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DEAR SIMMO

Hello fellow Bloggers, wave

I have stumbled upon an idea ( i never said it was a good one), The Master of Wit and many disguises, commonly known as Camel, gave praise to me in his last blog, he says he has seen the error of his ways and refrained from being nasty, (thanks Camel)handshake and attribuites this to me.
So i have figured if i can help Camel, I can help all of u, (maybe) some may be beyond help and maybe not all of u doh, but i will be here to give whatever help i can.
All u have to do is write ur problem here in 50 words or less and i will come back t u with what i believe will help with whatever ails u. cool
A bit like DEAR ABBY, only now its called DEAR SIMMO.
I do this as a service to the common and not so common fellow blogger.
I also offer my services free of charge, but a beer at the end of ur question would be appreciated.

Fire away.........................................

1st up will be.................

Pls accept this blog in the manner it is intended, to be humorous and slightly funny as i am not a comedian. Lets just have fun.
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BUT WAIT, THERES MORE

It seems of late that there have been some competitions happening where the winner can receive a dinner for 6,
also another competition where the winner receives 6 Steak Knives,
but wait, Theres more or shouldn’t there be more? dunno
The competition where we could only choose 5 friends to take to a fancy restaurant as the first prize, many people said they had more than 5 friends. dunno
Wouldn’t it stand to reason then, that if that person was to win 6 Steak Knives, they would need more, due to their having more than 5 friends? dunno
I’m a little perplexed as to why anyone would enter such a competition if the prize could not be shared amongst all their friends. confused
Let’s say Miss 1a had 8 friends,
she would have to look for a competition that had a prize she could share 9 ways, (herself and 8 friends). doh
Then what about Mr 2b, he has 12 friends, so the only competition he could enter would be where he could share his prize 13 ways. (Himself and his 12 friends). doh
Of course, if you had only 3 friends and the prize was for 6,8,even 10 dinners, steak knives, pizzas or whatever, Then you would have to go and make more friends, after all we can't have too many friends can we. dunno doh
Hang on, why look for more friends, as that would only limit the competitions you can enter, best to stay with the 3 you have and then enjoy your prize without feeling bad about not sharing with all your friends. dunno
So maybe, it is wise for those of us that have more than 3 friends, should look at our friends and see which ones we can cut from the list,
as friends, I’m sure they would understand the reasoning behind our decision. If not, they probably shouldn’t be our friends in the first place. dunno confused
Another option would be to have no friends, so you can enter any competition and never have to worry about sharing the prize with anyone. dunno
But surely, we all deserve at least 1 friend. If only to share whatever prize we would win if we did in fact win a competition.
The only other alternative I see, is not to enter any competitions,
thus we wouldn’t have to worry about what the prize was, how many we would have to share it with, and even if it was a “real” prize.
After all, haven’t the competitions on here lately been make believe anyway. I hope that doesn’t mean our friendships here are make believe. dunno confused
“Friendship
is not something you learn in school.
But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship,
you really haven't learned anything”.


I was bored and wrote this blog for laughs, please do not take it seriously. Relax and enjoy.
Make believe prizes will be given at random intervals during the life of this blog
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Goodbyes are hard, Final Goodbyes are...

To the woman who could no longer afford you and asked me to take you in, I thank her for caring enough not to throw you out on the street.
To the two dogs that mauled you when you were just a few years old, I thank them for not killing you.
To the emergency specialist people who worked tirelessly to repair your broken body, giving you medicine and placing tubes in wounds all over your body so they could drain and you could heal, I thank them for keeping you alive.
Thank you to my children, for allowing me to care for and love you, all those wonderful years.
And to you, my wonderful, loving, devoted beautiful girl:
You were always the first one at the door to greet me. That long, solid tail would make the loudest sounds whacking against anything and everything, and we laughed that you could always be heard before you arrived.
Everyone said buying toys for you was a waste of time and money because you wanted nothing to do with them. I’m glad I ignored them, because we had the most amazing times playing fetch and chasing your squeaky stuffed animals.
Don’t worry they’re all still here with me. Even your favorite toy Wags.
Storms and thunder were your enemies, and you would crawl and curl around my feet until they passed. My feet will never be as warm again.
The grass was just right for you to walk on, flip upside down, and wiggle side to side on your back as if you were trying to reach an itch you couldn’t scratch. Territory marking or just something goofy you liked to do, and I wish I could see you do it one more time.
Your patience and respect were admirable qualities and those that some humans I know don’t even possess.
Those silly little cream-colored bones you love so much made as much noise bouncing on the floor as your tail made on walls. Two of them are still sitting on the blanket you last laid on this morning.
If there was ever anything cooking, you’d be right there lying on the floor in case you needed to scramble to reach food that fell. I can’t remember how many times we all nearly tripped over you.
Strangers were scared of you. You had the meanest bark and patrolled the house and yard like you were hired to do it when you heard even the smallest sound. Little did they know you were more likely to roll over and ask for a belly rub.
The vet’s office was always filled with cats and dogs of various sizes. You always wanted to meet them and play, but you respected their boundaries and personal space. Your temperament was beautiful.
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Awards Continued

