Love is Noise...

I wish MySpace was back. Whereas I listen to that song, I cannot help to think every-single-f*cking-time about that Ukrainian cutie that travelled to China. What was her name? I don't know. Any other info about her? None.

The ever-so-present reminder that love is not for me. Not for a guy like me. I escape love and love escapes me.
Oh how much I tried to make connection to her, but it just wasn't enough, and then, the adventures resulting from that heartbreak were as immense as the love I had for her. "Will those feet in modern times walk on soles made in China?"

And then the bright prosaic malls, the memories of Sweden, the bright prosaic malls in Sweden. My hopes, my wishes, my unfulfilled fantasies...
The need for answers and not just walks in the park. The 'ursekta mig' question right at the entry of Nacka Forum. The recurring hope for a love that might or might not be.
I-can-not-take-it-anymore.


As I put my ring back on, I try to diluscidate what was it that I've done wrong in my life to end up like this. ¿Can I fix it? ¿Will I be fine?

And yes, the offer is there for me to take.. but why would I cause more harm to myself without any reason?
Is it real? The trembling on the sofa, is that Icelandic memory just pulling my legs in a way that only love can do?
Just the memories, those are the only ones I ask to come back. Because the cold and the booze in my veins only call for those memories that will never leave my mind. Even if I forget the smells and the sounds, the cold wind will be there to remind me of that ship that has set sail and left me dry, hoping for a return inside my heart that seems to never happen.
Tonight, this night, is just another cry for reason.


I wish it never dies.