Kavanaugh Accusers Are Harming Those Who Were Raped

We’ve all heard the adage that “the personal is political,” and as we watched the slow motion train wreck that was Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearing, that saying holds true more than most times. Unfortunately, that means we have a battle over due process, rape, and what those two terms should mean for us as a society. It’s being cast as a victim versus perpetrator battle, but I suspect that it’s really making all sides the victims.

I hate the word “victim,” and avoid it all costs. It is not who I am, no matter how many times anyone may say the term applies to me because of my past. When it comes to the Kavanaugh accusations, I cringe every time something new hits the headlines.

It’s not because I think there might be a credible accusation. That dread comes from the fact that each headline – each accusation and new accuser – pushes the entire narrative about rape at least a step or two back. We managed to (almost) get beyond the point of putting those who were raped on trial, and then we entered into the abyss that is filled with false accusations mingled with real ones. The reactionary response hit our college campuses first, where young women started calling for the ability to call “Monday morning regrets” rape.

Of course, that isn’t how it was back in the 1980’s, when Kavanaugh allegedly did horrible things. It’s an important detail to remember since it seems everyone is all too pleased to act as though the social atmosphere was “just like today” back then. By today’s standards, the accusations of attempting to remove a girl’s clothing, and giving one’s genitals a bit of air in the vicinity of women at a party are viewed on nearly the same level as rape in an alley. In the early to mid-eighties, I recall both of those kinds of behavior directed toward me by boys. I didn’t like it, and the attempts to remove my clothing without my consent were definitely unsettling at the time. However, I had been raised to understand that while I shouldn’t tolerate that sort of behavior from boys, I also shouldn’t consider calling it “rape” or even “abuse.” It wasn’t “boys will be boys” behavior either. It was simply unacceptable, and a very good reason to avoid the boys who did it.

When I went to college, I learned why there was a big difference between guys trying to go too far or being idiots about their genitals, and rape. That lesson left me with a couple bruised ribs, a split lip, and assorted bruises all over. Back then I didn’t report what happened to anyone except a few close friends. There was no point, because I already knew nothing would happen – the college would bury the report, convince me not to talk to the police, and based on campus rumors, might even threaten to oust me if I didn’t keep it quiet. And, that was rape, defined as forced s*xual intercourse.

Full story:

Comments (38)

Here's thoughtful commentary on issues you've raised, Willy...


cowboy
Since Kavanaugh's daughter is only 10, we shall have to wait a couple of years to the time she is pulled into a room by 2 drunken youngsters in their larger social circle who bounce drunkenly on her until they fall on the floor laughing hysterically and she can go home and tell him about it. I imagine his judgement call to his daughter will be 'no harm done, stop being so silly and run along' because that's what good dads do. Ask any dad on this site. No big deal. He'll be completely cool with it.

The bizarre thing about this is that no physical harm WAS done and it is more than likely that whoever she told at the time told her she was lucky to get off so easily and not to make a fuss.

I guess if you ask any woman on this site if she's had a close call at some point in her teens, she has. Girls will be girls until they learn that boys will be boys.

As it is she's told a fairly minor story into a media storm of note of a frightening incident which came to nothing, and he's blustered straight into the trap of denying it outright and turning it into an investigation into every drink he and his friends ever drank and every female he and his friends ever met.

What an odd thing to do. It cannot possibly end well for either party, or for their friends and families.

He should have followed my excellent advice on your other blog snooty but that was ignored and so will this comment be. dunno
loulou77
Eleg

I was always listening...Koodoos to you....wine
thumbs up ta Lou wine
texasgirl8585
My daughter says due process or "innocent til proven guilty" doesn't apply here because it's not a court of law.
Hey Willy, you might want to use a couple of quotation marks if you're gonna copy and paste. You know what they look like right?
I posted a link. That's enough for me.
I looked at that Hard Right site you quoted and saw there was a section called "Bearing Arms". I went outside this morning bearing arms and got bit by a damn Mosquito. very mad
More thoughtful commentary on issues raised...
Using the issue of assault on women to further political agendas...


cowboy
kpthatsme
I don't think it's hurting victims. I really do think that something happened to Dr. Ford. I just don't think there is evidence to substantiate that it was Kavanaugh. I hope I'm right. What I don't understand is we have had all kinds of protesters for Ford and believing her. Without any definitive proof. Without a previous whisper of a scandal and without any corroboration. What happens if the FBI comes back with nothing new? Will these protesters stop? Will they apologize to Kavanaugh? I really don't think so. I have my own theories as to what could have happened given the times and era of this incident. We'll see how it all pans out.
Bump
The more emotional responses on all this sometimes come from the vast minority of folks who fortunately have never experienced real s*xual violation. Seems to be a positive correlation between possible real such experiences, political activism, and the level of strident responses, as with Senator Flake trying to walk out of a Senate lift. One more aspect that complicates many others, such as the lack of valid evidenced based data on human memory over long periods of time. The supplemental, now seventh, FBI investigation is welcome. If it really doesn't help much more, it seems the Senate will likely vote to confirm. We'll all see.
loulou77
Willie

Women need to be heard...it is not a conspiracy...perhaps Flake had a moral moment...in the elevator...let's not get too righteous and let the FBI investigate...

