"REAL FRIENDSHIP"

Never ask, ‘Who is my real friend?’ Ask,‘Am I a real friend to somebody?’ That is the right question. Why are you worried about others — whether they are friends to you or not? The proverb is: A friend in need is a friend indeed.But deep down that is greed. That is not friendship; that is not love.You want to use the other as a means, and no man is a means, every man is an end unto himself. Why are you so worried about who is a real friend? The real question has to be: Am I friendly to people? Do you know what friendship is? It is the highest form of love. In love, some lust is bound to be there; in friendship, all lust disappears. In friendship nothing gross remains; it becomes absolutely subtle.
It is not a question of using the other, it is not even a question of needing the other,it is a question of sharing.You have too much and you would like to share.And whosoever is ready to share your joy with you, your dance, your song, you will be grateful to him, you will feel obliged…. A friend always feels grateful to those people who allow him to love them, to give them whatsoever he has got. Love is greed.You will be surprised to know that the English word ‘love’ comes from a Sanskrit word lobh and it means ‘greed’…. Making friendships with the idea of using people is taking a wrong step from the very beginning. Friendship has to be a sharing.If you have something, share it — and whosoever is ready to share with you is a friend.
It is not a question of need.It is not about when you are in danger, the friend has to come to your aid.That is irrelevant — he may come, he may not come, but if he does not come, you don’t have any complaint. If he comes you are grateful,but if he does not come,it’s perfectly okay. It is his decision to come or not to come. You don’t want to manipulate him, you don’t want to make him feel guilty.You will not have any grudge. Friendship is not something of the marketplace.Friendship is one of those rare things which belong to the temple and not to the shop.But you are not aware of that kind of friendship,you will have to learn it. Friendship is a great art.Love has a natural instinct behind it; friendship has no natural instinct behind it.
Friendship is something conscious; love is unconscious.You fall in love with a woman.... Why do we say ‘falling in love’? That phrase is significant: ‘falling in love’. Nobody ever rises in love, everybody falls in love.Why do you fall in love? This is because it is falling from the conscious to the unconscious, from intelligence to instinct. What we call love is more animalistic than human. Friendship is absolutely human. It has something for which there is no inbuilt mechanism in your biology;it is nonbiological. Hence, one rises in friendship,one does not fall in friendship. It has a spiritual dimension