Here I sit gaze upon screen lists of names oh what does it mean
Files upon files a conumdrem of past where answers lay within and my roots are cast.
Generations of family from decades bygone I need a spark for my search to go on.
Trawling the libraries looking at books grained old photos every avenue every nook
For evidence of fact a familiar place as a sleuth like detective follows up a trace.
And then the break it makes my day long lost relations that had not erred astray
Eager to solve those mysteries in mind nervous to discover but excited to find
My tree of forefathers from way back when lost uncles perhaps boding from then.
Certificated proof my inklings first thought through journeys of history painstakingly sought.
Hours upon hours worthwhile I now muse knitting and weaving those family line clues
Eyebrows raised little surprises in store unearthing the secrets and keys to the door
Of the ancestry tree I'm driven to succeed spellbound hooked intoxicatingly intrigued.
From a small idea to a maiden name quest I'll leave no stone unturned till I've unearthed all the rest .

an ode i did through the eyes of a family member cheers
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Tears on a pillow

tears on a pillow the crying game those floods of emotions you cannot tame.

for all you had for all you lost the agonies raw still counting the cost

A slight release of the deeper you in weeping in silence you feel you must do

don't let it rule each day and night or lose the focus or lose the fight

the pillow your comfort an imaginary friend you come to rely you come to depend

grief and darkness that plays on your mind looking for answers and reasons to find

doubting your doubt fearing your fear a tangled web fogged and unclear

those watery ducts in the eyes full aflow never seeming to stop unrelenting to slow

the hours upon hours of lowly sadness reaching the brink almost touching the madness

fooled by fools self punished alone these tears on your pillow you hope will atone

and ease your concience that you know to be right to let in warmth let in light

more musings we alllike agood cry sometimes beer
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No one could handle no one could control

that forlorn lost look that asunder of soul

left so delusioned with fair of face

no one had seen the wild childs distaste

embittered and fractured no stable abode

through your own lawless means of retaliation you strode

fighting your peers turning to crime

rebelling the system in total decline

no help when needed so why should you care

when self preservation was a normal affair

do what you must do what you will

an overload of emotion possessed to fullfill

no family no friends left all on your own

simmering confusion about to be shown

no love was given no affection to receive

honesties now wavered you'd transformed to deceive

care homes and prison couldn't halt your behavoural streak

keep on offending musn't show you are weak

strong in the wrong sense that habitual misguiding

no room for sentiment no room for hiding

and so the wild child was born upon that first breath you made

disfunctional upbringing they'd be a price to be paid

Another ode a little darker.. its fictional with my own twist on things!

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frog What do we know when a door is shut to
of unforseen activities obscured from our view.
Will the shouts and screams now explode in the night
from warring couples angry hell bent on a fight.
maybe it's quiet silent so deathly still
that you begin to wonder is anyone ill.
Is a bang or a crash just normal to hear
or is someone in danger worried living in fear.
Perhaps the music comes loud through the morn
unrelenting same tunes blaring from dusk till dawn.
Upon the arrival of a fresh new day
everbody is oblivious and has nothing to say.
so on securing the shutters with the turn of a key
what then transpires is down to all of us you see.

The secrets that are never known on the other side of a door.
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in the still of the night a presence out of sight
lingers in waiting anticipating.
It's statically charged powerful source its force
unprecedented antagonistic in its speed it will feed on your mind.
Ornaments plates on a shelf top high fly
randomly erratically in orbited space no person no face.
so so close it could touch your hair yet there's nobody there.
Glasses smash into tiny pieces particles shatter scatter
into four corners of a room.
this formidable foe that just won't go.
Whooshing sounds accompany round and about
you've got to run got to get out .
The doors slam open-shut but there's no pyhsical being
to believe what your eyes are now witness to seeing.
Lights flicker on and off of their own making taking
you to the very echelons of dread as this living dead reaps havoc.
Then silence the stillness dare you breathe out
allowing a scream or a pitiful shout.
The entity has passed you now hope it is gone
disintegrating and dispersing from whence it came from.
Why it picked you that remains a mystery
maybe your building is shrouded in history.
This whirlwind apirition it came to be
left trailing in its wake only broken debris

opologies to anyone who has encountered such a force
these are my usual musings yay
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Give me the wind and i'll give you breath sustaining
your life when you have none left
Give me the moon and i'll show you light
leading the way when you have no fight
Give me the strength and i'll give you power
blooming in sunshine as a red rosed flower
Give me the good fortune and i'll brng you luck
energising the soul when you come unstuck
Give me the knowledge and i'll show you life
avoiding all falseness that cuts like a knife
Give me direction and i'll tread your path
discouraging the hecklers the doubters the wrath
Give me the patience and i'll wait my time
where loyalty runs deep and talking is fine.
Give me these things and i will be blessed
then stopping all judgements opinions and stress

Another of my rambling muses
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You know the signs the tinting of skin
a glowing pinkness overwhelms from within.
A pass or a compliment that someone made
an exudence of flirting or being overpraised .
You don't feel deserving nor warrented such hype
your not the sort your not the type
so the blushing emerges fills the pores
reaching those senses finding those cores
of an intenseness of heat that knocks you off your feet.
Then there's embarressment a little faux pas
a trip or a stumble crunched gears in a car
Odd socks on toes a momentary lapse
a fit of the giggles leaves you in total collapse.
A hole in a sweater an escaped lost burp
no coat in the rain you feel such a twerp
All flushed up when you want to stay cool
be all so so calmed not seem like a fool
You cannot avoid this if this you are prone
with reddening faced others you'll not be alone.

