Wish I could turn back the clock..

But I know I can't. I am realistic about Life. But I think it is okay to wish.

Yesterday my oldest daughter got married. The legal part of it. The actual wedding is in two months.
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I went to the cemetery in the morning and laid flowers on three graves. My Dad, my late husband and my late parents in law. I was asking myself why I was doing it. Of course I miss them and wish they were here. But more than that I am forever grateful for them being a part of my life.

I didn't mention her of her dad. I just wanted her to be happy. So it was a secret visit to the ones who passed.

I joined CS after my husband's passing. It was a difficult time. There are lots of people who have been kind to me here. I won't mention names. Though we don't talk often on blogs, I am forever grateful to all the wonderful people. You helped me to move on.

Welela, Wallops, KN, Sands. Even Ian who are not in CS any longer. Thank you for your kindness and understanding. I hope all of you are keeping healthy and happy.

Of course there was a troll or two I got to know. Somehow you came to my mind RC. Funny, I feel you will read this.

Life goes on. People come in to our lives for reasons, seasons and life times. Even death does not seem to part the one I once loved, married and had children with. I think it is natural to think of him and feel his absence on days like these.

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Wish he was there standing by my side.
sigh
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Comments (46)

Thank you Track.bouquet Hope you are good!
I'm ok, I think I am, . . . I'm assuming I am, . . . . well I'm just gonna pretend I am grin grin grin

I wish you all the best Usha hug bouquet smile
Your daughter is beautiful applause and when children go on to next stage of their life, I think it's natural to think back over and remember loved people who have passed on to another stage too.

Who ever said parenting was easy conversing but saying that a joy too.

I send warm hugs lovely lady hug hug
Such a bitter-sweet time for you, usha. I'm sure the loved ones you visited would have been touched by your gesture. It's seems awfully unfair at times this thing called life.

On to happier thoughts....I bet you had a blast over recent weeks. I hope we're able to get a peek at some of that clothes shopping you must have done. wink
Usha, your daughter is beautiful, as is her mother bouquet

I am glad you got support on CS. Sometimes we forget, with all the discord which can be here, that it can also be a supportive, fun, community.

I hope you have good fun at the wedding when it happens wine
Usha, doh your daughter should have known getting married would bring back sad memories for you sad flower and stayed a spinster for life, kids.....who'd have em wink laugh
Usha

Time to reflect...many people come and go but our memories of them survive...thankful of their influence...another generation lives on...thinking of you and your loved ones...hug
thanks for sharing the story.

sometimes people leave before all the made plans happened.
Or that you have to execute alone all the lessons learned by two.

Being the last one to carry on all the shared memories is a heavy burden.

and congratulations in having again a man/boy in the family.
You'll do great
usha, I attended my nephew's wedding a year ago and one seat remained empty. In it was a photo of his mother who passed away 2 years ago.
That is a lovely gesture Chat.

As long as my daughter can handle his absence I can keep my gratitude and respect in my heart and air it in CS when my heart is heavy.
Very beautiful daughter indeed, it is wonderful for parents to see their children happy.

I know it is hard going to the cemetary but if it makes you feel better then it is worth it. I'm not very good at it.
Thank you Len.hug

It is a heavy burden indeed. But I think it is my cross to carry. Or the script written for me. As long as my character is killed in this script, I will play the part. I think. grin
Fay, it is not easy. But I like the space and privacy I have in the cemetery to talk to these people and say I miss them.

I don't like to cry on good days. It will make others unhappy.
Thank you Lou! bouquet You have been kind to me in few occasions at difficult times here.grin
Zman, if only they know how hard is married life. laugh And the costs of a wedding.doh

Kids indeed. I don't know what I was thinking.rolling on the floor laughing
Molly, I give the other three money and ask them to elope.laugh This was only a registration of a marriage to about 40 guests. I am dead tired and fun was the last thing that was on my mind. I don't want to think of the two weddings.crying
Hiya Roguehug I returned on 22nd. Then this. All I want is a good day of rest and sleep. Not going to happen like. blues

You all good ?
hug
Red, thank you dear lady. I remember you and you have been very nice to me when I joined CS. You disappeared few times but it's always good to see you around.bouquet
Thank you Robby real. bouquet
Track I can join you to pretend to be good. Okay we are both good now.grin

hug
Hi ush, yeah, life's just dandy. Back to Indonesia tomorrow for a couple of months which pleases me. And I finished that travel blog website thingy.

