flow. After 6 weeks I ring for where is it. To be told well I don't know who told you 4 weeks, well you did as your the only person In the shop who speaks english, yes I do speak French which he'd told me was very good, but he insisted on english now that threw him and he'd find out and ring me back.. A week later he rang to say the watch maker had just come back from 4 weeks holiday ???? They've had it for 7 and he says they haven't the parts.
So in my mind now there is only one watch maker in Europe and the place where this, not rare watch was manufactured does not have the spare parts it knows if will need.
Today he rings to say its ready and cannot understand why I just started laughing. Yes in the space of a week its come back from Switzerland, New battery and tested. REALLY.
What springs to mind is lier Lier pants on fire. How to translate that one.
Vent over rolling on the floor laughing
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Almost

I almost had a I need a man moment.

But then I was able to get the cork out of the bottle myself banana
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Singles

Tonigh is the night for my once a year singles bbq.
I started this as however kind couples are inviting you out with them to restaurants, dinner parties etc I always feel like a spare prick at a whores party or if you so much as general chat with someones partner omg your accussed of alsorts.so in my wisdom a group of us singles, divorced or widowed get together at my place, no not for dating, but to generally let our hair down and do what we want without any tutting. Going by last year's, yes I vagually remember it it'll be an interesting do.
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Solar lights

For the last 5-6 years I've used solar lights in the garden with no problems at all, but this year is omg give me a break. During confinement I have totally renovated the outside eating area, got rid of the pool leaked very very badly, New decking etc and a new area for a spa. Lovely even if I say so myself. Up went the solar lights and I was happy. TwoWeeks later two lots weren't working so down they came and fresh up. One week later one lot not working, so I left them for two weeks thinking a miracle might happen and I might see the light, fat chance of that happening. So I bought proper plug in garland lights, on the pack it says 8 meters long, so up the ladder I go, ssh I'm banned from ladders, down come the solar and up goes the plug in. Now the swearing starts as the 8 meter long consists of 4 meters of lights and 4 of wire, down they come. Up goes another set of plug in, really, supposed to be 8 meters and these are 10, bear in mind that all i really need are 6. What really really p....d me off is id dumped the solar lights in the cabin while I put up the others and what happens they're only now working.
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Sweets

Well that was a surprise, in England they sell sweets next to the checkouts, I've just been to my local pharmacy and what have they on promotion next to the checkout.. CBD oil.laugh
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Finally

I decided due to lockdown to order the new filters for the spa on line. Big mistake. I've had 36 emails from the company, yes its coming today, no its not, and reschedual delivery. After 30 emails my patience ran out and so I cancelled it, three times I've cancelled it, 6 more emails from them and boom it has arrived. What really gets me is the shop opens in 36 hours and I can go and get them myself.sigh
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Happy New year hmmmm

To start happy New year to all.
My new year morning started exactly the same as every other morning, half asleep kettle on, feed the cats to shut them up and testing bloods, nothing different. With my first cup of tea I plonk my Arse on the sofa and before the cup can touch my lips all hell breaks loose. I feel a slight movement on my shoulder and hair and flicked my hair of my shoulder and heard a delicate thump and scratching omg a mouse somehow it had slipped onto my shoulder when I sat down. Now the fun and games began trying to catch it, round and round the sofas and chairs until it leapt into a slightly open drawer. Gotcha. No it then starts running between the drawers as everything is tossed out of them. I will not be beaten so the front door is flung open and the chest of drawers put out on the step, yes its cold what does the mouse do, it plays peeppo with me. I'm pleased so say after about an hour it decided to live ourside and not in the drawers.
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Essentials

Most of us have different ideas on what is essential. At the moment only essential shops are open, in the super market aisles are taped off, toys and underwear but you can buy elastic, probably incase of the elastic going in your old knickers, you can buy chocolates lots and lots of chocolates so you can out grow your old knickers, then I noticed the florist was open. So now I can walk round knickerless with a flower stuck up my bum whilst stuffing my face with chocolate.rolling on the floor laughing
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