Shakespeare for Idiots, or non-readers
Romeo & Juliet- The modern version by William MapshakeAt a nightclub in 1976 Romeo was doing his best to impress a bird he fancied called Julie, His dancing skills worked and they fell in love.
The next day they walked hand in hand to a chemist for an after the act contraceptive pill but found out they had not been invented yet.
Over a Costa coffee they decided that although their parents hated each other due to Juliet’s dad selling a shite car to Romeo’s dad they would get have to get married in secret.
They flew over to Vegas and at the Elvis Presley One Dollar Church they got married, gambled a bit and watched a Tom Jones show before returning to England.
Juliet’s high school sweetheart named Paris had meanwhile appeared on the scene after a lengthy prison sentence for theft of kitchen and kitchen related storage items and wanted “His bird”.
He knew how to appeal to Juliet’s Mom and bribed her with a huge amount of Tupperware so he could marry Juliet and in time take over the used car business; Juliet was a bit angry but had to agree as she knew her mom had already used the salad spinner and 3 freezer containers.
After a few Gin and Tonics Juliet decided to fake her own death as she couldn’t be arsed marrying Paris, Her dealer pal gave her some sleeping pills and she took them and fell asleep.
She looked dead so was laid out for the family to look at, Poor Romeo saw her stiff lifeless body and promptly hanged himself with his new floral orange and brown bedspread.
When Julie awoke she heard that her secret love and hubby and kicked the bucket, she decided that she would also kill herself and did.
The moral of the story…Tupperware is rubbish and not worth dying for and condoms save lives.
Comments (17)
However, I'm happy my father did not use any at that Christmas time 1968.
Number seven, born as a side effect of Christmas fever.....
....but that's another blog.
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah
Now you just say "oh, Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him"…
Mr.Wave, Mark Knopfler is a modern version of the Bard
Map, I think you should write a series of Shakespeare plays.
I could sell them on the black market to school kids to enhance their understanding of them in a modern-day setting
My choice is Joyce
I can't force myself to finish his books.
I wouldn't mind him condensing Lord of the Rings to a few paragraphs, though. I have never yet passed the point where Gandalf says 'you will not pass'. Enjoyed the Hobbit, bogged down in LOTR every single time I tried.
And Dune. Map, do Dune!!
At least there was action in that.
It is the ones that just go on and on I get bored with.
Like Dostoevsky. The Idiot wasn't too bad. But others were harder work.
Reading shouldn't be hard work.
Ah, yes. I thought I recognized that little snippet of Dire Straits!
Seems to me that the translation has a LOT to do with the readability of Russian novels...although Dostoevsky is FRIGHTFULLY long winded!
Bravo