I'll be in touch.lips
Hi usha wave really touching blog post. Thank you for sharing and hope life is good to you.

hug
Take care and be good Rogue!

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lips
Usha, congrats, one hopes. Perhaps cultural differences come into play here, but my 21 year old girls and most of their friends are in no hurry at all for things we couldn't wait for. A driver's license and marriage are two. Not complaining, mind you.
Hi Usha,

Your daughter is beautiful like her mother!

Enjoy this time with your daughter! Also think of the possible grandchildren she may bear for you!hug bouquet
Whenever, Thank you. hug bouquet

I hope you are getting better by the day and being strong and fighting. I can't wait to hear the good news you beaten the monster. teddybear
Thank you kind gentle man.hug bouquet

You have been nice to me always. Hope all is well with you.teddybear
Congrats, usha, one hopes. Our 21 YO girls and friends are in NO hurry to have things we couldn't wait for. Marriage and driver's licenses are two. Not complaining, mind you.
V, she's 28. Not so young for a woman.laugh By 27 I had four children. doh Then there was my dumb factor. I don't know what I was thinking. I so badly wanted a son. Rather my in laws and my husband.

Thank you! I only hope she knows it's not easy. grin
Yes, usha, generational differences exist as well. I was married that early, and happily, we were too young and had no kids. Simple divorce. Our twins came in their Mom and my late fourties----better in every possible way, but we all still make mistakes sometimes as parents. Both of our girls are decent human beings. Grateful.
You've a beautiful daughter Usha....
may she and hers have a long and happy fulfilling life wine

I think you were right not to mention your visit to the grave to her..... sometimes smiling through such sadness is in the best interest for others... Good on you for being the thoughtful mum teddybear

wave
Usha,

I got a turning point two days ago, so I know what you are talking about......and when it happen, you start to think about all what has happen in your life....and you wish, that the one you have lost could be with you and sharing the experience.......I got from my Son, the information, that we are going to get two more family members.....means twins.........the to be Mother is a very beautiful and nice person and I loved to get her into our family......and guess what, she is born in Sri Lanka, but as a wealthy family, her Father took the family to Canada, when she was about 10 years old, as the war was closing in on the place, where they had their home......so we have something in common you and me, as my to be Grandsons are going to be mix Finnish and Sri Lankansthumbs up

And all the best to your Daughter in her future life....and I am sure, that somebody is going to be very happy to get her as Wife. teddybear
Bekard, my daughter married a Tamil guy. He is from the area you are talking about. My daughter has a Sinhalese name. Luckily my children don't understand the deep rooted enmity between these two races as they didn't grow up here.

Congratulations to you and your family on twin joy. bouquet
Itchy, I kind of know you are a mother who puts up a brave face every time that is needed. I think we have no other option on that.

Thank you very much for your kind wishes. bouquet hug
V, I have made enough mistakes as a parent. grin
"Hello Miss Usha...How Are You?"


All I Can Say Is"...."Time Marches On Miss Usha"

"Time Marches On"


"It Only Seems Like Yesterday That My Son Was Born"

"And He'll Be 39"..... "The 29th Of This Month".......................detective
These days I wish time does a kind of a slow march. But it seems to fly in light speed.mumbling

Wish him a happy 39th from me Nam. Through tears and smiles you keep looking out for each other. Hope you have recovered well from the surgery.bouquet
"You Can Look Back And..... "See The Past"

"You Can Even Go Back And..... "Feel The Past"

"But... You Can Never Go Back And... "Be The Past"........................detective
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usha123

usha123

Colombo, Western, Sri Lanka

Flux is the only word that would describe me realistically. I save the gibberish for later. [read more]

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created Jan 2019
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