After a brief intermission we now now get into the 2nd half of the awards.
take a sit, make yourselves comfy, and please keep the applause to a dull roar......applause applause applause conversing conversing
Oh this is so exciting........confused grin


Walt Disney Award……..Rbrt747 (for his story telling)
Seinfeld Award……..Parti (his blogs are about nothing)
Dancing Queen Award…..Lazly (cause she just keeps on dancing)
Best Promotion Award……Eat More Corn (won on a count back from eat more Broccoli)
Infomercial Award…..JimNastics (could he advertise his business anymore on his pictures)
Lost in Space Award….Halfavag ( appears every now and then)
Devil’s Advocate Award….Zman (always making sure all sides of the argument is put forward)
Heartbreaker Award….LonelyMontse08 (she is so beautiful she is bound to break hearts)
In & Out Award…..Shay (she drops IN to most blogs then runs OUT again)
Here for a good time not a long time Award….Gordonski (left after such a short stint)
Here for a long time not a good time Award……Sunnyisles48 (well it seems like forever)
Fred and Ginger Award….Frankistien (very nibble on his feet)
I’m so Vain Award….Kesha777 (can do no wrong, just ask her)
Now a couple of the Big Awards………..
Princess Grace Award….Serenity4two (can only see good in everyone, a true lady)
Court Jester Award…… A tie……Solamante & Theik (not everything they say can be taken seriously, CAN IT?)
Prince Charles Award….Bsooner (Lurking away in the background watching over us)
Silver Tongue Award (men)…..Vulpine (smooth and classy, how else could he have gotten Nessa)
Silver Tongue Award (women)…..Jac379 (always finding something to debate about in any blog)
applause applause applause applause applause applause
Well CSers that’s the end of the awards,applause applause

I guess having awards and having some well deserved members miss out is a way of
“that’s how the fight started”
doh doh doh doh
And may peace rein down upon us all.
I will be back later this evening my time to reply if needed…….wave wave
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OPINIONS......???????

