My Personal Mission Statement
I'll do good deeds like changing your tire...and for twenty bucks I'll even tighten the lug nuts.If I find a lost wallet, I promise to drop it in a mailbox after taking only half of the money.
I'll pray for the godless heathens....but I'm not sure who or what to pray to since I'm a godless heathen.
I'd climb the highest mountain and swim the widest river...to get on the Maury Povich show.
If I ever get superpowers, I promise to use them for good and to fight for truth, justice...ah who am I kidding, I'm gonna use them to get laid.
I'll gladly trade my proverbial fifteen minutes of fame for a three minute rub-and-tug at a 'Palm' Beach massage parlor.
*Nods to Robert Kraft*
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