How do you do to forget? To not miss anymore?

It's been exactly 8 years already, and I still can't seem to move on. Yeah, I move on, on the outside, new people, new relationships, but still no one that compares to her.

"I've turned away from you, and now I am Godless".

Shit man, how do you cope? How do you move on? Srsly. How? When?
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Comments (22)

If you have a choice to give your own brain a name, what name would you chose ?
@1_SPCTR Woah, that is the oddest question anyone has ever asked to me. I don't even know how to answer it!
@Crest: That's exactly what I've been doing for these last 8 years (and more) ! haha but thanks for the advice mate!cheers
Have you tried seeing her, talking to her...may be the vision in your head has nothing to do with what she is now... Sometimes we do idealise someone just to find out later they are not what we think of them...
You are pretty young and 8 years ago has been the age when everything in love is dramatic and forever...
Just a thought...
Hi pKrema; I haven't tried seeing her because I moved over 10k miles away from her, and no, I don't dare to even talk to her. I guess she's moved on, I wouldn't want to interfere in her current life.

But I'm more than sure she's still the ideal she's always been to me. I am really sure.
Hi What...
I do understand you perfectly...
10K km is a serious "moving" but obviously just "away" and not "on"...
You see the situation from your own perspective, but you probably avoid thinking what it looked like from her side of the fence... She moved on, I suppose she didn't try to contact you either...
She was ideal for you but were you ideal for her?! hmmm
One likes to believe we are! haha, I am laughing just not to cry. Of course it wasn't a good thing from me to go away so faraway. I''m more than sure I didn't deserve so much beauty, but anyway, that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt me that I don't have her anymore.
Comparison in love is a terrible thing...
No one is better than our ideal...
Not knowing what happened I can only presume...
Whatever made you run so far away is holding the key to your unwillingness to move on...
Just be happy for her, wherever she is, whatever she does...and allow yourself some happiness too...
I am not saying it's easy but it is very much possible...
If she wanted you back she would have found a way to do it...never underestimate a woman who loves...
Thanks String! That was an awesome tune, nice lyrics too :)

pKrema: When did I compare anyone to anything? I'm not quite understanding? confused

To make it simple, maybe I didn't state myself properly: I never said anyone is better or worse than my ideal. I guess different people have different views on romance and stuff.
What happened is that I wasn't ready for something serious, I wasn't. And I had some other unresolved issues which led me to end the relationship, mostly for the best of her. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to miss her, does it?
I am happy for her, I never said I wasn't. I was just trying to get an idea (or anyone's personal experience) on how to move on; that's all.

I never implied she wanted me back either. And I never understimated aynone either, neither a woman or a man. I don't think love is related in any way to our gender. wine
Only love, can break a heart, only love can meeeeeend it agaaaaaaiiinnnnnnn... guitar dancing
I am sorry if I didn't get you right, as I said I am only guessing...
But not being able or not willing to move on is a result of everything I mentioned already...
Are you sure you are honest with yourself?!
I am not attacking you but trying to understand you better... handshake
pKrema: No worries! I never felt attacked in any way, just a bit confused kiss

Maybe me not willing to move on is just a result of her being a fantastic human being in my life, maybe not the only one, but one special enough to be not so easy to find again?

Haha, that's something I cannot really honestly answer, isn't it? How do we know if we're honest to ourselves? Can we be objective with things such as the heart and feelings? I guess we can see the reality of what happened and base our opinion on that, but I'm not sure about 'being honest with myself'. I know I'm honest, or I try to be. I'm not so sure about being honest with myself; I should ask myself if I consider me or myself honest! laugh
What,
I know the feeling...and I am preaching to you knowing very well how hard is all this to achieve...
It is possible to be honest with yourself, I am sure you've had these moments of complete, awakening sobriety...
But the best is yet to come and even if this statement brings little to no excitement at this moment it will come sooner or later, when you open the doors to welcome it...
beer
Thank you so much pKrema! I hope that is the case :) cheers
Hi, the only way as I see it is for you to go see her.
Tell her that she was on your mind and you wanted to know if she was happy.
Plain and simple. You may be surprised in several ways.
The only way for you is to go and find out.
If not, you will always be wondering. handshake wave Jenny
Im only guessing but i thi k its a case of 'what if'....what if i had been ready....what if i didnt break up with her...what if i hadnt moved away.

We all have what ifs....i think the idea of her is more tempting than the having of her.


Move on....find some hobbies...interests...build up your own life and love yourself....then see ifyou think about her as much as you do now

If you still do..then go after her.... but u better be sure you want it all the second time around...and not two weeks in get cold feet again.
don't know you but I think your flogging a d dead horse let go and live some your not a teenager
You plant your feet firmly in the now...accept what is and go forward one day and one step at a time.....cheers
Normally I would say give it time but time seems to be the thing here. What your doing now don't seem to be working. Drugs and drinking only go so far but the misery still stays.

Not sure what to suggest, maybe a little vacation somewhere away from the same surroundings, probably make up a list of reasons why things didn't work out and have a look at it whenever you start missing her.

I feel for ya man, when you really like someone, its hard to let go.
wave

Well what name would you chose if you have a chance ? Lol
It's hard to move on when you don't have closure....when you want to talk more to the person you care about and hash out the issues.

The only way a person can have closure and go to the next step in their life, is have the courage to talk to the person, even after that person has moved on to another relationship.

Having that courage to talk to the person, is the hardest thing in this life, but the most rewarding......She may be experiencing the same pain, because she too didn't have closure, even if she is in another relationship.

Pray about this, and allow God to give you the courage and resilience to have healing in your life and guide you to the next step. With God all things are possible, if you believe.
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created Dec 2018
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