When Solitaire's the only game in town
More and more people in their 30s and 40s are choosing to be alone, to have a social network but no partner and no lasting ties. Most people on their own would rather have someone to go out with than to come home to. In fact the number of single-person households across the world has sky-rocketed by 80% in the last 30 years. The biggest age-group within that statistic is 35 to 64.And at 64? Probably time to find a soulmate so you’re sorted for the last stretch.
One small problem, long-term singles are awfully picky. You might consider giving up your single status for someone who looks amazing, is excellent company but gives you space when you want it, will hop into bed and perform with gusto when but only if you are in the mood, and eventually look after your every need, including financial, as you move through the foothills of approaching age into the unknown. Anyone less, nah.
You could lower that bar, of course. There are a million websites offering to introduce seasoned singles to other seasoned singles. Find your very own lightly creased companion for the years ahead while you both have enough vigour and energy to get used to being together. Some do come with children, even grandchildren. No?
How about a young looker from another country who would rather be in your country and will in return be nice to you and look after you? You do need quite big bucks for that one. No?
So, looking ahead, what happens when there aren’t children so there won’t be grandchildren to make you feel young, when work isn’t the be-all and end-all that it was, and retirement looms, or has already landed. When the partner for life, if there ever was one, is no longer there. When being alone is no longer a choice but has suddenly become reality . . .
Problem?
Turns out, nah, not quite so much as you might think. The first few comments are bits that would have made this too long a blog. (Too late, too late!)
Comments (22)
The best advice I have found anywhere was a joke which I once quoted elsewhere – kill an unethical self-serving politician. You will rid the community of a bad person and will automatically have friends in prison. Meals, a roof over your head, your age as your chaperon in the showers, and, AND, the best medical care available, all on the house.
Many a true word spoken in jest. Don’t use ‘Biff said to’ as your defence, ‘kay?
Joking aside, no, no idea how to solve that one. It is the last great mystery. Even your kidneys will be past their sell-by date by then. Anyone got a foolproof scheme?
Ironically, the people most likely to be lonely in old age are those who have lost their partner and didn’t have a varied social life while they were together. They are often left frighteningly isolated. We lot on CS are actually far better prepped. Most seasoned singles have had friends and social networks in place for years, and actively enjoy their time alone as much as their social time. That's not going to change overnight. It just needs a couple of tweaks.
Read on
Companionship during the day, and a bit of bed-hopping at night.
Perfect
Well, maybe hopping is a stretch
The poll also covered what plans these people, most of them college graduates, had in place for the future and any problems that might arise. Those results weren’t great. 70% had no potential caregiver to call on. 55% had no-one to call on with help for medical decisions. 35% had no help in a crisis. One question which wasn’t asked (or not reported on) is who would notice if they weren’t around, and check on them in time to be of help. And they’re all over 70! All of us who live alone have that much sorted, right? Right!
And so what if you are the oldest person in your bricklaying or cooking class. You need some younger friends, no point having a crisis contact if he / she is a lifelong buddy as likely to be having a crisis as you are
I found other goodies but it is nearly 01h00 here and I need all the beauty sleep I can get if I am to be blazing trails for years to come.
Anyway, only fair to let you guys have a turn too. Doleful or spiteful comments may be deleted
I have absolutely no plans to dwindle into a gentle shadow in the corner (or more likely a wheezing cantankerous old battleaxe) but as I still can't quite believe I even need to think of all that yet, I haven't thought of exit plans. Colour me impressed!
I made my choices during my life, and I live the lifestyle I want and end up with.
CS included.
great topic Biff.
For now, I'm enjoying my life, have no man to come home to but enjoys going out with someone special or with friends whenever I want to. Life is good...no complaints.
I would prefer having someone by my side.
When i get of age and can't take care of myself, i'll put myself in an old folks home.
Until then, lets see if i'll find a nice gentleman to grow old together.
I haven't read all the comments, nor your post carefully. So what I will post might be a non relevant comment.
Anyway..
You see, my room mate in Aussie once told me that after retired and get much older, she would live in a nursing home. She's married but no children at that time. By living in that place she wouldn't become a burden to any of her family, she explained.
Hmm.. I told my self, yeah why not.
When I was with my Jay, I told him about me having a plan to live in a nursing home when I get much older. I will pay the institution fee with my pension money.
And guess what?
Jay was pretty mad. He scolded me.. "Don't do that! Don't you ever do that! Living in such place is not for someone full of life like you!"
Hmm..
I also told my sister about that idea. I was surprised to see her daughter's and her son's reactions when heard my idea. Just like Jay, both were also mad at me. The son told me to live with him and the daughter told me to live with her. They both wouldn't let me live in any nursing home.
Hmm..
I kept thinking about it for some time.
Then I decided that I will have and enjoy my wonderful retirement life even if I am alone. So I have prepared certain things, including bought some pieces of land in a small city. It's not too far from a beach and still surrounded by trees where I can hear bird chirping whenever I wake up in the morning and still can go to the beach to enjoy the rhythm of the ocean waves and sunset. And I am sure I will never be lonely.
Sorry, I didn’t read all your blog, just the title.
But, immediately, I was reminded of the words to an ole song sung by Barry Manilow.
For all solitaire people...
“Ready to take the chance again”
Lyrics:
You remind me
I live in a shell
Safe from the past and doin' okay
but not very well
No jolts, no surprises,
no crisis arises
My life goes along as it should
It's all very nice, but not very good
And I'm ready to take a chance again
Ready to put my love on the line with you
Been livin' with nothing to show for it
You get what you get when you go for it
And I'm ready to take a chance again with you
When she left me,
in all my despair
I just held on, my hopes were all gone
Then I found you there
And I'm ready to take a chance again
Ready to put my love on the line with you
Been livin' with nothing to show for it
You get what you get when you go for it
The point of the blog is that we don't need someone to give purpose to our lives. Friends and lovers are the cherries on top, though. Sometimes, someone in our corner would be enough.
I'd forgotten the song. Thanks.