Opinions as we all know r like backsides, everyone has 1.
Some opinions r humorous, some idealistic, simplistic; others can be misguided, or sincere, opinions can be harsh, or kind, real opinions, fake opinions, whilst others are just a waste of the written word.
Do we here in Cyber land, really care what ails others? Do we?
How could we?
Bloggers come here and write about daily happenings, sadness, of being hurt by a supposed loved one; this is when the opinions flow, like a person who has swallowed a packet of laxatives.
Does that blogger follow any of the opinions, does he/she treat them as good or bad advice, and how does he/she know which opinion to take as they flow so fast.
Do they take the real opinion of the fake persona, or do they accept the fake opinion of the real blogger, maybe they seek the idealistic opinion, or maybe the humorous opinion is best?
Do they look to see who gave that opinion? was it from some silver haired comic from Australia, or was it from a war monger clone of a ww2, maybe it was from a boat builder, or some fat dude in Australia (yes I am a fat dude). Maybe even from a desert animal or do they look into outer space? Do real estate agents really have an ear to the ground and offer better opinions, Maybe Greek gods have the better opinion, or maybe a story teller will tell of the right opinion.
Don’t forget the ladies, did the opinion come from somewhere over the rainbow, or was it written by one who knows words so well, maybe it was from one of the many Asians, or is it a fitness fanatic that gives the best opinion, maybe a world traveller has a better opinion, How about a wordsmith they know what to say surely, or someone who listens to music, (their soul is clean), perhaps theirs is better or it could have been from one of the elderly, and highly respected ladies.
Does the age of the person giving the opinion matter?
Will an older person have a better opinion, or maybe a younger person will be more up to date, do men’s opinions hold more weight, or is it that ladies opinions seem sounder?
Does the person seeking an opinion really care? Was his/her story true, were they really taken advantage of? Were they really harmed, robbed, offended?
Was the seeker of an opinion really stalked, were the words written about them really that bad, did their sibling/s really have a life threatening illness or injury? Did they just lose their employment; did the sky fall upon them? Was their cat stuck up a tree?
Was the blogger Real? Was their story even remotely true? With so many alleged fake accounts, do we know if any of us are real? Was it a troll in disguise, or was it a blogger disguised as a troll? Was it someone seeking an audience or did they just want to see how many ppl would respond?
With so many life stories, with so many fake life stories, with so many trolls, with so many opinions, with so many possibilities,
How could we not know that we are being set upon and made to look foolish, How do we know if the blogger is not just plain bored?
Yet we are quick to offer opinions and help to those that we do not know, yet very few believe that the bloggers are real in the first place. Why do we choose who is real and who isn’t, isn’t that just an opinion? Ur own opinion, maybe u should seek more opinions?
We do not complain that we may have been set up by a blogger seeking opinions, (who may have or may not have been real) yet we abuse, complain, attack, those that dare write a blog that is their own opinion in their own way. (Who or what are we attacking? the opinion or the person behind the opinion?)
Everyone should be allowed an opinion without fear of abuse or attack or even ridicule. If you disagree with the opinion, ignore it.
Please feel free to leave an opinion, I have no care if there is more than less or less than more……..any opinion is welcomed.
Opinions ARE like arsholes, everyone has one.
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A nice stroll around the neighborhood.

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I was in a reflective mood this morning as I was walking Matilda (my pet dingo) around the local neighborhood.
I have come to know many people from around here, It is a diverse neighborhood with many born from other parts of the world now settled here, most are friendly souls and well others, I am best to stay clear from. There are widows and widowers, divorcees, singles, married, and others just starting out in a relationship that live nearby.
Some are nurses, photographers, retired, office workers, sales people, computer experts, builders, and so forth, all living in the same area.
The houses are all so different, some are two even three stories high, others have a pool in the back yard, and some are long, whilst others are decorated to reflect that person’s personality. Of course there are a couple of blocks of units and not forgetting an elderly person’s villa.
Occasionally, some would gather at the front yard of one persons place and they would just chat for hours, discussing the news of the day, and yes there were those that just liked to gossip and talk in circles, but they were normally the ones that lived in the old persons villa.
The weather was strange too, took a lot of getting used to, one moment it was as hot as an oven with your roast in it, the next day the ground was white with snow, this often caused confusion as no one knew what one day would bring to the next.
Everyone seemed to call each other by their nicknames and no one cared, I’m not sure if I know any of their first names either, but in general, all seemed to have an enjoyable time being in this neighborhood.
There was no Saturday night dances to go to, it seemed most took it in turns of hosting a group of others so they could share a drink or two and spin some yarns (tell jokes). There would be a different host nearly every night. It was great learning about people and where they had come from and how their country was different.
There were those that would just listen to stories and not say much if anything at all. It was thought that with time they would share, but ought not to be rushed into it.
As with every neighborhood, there were those that would meet just to gossip and spread innuendos about others, talk behind the backs of some. And of course there are the complainers, the ones that complained about the cost of bread, fuel, some would even complain about the time of day. Governments and authority seemed to be complained about most, it wasn’t as if we were all in a different situation. The rules of the day affect us all.
It was in general a good high spirited neighborhood, although at times I have seen some who crossed the road just because they saw someone they didn’t like walking towards them. Then there were those who thought that they were well liked, when in fact they were not.
Still I guess every neighborhood is similar to mine, The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, Some funny, some not, Some elderly that need looking after, others that we hoped would move away, Some kind and generous, some wise, just a mixture of everything.
I guess I should call my neighborhood my home. BUT I don’t,
Home is where the heart belongs and my heart doesn't belong to this neighborhood.
What’s the name of my neighborhood?
Why it’s CS of course.thumbs up cheers sigh
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OVER, UNDER, 2 OR 3 PLY

Finally, at last, the enduring debate over whether the toilet paper should go over or under the roll has been settled with the emergence of an 1891 patent design of the modern toilet roll.

applause cheering banana

As old as modernity, the argument that has been known to be responsible for divorces and shouting matches between family members has been settled by 124 year old visual evidence.


