Perfect match - but which one?
Let's call him A (for Adventure
) he's around 50, a good technician, will never have a problem finding a job, right now he's up for technical manager at his company with one other candidate and feeling increasingly stressed. He and his wife used to do a lot of hiking, and he wants to quit the job and go hiking for a month in the mountains to re-set his head. The route he's looking at has scattered villages but there would also be some nights they'd have to camp out. His wife, a full-time housewife, takes a little persuading. She leaves all the route-planning and arrangements up to him but finds out all the kit they will need, buys it, packs it, and sorts their iron rations. They’ll be limited to a 40kg load – it is understood he will carry the 30kg backpack, she the 10kg one. He will pitch the tent on the nights they sleep out, sort the campsite (including lighting the fire), she will cook nutritious meals, make chunky sandwiches for each following day, and warm his sleeping bag at night. She's genuinely looking forward to it.
Or
His wife is completely up for it, and gets her employers to agree she can take the month off. They study the route together, shop together, and will carry equal 20kg packs. They’ll share all the chores and take it in turns to lead the climb, and since good sleep is essential, they will pitch their tents alongside each other on the nights they sleep out
Or
She tells him he’s insane and simply reacting to stress at the office. If he ducks out now he will never recover the ground he’s about to lose, all the time he has invested in his career so far will be put back years. She suggests instead that he go for a weekend hike with a friend from his climbing group.
Or
She says oh, okay, when will you go? Enjoy yourself!
Which wife would he want – and, maybe a different answer, which wife does he need?
(For those who think I use CS only for book research, yes and no - this isn't a book in the making but yup, genuinely interested in what people think)
Comments (101)
For me it would be between A and B
If she were A, then there would be kids who come into the equation which changes the dynamic of everything. Or is there such a thing as a fulltime housewife without there being kids to look after?
I would go for B but with the shared sleeping bag. If stress-reduction is required, there is no better way than a bonk a night
I keep thinking C is the most sensible and maybe the one he should have - it intrigued me enough to put it out there.
Where she sends him off for a weekend with friends?
Nah.
If the man feels like a one-month hike, and a break from the rat-race, he should do it. He knows himself what he needs to do work-wise. It is his job and life after all.
20kg is very light to carry by the way :-)
C or D
Molly
I was trying to separate the traditional partner from the modern one, also the traditional behind-every-man to the modern space-in-marriage - you know what, this should perhaps have gone on a poll
Hoping to coax a few male opinions on here though
20kg is heavy!
I was thinking of my bag being a 26 litre one, but I don't put 20kg weight into it
You don't have to be a traditional partner to be a supportive one. If by traditional one means the woman not working outside the home, and having his slippers and pipe ready for him when he gets home.
A woman who also works understands the day to day stresses of the working environment much more than somebody who doesn't, and thus can relate to it better.
I've been using 40kg permixed concrete bags at work this wk. 30 plus bags an approx 20 or more to go. Looking after a clients goats an sheep with new sheds and walkways etc
I've hugged goats today.
I'm not actually thinking any of the wife options automatically bad, they could all be very successful partnerships. The BAD partner would accuse him of selfishness and trying to ruin her life, and nag nag nag until he either caved and stayed on the job or they split up - no?
and I've never hugged a goat - I rather like them, but they give me odd looks, I would feel it a liberty
You'd be sweet.
Animals are so beautiful.
What I would do if I were the 'wife'. (I hate saying that word in a sentence with I
A to D only
Not what my mum taught me when it comes to respect
Maybe I should ignore women
Cause mums way doesn't work anymore
Tell him some things worth waiting for
I mean the traditional good-wifey image
I love organising and planning, and nookie
Your so funny
Don't fret.
I like teasing
I've not met any woman that is as accepting as my mum
Stuck by her man for 60 or so years
My dad is a chovanist pig.
Yet my mum is so loving
I talked wiv me ma tonight.
I called her
She's bed ridden now.
We laughed lots. .
Then ask to chat wiv me dad.
He's such a sour face.
I used to cook his meals when mum was in hospital or on holiday. From the age of 7 to 18.
He never said thank you.
And still like that now.
Complains about doing what mum did for 50 or more yrs for him.
An she worked in a job too
An men complain they got it hard.
I hate beated egg in my pie
You cannot find someone like your mum, that's a different kind of love. But maybe after your dads example you will for sure make a better man
So just dump everything in, and hope for the best?
Can beans
Can mixed spicy beans
Fried mushrooms
Fried onions
Fried celery
All mixed together with brown pasta shells
Put into tureens and liberally sprinkled with grated cheese
Topped with smoked paprika
For me it’s elements of the first and second.
I’d like to do some of cooking, chores and I’d definitely want togertheness at night. Equal weights of back pack and so on would depend on relative strength and fitness.
I like building tents and I like planning routes etc, but if she wants to do it...I won’t stop her.
I don’t think any of your alternatives can be so clear-cut as you have stated Biff
You would let me?
What the heck does that mean? :
Now, I’ll have you know I’m a 1/64th innocent, sort of respectable kind of guy in my own mind.
I’m also faithful and devoted, half drunk and I never lie if I don’t have to.
Sometimes I lose the plot, its helpful(and annoying) to have someone point it out.
I like that she's trying to help him maintain what he's accomplished, while offering less destructive solutions. They may well end up back at the taking a month off point, but it's worth having the "Have you lost your mind?" conversation.
A relationship that can't navigate those types of conversations, isn't really marriage/life partner level relationship for me.
I guess it also depends on the personalities involved.
If the man had never hiked, nor shown any interest in hiking before, the wife might know that a month's hiking trip would be a disaster.
So a gentle 'Why don't you go away for a weekend with your friends' might solve the problem.
I am a woman who has a full time job. I know what kind of stress we might have at work and how to deal with it.
He needs a month to re-set his head..???
Geeezzz..
I am the-third-type partner. If he needs a week, then that would be ok. A month..?? I don't think I will choose that kind of man as my partner in the first place.
I liked the directness, without ignoring that he likely needed at least a change of scenery for a few days.
Without that bit I might have read "C" as possibly being bossy and self interested, but she expressed concern for him losing hard won ground, and offered an alternative.