Really REALLY honest profile comments

You want honest profiles? I found some spotted on websites, pruned out the crudest, sharing twenty of those that made me blink. These were all from profiles, mainly Tinder, all ages from 20 to 60 plus. I haven’t said whether guys or gals, sometimes you can tell, and sometimes you can’t.

Maybe, honesty doesn't always strike the right first impression.

1. I like long barefoot walks on pebble beaches. I love pain . . .
2. I’m an old-fashioned guy – some might say a full-on bigot
3. I’m so curvy I’m looking for a concave partner
4. Will become emotionally attached if you smile at me
5. Really hoping you have incredibly low standards
6. We could be forever if your tits are bigger than mine?
7. I have an opinion on the Oxford comma. Seeking same.
8. I’ll probably never love you as much as I love myself
9. I’m looking for someone who hates the same things as me
10. Don’t ask me out on a date if you’re poor
11. Probably have the smallest p*nis you will never see
12. Looking for someone with a nice dog I can take for walks
13. If Phil Collins’ In the Air Tonight comes on, I expect you to do the drum solo on my butt
14. Hooked on Shakespeare, will bring book along on date
15. Not into randoms, just looking for my future husband
16. I love sweet things! Craving for a mommy dipped in sugar!
17. I’ll love going shopping with you, but only got 20c in my pocket
18. I’m outdoorsy in so far as I like to get drunk on patios
19. I’m only here because I got thrown off Christian Mingle.
20. Just looking for someone to buy me coffee and touch my butt

#13 did make me laugh – your guess whether a man or a woman.
Oh, and #6 had a pic. She’d need to be quite stacked.