Unknown
Unknown
Nov 2009
650 Views
10 Comments

need an answer so badly

My 32nd birthday is the most saddest birthday i ever had...my sister and her husband's marriage is on the rocks ...It may collapse at any moment due to her past...she never mentioned that she had other relationship while my brother-in-law is working abroad during their boyfriend/girlfriend stage 13 years ago...they had two beautiful sons now..she just confessed recently and my brother in law couldn't accept it..as in he makes everything hard for them..her past keeps on haunting him and he wanted to separate from my sister..but my sister really loves him so much..she can't live without him...she even wanted to die for him..she already confessed everything but the worst thing is... he wanted my sister to admit the things she didn't do...and he knew that my sister couldn't live without him so he left to make my sister's life miserable...is it right???can you give justice for this situation...I'm confused if all men thinks like this..now I'm scared of getting married...he changed into worst...a nightmare for us...especially for my dad whom i love so much...doh
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Comments (10)

integrity82
integrity82●Astana, Kazakhstan
Nov 23, 2009●2 Blogs●7 Comments
#1
confused don't know what to say... we all wish our close people to be happy always, but sometimes there is not much we can do. you can only pray for them
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jayjaywaiting
jayjaywaiting●dublin, Dublin Ireland
Nov 23, 2009●13 Blogs●27 Comments
#2
Once someone has been unfaithful to there partner it is a very hard task for them to ever trust them again .... unfaithfulness by one causes a lot of hurt and betrayal. sometimes two people manage to patch there realationship and move on ... but this does not stop the thoughts of what happened coming back to them every so often and unfortunatly some people never get back together again...

But I do believe that when he has had time to calm down from the shock of what had happened he may decide to give your sister a second chance... but she needs to give him time and hopefully he will relise that he still loves her and will go back to her.

I hope it all works out for the better for them both and that they do get back together.



regards jayJay
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filipina32single
filipina32singleOP●Caloocan, Metro Manila Philippines
Nov 23, 2009●12 Blogs●57 Comments
#3
By the way..i'd like to say thank you to all who extend their effort to post a comment in this blog and regards to those who read this.. please dont be shy to share what's on ur mind...i really need help now...dunno
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bay163
bay163●san mateo, California USA
Nov 24, 2009●4 Blogs●50 Comments
#4
Hi, I dont think there is anything you can do because you say your brother in law is a drug using gambler and womanizer, your sister got mad and told him her past now he is acting in character with his quality, alot of guys like him find a new woman and disapear anyway, your family is taking it hard but should have seen it coming and it was your sisters choice to marry this guy so sorry it is happening but you should of course be there to help the children deal with this situation, be stong and stay positive this might end up being for the best because he can not be a good role model for the children and maybe it is best he goes on his way.
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how1e
how1e●NRW, Nordrhein-Westfalen Germany
Nov 24, 2009●7 Blogs●346 Comments
#5
Ah..........well that makes it slightly different, you didnt tell the whole story in your original post. Well I have a long term Chinese g/f and I have been to Manila a few times, although Im not going to claim to understand Philippines social culture to any great extent. However the stupid idea that men can do what they want and women can't will persist for as long as people like you and your sister allow it to. He sounds like a complete waste of space who should be ditched quickly. The other observation I would make is that I realise you are all "God fearing", (although why you would need to 'fear' a benevolent God is beyond me), however you need to learn that God is selectively deaf and he will not come running to your aid. Everyone whose plane is crashing from the sky or who is suffering from terminal cancer or whose child is dying prays.....and quite simply, it doesnt work.
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Ben_45_00
Ben_45_00●Baku, Azerbaijan
Nov 24, 2009
#6
Hey !!! why your sister is so bothered about a man who himself is enjoying outside marriage and feels his wife should not.Your sister should be happy that she is going to be out of a disastrous relationship.She should find out a man who is considerate and takes his wife as equal.
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calmheartseeks
calmheartseeks●Somewhere, California USA
Nov 24, 2009●6 Blogs●1,531 Comments
#7
He is deeply hurt and no longer trusts your sister, so now he is suspicious of even more things he is afraid she may have done. He left to force her to own up to these things, or to save his pride. I don't know what you mean by "do all men think like this now". Try to see it from his point of view...his children are not his, and he thought they were for 13 years. Give him time to heal and rebuild his trust in your sister. If he refuses to give her another chance, that happens when there is betrayal this deep in a marriage, as terribly sad as it is. There is no reason for you to be afraid of getting married...you are a different person and hopefully will marry someone you can trust and who can trust you. hug No one on this site knows if your sister's marriage can be saved...that depends on the foundational love between her and her husband and if it is worth saving. teddybear If he really loves her, he will want to forgive her, but the wound is deep and fresh. It seems to me from your post your family is siding with your sister and he is the bad guy...just an observation that may not be true. I believe that God answers prayers in His wisdom, which is very difficult for us to understand but need to trust. There are people who will tell you prayers never get answered, and those that tell you they have received miraculous answers. I hope it all works out for the best for you and your sister. hug
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sultryash
sultryash●Bridgetown, Saint Michael Barbados
Nov 25, 2009●10 Blogs●48 Comments
#8
When trust is broken in a relationship that relationship cannot work, in some cases it takes alot of effort and understanding and LOVE to be able to forgave, forget and move on . However, not everyone is capable. It is best that she moves on, i agree with her for coming clean, its hard to live a lie, there is a saying" speak the truth and cause it what it will" she must have given thought to that before she told him. He is hurting, but from what you said, he too isn't any sweet bread...he has his share of indiscretions too, and all he can focus on is his pain, not fair but that's the world we live in and we are humans. My thing is, its better for her to move on...put some time and space between the two of them, it makes no sense .........she may only end up having to always seek his forgiveness, an d eventually she may end up resenting him.
It could very well into a perpetual thing year after year and that not healthy for her or her kids.
I do hope that when the dust settles one of them has the maturity to make the welfare of their kids more important in the end.

Take care and i hope it work out for ll of you.

P.S. it may be wise for you to take an objective stance on this if you can. she being your sister my cloud your judgment ......she needs and he needs someone to take a neutral stance and tell both of them without bias feelings what they need to do....JMO
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lovely4u7da
lovely4u7da●chicago, Illinois USA
Nov 25, 2009●11 Blogs●194 Comments
#9
He has come to face what he has been ditching out he just did not think it would be with the mother of his son`s what you plant you will pull up eventuallysad flower
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Kasih
Kasih●Jakarta, Indonesia
Nov 28, 2009●102 Blogs●1,482 Comments
#10
well dear she did have that relationship with another man..
and what did ur sis expect? that her husband will forgive her?
she made a wise choice by admitting her mistakes but she cant tell her husband how to react but she could take the consequences of her doing and move on even if it means ending
Hun, marriage is confusing and scary and unpredictable because it involved two different characters. We sumtimes cant even tell our very self how to behave so we have no power how ever to have control of our partnet.
But if you stick to the commitment and the holly matrimony it is easier for you to solve problems that is coming your way.

take careteddybear
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