Clarify for me?

So I have old fashioned morals and principles...I cant help it..it is who I am and yet I find myself adrift in this new weird world of dating or what I think of as dating.
A little background in order to understand, I'm nearly 50 years old. I have had 2 long term relationships both 10 years the rest of the time single..so now I find myself wishing and wanting to share time with a man again so on a friends suggestion trying a 'dating site'. I'm at a loss to understand the mind games and untruths..when did it all become all about sex?? ok I hear you say...old fashioned...yes I am but I would like to take the time to get to know a person by personality before I jump into bed with them..oh and I'm not a Jennifer Aniston or Michelle Phiefer look alike...I'm a real woman with curves...do men really just want a play thing to be discarded when the sweet shop opens again ?? If I sound angry I dont mean to be...just want to understand so I can get off the rolller-coaster

Comments (43)

why do you think you need a man to live

in this world?
at least, you came with something new. I mean, this site is deadlaugh
Eli angel
It's good you decided to get married. thumbs up
You're A mature lady and you know and understand.
Look for the real person and get with him. hug
Have good time here. bouquet
teddybear peace
Hello Elizablu wave
I see you´ve followed my advice to come on the blogs? Or.. maybe it was just a last try before leaving?

Anyway... don´t think that you are "old fashioned" as there are many others like you here on this site - I included!

From my 5 years experience here, yes, I must admit, I have encountered many "`players", "scammers", etc..
But... I have also met - virtually and in person - some genuine ones who would also like to be in a relationship.

You are right to want to take time to get to know someone first. And I also know some men who want the same.

Maybe you just haven´t met the right one yet? dunno
Methinks, me Lord, the Lady doth protest too much.
There is enough to think for everybody, that are serious and have good principles......and most of the time, "WHY" is popping up in the mindconfused

But the biggest problem is not anymore with the Scammers, or the players.....the biggest problem is, that you don't trust even the good once anymoredoh
Didn't you have a thread about that same topic, with the same wording recently?
dunno
That's right Pk..and I suggested that it might be better on the blogs..?dunno
I doubt she'll get different responses on here Dani...
If one isn't happy with the answers, they might need to change the question...
wave
You do not need to apologize to anyone for your views about sex. You are entitled to have any views you want and nothing you have said about any of your own views is anywhere near unusual even for "these times."

But more information is needed to analyze your question correctly.

When you say it's "all about sex," what do you mean?

Do you mean you have met men on dating sites in person and then all they seem interested in is sex?

Or do you mean all they want to talk about BEFORE you meat them (communication online) is sex?

Or do you mean men you meet online are "all about sex," so you don't even want to meet them in person?

Or do you mean that men you meet online don't talk about sex BEFORE you meet them but then are "all about sex," AFTER you meet them?

Or do you mean men talk about sex online and THEN you meet them and it's "all about sex?"

You can't trust anything you discuss with someone on the Internet, it's all fantasy. But in person, it's something different.

So can you clarify what you mean?
Diamond,

don't start sophistry here....we all know what she mean and she is exact to the pointscold
Diamond...I like your multiple choice questionnaire laugh

Are you sure you haven't forgotten any other scenario?

In a way you're right...we need more details for better clarification?
Some of those questions are logical partial duplicates. That's what happens when you are working out and typing at the same time. But I think the gist of my question is clear.
It seems that all you want to talk about is sex, Diamond; you are obviously the type of man elizablu is complaining about. scold
daniela,

you can try to be friends with everybody.....no problems......but she has clarify for sure enough what she means......and the views she is coming out with are enough clear and I have no problems to understand, what is her points.

A very good blogthumbs up thumbs up thumbs up
Harbal,

good, you are very right.....and everybody, that are running with sex, as so important are going to act as picky in their comments.
harbal wrote:
It seems that all you want to talk about is sex, Diamond; you are obviously the type of man elizablu is complaining about.


bekard wrote:
good, you are very right.....and everybody, that are running with sex, as so important are going to act as picky in their comments.


Is that right?

I have now posted at least hundreds of posts on this site. Show me 5 examples from different blogs where I talked about sex in any conversation that wasn't about sex already.

And I posted 25 blogs. Show me one blog that is about sex. The only thing remotely close is one blog about pregnancy. It has nothing to do with the kind of s*xual talk this woman is talking about

So I'll tell you what.

Why don't the two of you Rhodes Scholars try your best and let's see what you come up with to show any evidence at all that I do what you are accusing me of.

Otherwise I will expect an apology from both of you for your disgusting false accusations.
ok ..to .clarify for those unsure of my meaning....so I have been in long term relationships before the age of dating sites...god I sound old as the hills now....hahaha...I have been single a while ...and now using dating sites for 4 years...I DONT NEED a man to live my life....but it would be nice to share times with a man....I dont want to jump into bed with someone I have just met or barely know...thats just not how I do things...My question came about after a realisation that the majority of men i have chatted to...either get bored fast if the conversation doesnt lead to sex chat...or even if the chatting went really well for a while upon meeting Im not what they were looking for...thats fine ...each to their own...but its the lack of respect that really has me peaved....I posted this really out of curiousity to see if there were normal thoughts out there in some people....no need for the degrading and spitful comments...that it recieved on the forum...so thanks for the suggestion to try a blog....I shall keep a light in my window that one day a truely decent male human being with a heart will some day see
Diamond,

your comment here tell enough.

Take care.
Not sure where to go with that. It's too general a question.

Are some men only or mainly interested in sex? Yes.

Are more men likely to talk about sex anonymously on the Internet than in person. Yes

Is every guy you actually meet in person going to be interested in a long term relationship? No

Is it possible that some guy you meet might actually be interested in a long term relationship? Yes

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. There are no shortcuts. It's hard work. And in the end it may never happen. There is a large element of fate. You either have to take the risks or decide it isn't worth it and be a loner. There is no shame in either choice.
Elisa..thanks for the explanation.
I can relate to what you describe here and understand perfectly well how you feel.

