Sometimes things can never be worked out no matter how hard or long we talk and try to reason with the fates of life. While others had,have so many incredible troubles in their Marriage the type my wife and I had were unique. My wife died in my arms from Cancer. The end of a wonderful marriage. As she lay dying at All Saints Baylor Med. I reminded her of my vow to be with her in sickness and in health. Till' death do we part. I was there holding her for all I was worth as her life left her.
After I laid her to rest ,a very large part of me went with her. Another part of me struggles inward and onward.
When I first married I was a young man at 26. When she left me I was 61. 61 years old and completely ignorant as to what to do in this great big world. How to deal with Linda's passing and start all over again.
How does one start all over again what one can never have ever again ? Linda's gone and the plain old fact is now I'm left with my Shep. ,home and all the things we had planned and built together for over 35 years together in marriage.
Young enough to live out my life with another and perhaps father new children into this world. 61 yes but, strong, attractive,virile, healthy, clean and intelligent yet, as I look around me, few women have come to me to attempt a relationship.
So therefore perhaps what must be will be and I'm destined to continue on until I die alone.
As far as marriage goes, our marriage was a deep personal bond . One I feel to always honor and adore. A special gift we shared for 35 years. So how can a sole survivor of a marriage, any marriage fully commit to another in such a Holy Re-union again ?
The best I can ever hope for is a deep personal lasting one on one relationship for the future. If a new Marriage is there for me then so be it. Likely I'll have no more control over that event than I had over the passing of Linda. God does move in mysterious ways. He took her to be with him and perhaps he'll send another wonderful woman into my life again.
Tom Diamond
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