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The toilet paper roll patent, registered by Seth Wheeler of New York in 1891 clearly shows that the paper should go over and not under.

doh doh

With the toilet paper issue now settled, we should now concentrate on other important First World arrangement problems, such as double – ply or triple – ply, or should the milk or Tea be poured first, or whether socks or pants should be put on first.

3 cheers for Seth Wheeler yay yay yay
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DATING or SOCIAL SITE

This is an open blog seeking thoughts and opinions about what CS is really all about.

It is advertised as a dating site with many other features.
But I ask, isn’t it really just a social site with some dating features.

Just as Facebook and Twitter are social sites. There has been success in some from those sites getting together and dating, even getting married.

Let’s break down what makes a social site.

A social site is a place where people can meet and make friends through communication over the World Wide Web. Where games, puzzles, communication publicly or privately, a collection of members that can interact in so many different ways, A place where people can meet and share life experiences and make new friends as well as catch up with friends they haven’t seen for a while, Somewhere they can post pictures and tell stories, tall and true, A place where people can interact on a daily basis. Isn’t this CS?

What is so different between CS and Facebook, Twitter, even LinkedIn or any other social networking site?

Should we just consider CS a dating site that offers more than other dating sites, or should we view it as a Social Site that offers more than other Social Sites?

Advertisers are equally important to both Social Sites and Dating Sites, or do advertisers pay more because a site specialises in Social networking or Dating?

How many Dating sites allow debate about various topics such as Capital Punishment, Religion, Same sex marriages and so forth? Yet social sites encourage this type of interaction.

How many Dating sites have extras such as a poets corner, forums, blogs, face puzzles, photo ratings and so on? Yet Social sites have all these.

I could go on and on and on, but I really would like all those out there in CS land to give me their view/opinion.

WHAT DO YOU THINK CS IS REALLY ALL ABOUT?
I may not be able to quickly respond to all comments, but i would really appreciate as much feedback as possible.
I will be back to add my thoughts a little later.
Thanking you all in advance.

doh cheers handshake
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The Miracle of Ageing

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body - the wrinkles that are starting to appear, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, help but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra piece of pizza, sigh or for not making my bed, sigh or for buying that silly cement gnome that I didn't need, but looks so avant-garde on my patio.sigh I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with ageing.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 am, and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the younger bikini/board-shorts clad set. They, too, will get old!

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten, and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

Old Age is a Gift

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey slowly, but surely, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say 'no', and mean it. I can say 'yes', and mean it

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself any more. I've even earned the right to be wrong. (although i cant remember the last time i was wrong) dunno

So, to answer your question, (before you ask it, that is) I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day if i want.

Today, I wish you a day of ordinary miracles. dancing beer
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Mixed emotions

talk about a raft of mixed emotions.doh
At around this time every year, I await with such anticipation, The funny,furry,unexplainable,sweet,a sense of being loved type of feelings, that my family, friends, well wishers, even some of those that do not like me very much give to me.
How i wait and try to guess who will be the first one.
will it be my eldest daughter, or my second daughter, maybe my son, Nah, it will be my granddaughter "Princess Trinity", Maybe, just maybe, someone from here at CS will be the first.
What am i on about, confused well, i often wonder at this time of year, who will be the FIRST to wish me a Happy Birthday.
Talk about going from excitement, to disappointment, to eventually reality. doh
I do this to myself every year,
I wait allday for someone to wish me a HAPPY BIRTHDAYhappy birthday BUT
It never comes.
I then realise, that it is not so surprising, as it's no where near my birthday.frustrated
To all those that are celebrating a birthday today, hope it was a good one.
I now have to learn yet another emotion, "PAITIENCE"cheers
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ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?

Well are you. confused

There are some people I don’t kid. I don’t joke with these people. I don’t think I have permission to do so.
Perhaps you know people like this. They are deeply serious people – especially about themselves. They might tell a joke or tease someone but you don’t feel as if you have their permission to do this with them. It’s not that these people are unpleasant or mean. No, they are just serious – deadly serious!
You can quickly put people at ease by laughing at yourself.

Laughing at yourself and the WHOLE world laughs with you.