Well...I'm afraid that's the internet for you.sigh
Diamond, your strenuous, lengthy denial rather gives the game away; typical response of the guilty conscience. My advice is to simply apologise for your inappropriate behaviour and try to learn a lesson from your mistake. There are plenty of websites for men with tastes such as yours, please don't try to change this into one of them.
Your frustrations are felt by many.

Hold onto those old fashion morals and values.

It's not so bad being alone.

What would be bad is if you allow desperation to allow you to do things you will regret.

My motto is i need to know a man and that he is compatible with me before i even think of sharing body fluids.wave
@herbal and @bekard

As I suspected neither of you have any evidence whatsoever to back up your false and lascivious accusations about me.

And it appears you both also lack the decency to offer an apology.

I will let the readers judge your characters for themselves.
You don't have to jump straight in at the deep end with the sharing of body fluids, LaFonda. Perhaps start with licking one another's face and gradually progress to higher liquid content activities as you get to know each other better.
You may have your suspicions, Diamond, but where is your proof that we can't back up our false and lascivious accusations about you? I will concede on one point though; you are right about me lacking the decency to offer an apology.
rolling on the floor laughing WTF Harbal.
I had an intriguing ride home one night after an older gentleman gave me a gaze that made me blush from my head to my toes.
He leaned over to give me the first
( And last!) kiss goodnight,gently cradled my face and then.....

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Licked my nostrils..WTF!

Honest to God Harbal do men ever stop
with the ludicrous things they imagine.

I seriously doubt it.Shock value goes a long ways with aligning yourself with a partner.I try to never imagine what other people call coupling.
rolling on the floor laughing
Harbal TMI.tongue
There's not really much to explain, you're grown, you know these answers.


Some people suck, some don't.

In the dating pool after 40, the ratios aren't ideal.


Some people just want sex, attention, money.

Some want loving long term relationships.

Many will pretend to want the latter in pursuit of the former.


Many who would like long term relationships, don't forgo sex while they look.


You don't really want me to tell you, at nearly 50, to hang in there and just be yourself do you?


I don't think this blog was a question at all.

I think it's a marketing statement.


"Non slut, who's so not a slut she stays with men she f*ck for a decade at least and is only here because her "friend " sent her, seeks actual human male that is not just a walking p*nis like most men are."


You need a new P.R. team.



Welcome to CS.

Don't talk to Limun.

He's a huge slut.
Ocee, you are a breath of fresh air laugh

Stop leaving scold

And I love Lim the slut too grin
People seem to think it's cute when puppies do it, ash, so I just thought.......dunno
Boban yay Ocee.thumbs up
There's your range of CS possibilities!rolling on the floor laughing
Either gender.wink
Elegsabiff
Everyone is broken

Some are more broken than others, but everyone is. So perfect isn't an option, here or anywhere else. If you find someone you like who likes you, you're ahead of the game and can either deal with the damage or step carefully round it for as long as the togetherness lasts dunno
Yes, I think this woman's question is vague. And yes I think it's more about being frustrated than actually not understanding things. But I think she is sincere and trying to have some conversation.

Does she really deserve such callous criticism? I find it obnoxious to respond to her the way several people have here.

I've seen far worse on the Internet, but I would expect people who are regulars on a site like this to have more decency and compassion than that -- especially those who sell themselves as decent and compassionate. It belies their claims to write what they have written here. Some people are fakes, phonies and frauds, and I think they have exposed themselves here quite clearly.
How do Eli and welcome to the blogs wine
completely agree, these days its all about hankie pankie and who's up for a spankie ...

Lordy I hate that word... note to self, wash me mouth out with soap and water before bed barf from

As for whats happened to love and romance......
people don't need love from anyone anymore simply because their so much in love with themselves... whats the bets if people could hump themselves sex would become dated as well, as in being old fashioned conversing

G'luck in finding someone before you become fifty wine
because if you do not, once you turn it, you never will.
question or observation?? does it matter really...it feels like im being slated for some sort of nievity when really i just wanted to voice an opinion and see where it went...well now I see...i will keep my values I aint changeing who I am for no body...and if that means I will end up a lonely old soul...so be it....but I will be the true me and not a fake version of a human...there is a sorry state the world is going into and I think there is a need for alot of folks to wake up to that before we all end up ruining our existance...peace out..heart beating
Eliza, turning 50 is no big deal. I get more action now than I ever did in my 20's 30's or 40's. It's about being comfortable in your own skin. Stick to your guns head banger
Do you expect people to read what you need? to provide a service to you?

I'm willing to read to better sell what i want to sell.
I m even tryin to push aside to drawbacks, the sizes and history.

So if you are willing to take my john, i can repeat to you what you need and wipe aside what you are.

Sound rough but i like a woman with curves and is natural and confident. It is better than fake to impress those that only care for the eye and not for the person.
and who would you love, that ideal both of you didn't plan, No no, just be you, and i'll just like the real conversation we have. I also have my insecurities that only few will learn.

But i'm here to find people that are real, and it is easy to see them, those that don't cover up.
It is so hard, we are so lonely together,
can't you understand i have this one thing,
Are you sure you are waiting?
Maybe us two is just so close. in thinking, it is.
I'm scared and are you, can we both share the risk? you can't imagine the risk i take.
This is so much more serious than i thought.
cswelcome danceline balloons
Welcome to CS elizablu!!! Hope you find what you are looking for.
emmy1
Gee thanks itchy, being well over 50 that made my dayrolling on the floor laughing

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