Recently pardoned turkey found dead after claiming to have dirt on Clinton
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A turkey recently pardoned by President Trump was found dead after claiming to have dirt on the Clintons, sources at the FBI confirmed Monday.The official cause of death was suicide, though the bullet wounds were in the back of the turkey's head and the bird lacked opposable thumbs with which to operate a firearm.
The turkey had been publicly pardoned for the crime of being delicious and set free by Trump in a popular White House Thanksgiving tradition. Shortly after being released, the turkey confirmed its possession of "credible" information that would lead to the indictment of Hillary Clinton, posting on the bird's social media account that it was a good thing Trump had pardoned the turkey, so the world could find the truth out about the Clintons.
Metro police discovered the turkey's body the next morning, shot twice in the back of the head and stabbed in the back. There was a nearby handwritten note confirming that the death was "not fowl play."
Comments (7)
Turkey's name wasn't Vince by any chance?
This is highly classified and I shouldn't let it out, so don't y'all tell anyone, OK?
The Don's plan to bring peace to Korea involves putting it about that Kim Jong Un has dirt on the Clintons
Mum's the word