I love to be around people who laugh at themselves. These people don’t mind telling you stories about silly things they have done. They tell stories about themselves and then enjoy the laughter of other people. They have a way of putting others around them at ease. I feel so comfortable around such people.
Yet, there are people I don’t feel comfortable with. I don’t tease them or use very much humor with them. I don’t feel at ease around them. They take themselves far too seriously for that. I recall once watching a friend trying to playfully tease such a person. The guy got tense and then shot back some sort of barb. It was an awkward moment. I think my friend learned that the other guy was very self-conscious and took himself very seriously.
So what can you tell us about yourself that will make us laugh, what are you prepared to share with all at CS that will put a smile on the dial of even the most serious observer of the blogs.
To get the ball rolling I will share what my kids think is the funniest thing that they have ever seen. (at the time they were 12, 11 and 6)
I was living in Tasmania at the time and it was the beginning of December.
We had decided that we would go to Launceston to do some Xmas shopping. (about 1 ½ hours away from where we lived)
Our car suffered a flat along the way, I changed the trye and continued, A little further we came across a little repair yard, and the kids wanted to go to the toilet, so I pulled into the repair yard.
It would take them about 15 mins to replace the flat tyre with a new one.
In the meantime I asked where my kids could go to the toilet.
Directions were given, and off we went around the back of the building down the road a little towards a long shed.
In we go, toilets are on the far side.
Kids started walking around the wall whilst I went the shortest way, straight ahead. Silly me, After two steps I had sunk to the bottom of the pool that I never noticed. It had a clear plastic covering it but I didn’t think it was covering a pool.
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All wet and still an hour’s drive from our destination, how can I dry my clothes, Hang them out the window and on the back shelf is how, all I was wearing was my jocks (underpants).
Kids laughed from the moment I walked on water and fell in until about 15 mins short of where we were going.
Absolute true story. rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Now its your turn.
make us LAUGH rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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LIVING A LIE

Inspired by a blog i have just recently read, i offer the following.
It has been my unfortunate experience to be associated with a person for a period of time that was not the person I thought I knew.
Now I am not that easily fooled, but over a reasonable period of time I had taken time to befriend this person and delve into their life. We shared many private things together, things that maybe our family members may not know.
We shared many hours getting to know each other, understanding each other’s traits and getting to the stage (or so I thought) that we knew each other as well as we knew ourselves.
It has come to pass, that the person I had befriended had been living a life full of lies.
This is the problem with the telling of just one lie, unless you own up to it, another lie is needed to cover up the first lie, and then another to cover that one and so on, like a snowball rumbling down a mountain it just gathers speed and becomes out of control.
Before you know it, your life has become a complete and total lie.
Not are you lying to those around you, but more importantly to yourself. How can anyone have such little regard for their own life that they would continue creating another lie to cover the lie before that and on it goes.
It matters not what the lies are, your age, where you work, your friend’s name, where you went to school, creating extra family members, using other people’s pictures and passing them off as your own. Even your name, your qualifications, what sort of phone you have, inventing a child you never really had or stating that a family member has passed or has a terminal illness. It is just being deceitful.
Now I know some people will say a little white lie is ok, but if you don’t own up to that little white lie, you have to invent another lie, and that is a little bigger than the first and not as white either, until you have been caught in a web of deceit. WHY would anyone want to do that to themselves and to those who try and surround them with love?
I am no angel, yes I have lied in the past, and will no doubt find a reason to be untruthful in the future, but I have not, and will not live my life as a lie.
The biggest problem comes when that person believes their own lies are the truth, when that happens, how can anyone differentiate what is real and not real.
Just recently I have had to deal with a person like this, a person I respected and held in high regard, a person who I was proud to say was a friend. I found myself doubting everything this person said to me, and that made me feel terrible, as if I was letting this person down in some way.
I went away to try and clear my head, with the help of other friends I researched some of things I was told, what I found out was mind boggling, it completely floored me, how could I have been so naive, so gullible as to believe without question for so long what was being told to me.
I am not bitter, just confused/bewildered as to why some people go to the level of deceit that they do in order to lie to people. The level of the deceit I uncovered included the help of others, others that may have befriended many other people.
I feel betrayed, but the person has betrayed themselves more I think.
Can I help, should I help?
What would you do? The scariest thing is you may even know a person like this.
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