I'm conflicted
I'm conflicted about the idea of getting emotionally involved with at man. There are sacrifices that must be made when one becomes half of a unit. Looking back, I realize that with every partnering, I've had to give up a part of myself. Sure, I just haven't met "the right one", but how many times must I fail?I have always compartmentalized things to keep things simpler. Two FB pages. Many CS accounts. The work me and the home me. Just so family and co-workers are safe from my real thoughts, the ones that make people uncomfortable. To allow a partner to know all of me is a frightening thought.
So, my conflict is with loneliness and freedom from worry of those I become attached to. Then there's the investment of time and emotions that make me want to continue with relationship that clearly wasn't working.
So, today, I'm on the fence for trying it again. Im prepared to climb off the fence but the fear is overwhelming. Sometimes I'm certain I'm not cut out for it. Then, the selfish, lonely me wants to give it a try.
Conflicted
Comments (22)
Save it for when the time is right and it is a potential issue.
Plenty of time to anguish then.
Why do you feel anguish in a relationship? Just be you, changes will come automatically if your meant to be together.
Trying too hard and thinking too deeply in how you should be, or what you give up, is doomed.
Most people start relationships out of selfish reasons.
why don't you do that?
If the relationship is going on a road you don't like, get off at the next stop.
Never get too emotionally involve with a man.
Those emotions should build up over time (years).
Enjoy the ride and be smart to know when the rise is over to get off.
In the last seven years I have had four meaningful relationships. With three of them, there was that little warning voice, you know the one, nagging away in the depths of my mind. The relationships were each working fine until one day, I began to compromise. Then I compromised more, and more and finally, I bailed. See, I should have listened to that little voice, I knew I should but I didn't. So if you hear that voice you have to make a decision.
I need to say here that I learned a lot, in each relationship I learned many things or was reminded of things I'd forgotten and needed to update and bring back into my life. So! Was it a loss? Absolutely not because in the next relationship, I will listen for the voice. If it is there, I will know this will never be long term, if the voice is not there, I will continue, happy in the knowledge that I have learned so much, will learn a lot more and, have a lot more to give.
Nothing is ever a failure, it is only ever another opportunity to learn stuff you need to know and you should never beat yourself up about needing to change the man. Once you start to compromise, get out. Voila.
being alone in a relationship is soul destroying. try not to worry in advance, and make your choices as you need to. pick yourself. making large compromises serves to keep you from being authentic. jmho.