It is what the alleged victims wanted...thumbs up
Poor Flake from Snowflake AZ got mobbed by two Soros-Operatives!rolling on the floor laughing
loulou77
Comrad

Your an idiot...thumbs down
...it is not a conspiracy...

Of COURSE it's not a conspiracy scold

It only looks like a conspiracy...
Walks like a conspiracy...
And talks like a conspiracy.



Bit it is NOT a conspiracy scold
And if it WAS a conspiracy, it would NOT damage the credibility of actual assault victims scold
roll eyes

#Walkaway Movement joy

cowboy
loulou77
Mic

Try not to disrespect women...scold


It is not always about politics...
Women need to be heard...

scold

SOME women need to be heard...


ONLY women who advance the Dems' righteous agenda need be heard, of course.
smile

#Walkaway Movement motorcycle

cowboy
nope Little Lou,you are it,you are the one who got snookered by the Soros-Gang,not I!
laugh
loulou77
Mic

There is no political agenda...what woman would subject herself to the cruel and unusual punishment of facing an all white male congress...including being in the same building with Kavanaugh...you have not been sexually attacked...Guess what...I have been in such circumstances...wow
loulou77
Comrad

Bugger off you old goat...
Miclee, Conrad, louie louie's got nothin' on you.
It is not always about politics...

Of COURSE it's not always about politics scold

It's only about politics when it's politically useful to advance righteous Dem political agendas. (See vid in my previous comment roll eyes )

And that's OK.
Because the political agendas of Dems are righteous : innocent:
Dems are NOT hypocritical moral bankrupts who'll politicize anything (like by selectively believing assault victims).
scold

They and their agendas being righteous, you understand innocent

#Walkaway Movement dancing

cowboy
loulou77
Mic

You have missed the point...roll eyes

Both politidal parties have agendas...but the person retelling her story is not...I am glad that the FBI is investigating...a life appointment is at stake...

Willie

The old boys club is going down despite your continuous blogs on the subject to matter...deal with it...roll eyes
what woman would subject herself to the cruel and unusual punishment of facing an all white male congress...including being in the same building with Kavanaugh.

confused

lightbulb

I'm just guessing here...
But maybe one who might be a deep statist swamp thing...with links to the CIA?
dunno

#Walkaway Movement super

cowboy
loulou77
Infowars...roll eyes
NOT Infowars scold

#Walkaway Movement dancing

cowboy
I'm not going to involve myself on here with the Kavanaugh investigation.

I have my own opinion on the topic.

What I find increasingly alarming is the numbers of women who have been sexually interfered with, molested, assaulted and/or raped during their younger years.

I was sexually assaulted not once, not twice....but on numerous occasions by different offenders.

I did not alert the proper authorities, because somehow.....I had, at the time, felt responsible for the outcome, even though the first offence occurred when I was only 8 years old. I, incorrectly, assumed....that in some, obscure way.....perhaps, I had contributed to the act.....even though, looking back now.....I had done no such thing. I was also ashamed to share my secret with others, particularly with anyone in authority who may take action against the offender. I wanted to "forget" it.

How many more of us women, out there......have tried to forget it?
Track16
Way too many women have shit done to them they don't want. Problem is no one seems to want to actually implement change
loulou77
Berry

I hear you...wine


Let's be vocal...
texasgirl8585
Women should be heard and taken seriously. Too bad none of Bill Clinton's 12 accusers weren't taken seriously.

Now the left has something new, no proof is even needed.
Don't forget Deputy DNC Chair Keith Ellison, Tex scold


We wouldn't want to cherry pick se× offenders, would we?
No. Of course we wouldn't scold
Especially if it's done to score political points.

That'd be gross - like in a full-on banana republic (see commentary in vid above roll eyes )
Only hypocritical moral bankrupts would do that.

#Walkaway Movement super
And even if Infowars is sourced - SO WHAT?!

This whole sordid mess started with a superannuated drama queen from the People's Republic Of Commiefornia hurling after-last-minute anonymous & uncorroborated accusations in the Senate Judiciary Committee.

No need getting overly fastidious about finer points of veracity & decorum at this late date.
That's lonnnggg gone.

WHAT DIFFERENCE, AT THIS POINT, DOES IT MAKE?!

#Walkaway Movement cartwheel

cowboy
Drcoctail
It's a very dangerous direction if we allow 'guilty until proven innocent' to become politically correct.

cool
Texas, we differ on this one. If women weren't using sex as their enterprise for a living, yes. But just because a consensual has happened doesn't make it legal to sue them later, the users ir buyers I mean.
loulou77
Trump and Cohen wanted Stormy's silence...a threat made against her was made allegedly...so what would you do?...

Rather a convenient tactic...your sounding like Rudy Galliani now...not a compliment... roll eyes

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