We've all blushed at some point come on admit it ! blushing
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A father remembered

It would never be a day like any other
no new adventures for you to discover
because upon this day it came to be you'd be no more
twas your time to be free.
we knew the outcome we knew the score
we knew you were lingering at the tails of deaths door
you knew yourself if truth be true
you hid it well cause that was you
but body weakening you breathed in deep
to further beyonds where you forever sleep
you looked at peace laying their
leaving us so numb to sit and stare
the aching came the tears did flow
all our emotions out on show
you'd hoped for longer we did too
no more memories of us with you.
instead the past your lifetimes end
flowers on headstone to lovingly tend .
for always gone but never far
in our minds our hearts or a midnight star
goodbye for now till our paths may meet
replenished in health and the air is sweet

i did this one a while back thought it was a fitting tribute once his time was sadly up heart wings
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losing identity you fade to grey troubles a plenty so little to say
patched up somehow from battered beyonds embracement of life you grew
so fond
but now not quite those heights failed to reach where security and safety were
somehow breeched
leaving behind a shard of oneself frightened and scared affecting your health
from positive to negative in one breath taken riddled with doubts your
persona mistaken
from the happy go lucky no cares to behold now your empty discarded and
to mull at nights injustices of man left shattered and haunted bewildered and
dragged through mire self worth not much contorted bad dreams and so
out of touch
but bravery and soul you shalt not lose no matter your circumstances you
have nothing to prove
identity lost not of your own making outside forces saw you there for the
but buried inside your depths of emotion is a heart of a lion with an
unbridled devotion
To succeed
one i dreamed up earlier ! cheers
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Black magic and things

Dabbling with danger the tarot cards dealt
your existence foreplanned upon the pictures felt.
Loves life and death stare you in face
with the upturned suits sequenced in place.
The analysis is good or at least you would hope
that reads good health and fortune to allow you to cope.

That mystic crystal ball is an alternative view
a globe so mesmeric it can see into you.
Past present future the infos all there
to dictate your movements with heed and much care.

Then there's the oiuji the board of all dread
that glass placed in centre summoning spirits from the dead.
With unnerring accuracy it spells out a name
from a passed over forefather whose titled the same.
So spooky so baffling do our eyes deceive
did that glass move what are we to believe.

The palmist sees deeper into lines and the folds
your hands are your destiny with the secrets they hold.
Where you've been where you'll go it's sure to fortell
longevity with luck and all being well.

Tea leaves mediums spells and potions
blackcats white witches and ancient lotions.
The paranormal is out there when mind is in doubt
if you wish to explore those reasons of doubt

This subject is always open to debate!
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wedding days!

Current mood: distractable
Category: Writing and Poetry


A wondrous day glorious setting the bride and groom
and not forgetting
the best man in tow with bridesmaid there
beautiful dresses the pampered hair.
Matching rings in pocket await
to sign and confirm togetherness state.
A brief speech here a tear or two shed
the wedding march plays as in they are led.
The vicar takes charge takes centre stage
reading your vows on a turn of a page.
The i do's i love you's sealed with a kiss
then hopefully bound for eternal bliss.
Snowflaked confetti being manically thrown
whilst congregational guests to tables are shown.
Voule vent buffets and aftermath party
all rejoicing hale and hearty.
Toasts to the couple good health unending
presents and cards with best wishes sending.
The cutting of cake tradition of course
carefully sliced to a round of applause.
A honeymoon hol or some special planned night
as mr and mrs sneak away out of sight.
From that day forward all official and fine
now can it last that whole lifetime.

some marriages do and some dont.banana
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Those little strange creatures that never lay still
will not die cannot kill.
Cause they always seem to revive from the almost dead
those slim line insects with the gangliest of legs.
While just getting comfy they buzz and annoy
irritate or unsettle like some secret ploy.
Its always the face or the fresh groomed hair
they don't worry they don't care
You swat you shoe but they just won't go
creeping from high crawling from low
They sneak through gaps a vent a door
a slight opened window a crack in the floor.
They pretend to perish as cool as they like
and when you least expect return back to strike .
Either washing down plugholes or thrown in a bin
it makes no use they replenish with a grin
to get you to that manical state
absolute seething totally irate .
When morning comes it gives respite at least
from this small living being that acts like a beast.
So next time when conditions are ripe for those foes
best cover up from your head to the tip of your toes .

A light hearted ode of course!.. those legs though eek!
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