Life

I remember something I was told by my great uncle. "Nobody promised you tomorrow"

So much gets lost in an email as it is left to be felt within the readers mind set and or as a matter of fact series of statements. So much gets lost in the nuance and in the warmth of a voice with the feeling of touch and smell and feeling of energy that is shared

Sometimes the wrong message can be sent while in person with a smile, wink or touch. So what do we do ?
Humans are the only creatures that analyze things to death and so we have all these creature comforts and all these problems. Ego, envy, pride and all the other crap are learned habits
when we talk on phone is easy to say things like "I hate you, you are ugly, stupid, go to hell, yet so hard to say...I need you, I want you, I care for you and love u". So easy to have those around us that don't care or lie and we allow them space. For myself I grew up keeping those close to me at a distance because all that I have loved I have lost to cancer, old age, suicide and there came a point where I felt like you....if I don't let them get close to me it won't hurt as much. And it doesn't...the trade off is that with time I wish I Can go back and share because the feelings were always there and still are but I can't go back in time. So then it becomes a matter of switching off the thought and feeling of what if and regret. All this does is create more lost moments. Only you know you and only to the extent that you have learned and accepted. Life is a solitary journey and along the way we bounce up on "energy" in all its forms. Some help us along, distract,hold back or even consume.
I got separated and moved into an apartment to be close to where my ex lived so it would be easy on my kids with the transition from one home to two . My ex capitalized on that arrangement because i enabled him to get out of his responsibilities to his kids. It was so stupid yet a needed learning experience. I learn from it and now going forward I really look within to find out why I did that and allowed myself another year of stress i dint need or wanted in my life. I have made peace with my ex, and have buried the hatchet leaving the past in the past. Can't just talk it,really have to do it
Everything so clear and fresh and light now. Some things were awkward as far as saying goodbye, to my ex that is musician that has hidden agenda and friends that lost their way and have a dark cloud around them. I spent time to log the time I use to "teach" when I need to teach my kids life lessons and I'm not qualified to teach to begin with!
On the turning away, it is also a life lesson and it shows me to really make the best choice in the start so as to avoid the inevitable outcome when the head chopping will follow later on and all that is there to show for weeks months years are wasted moments


I'm intense I know that, some of us are able to channel it so it flows without thinking. Each day is not a good day but together we can switch the energy even if its from a distance. The deepest feeling should be one of feeling safe.
Life in all it seasons is still worth living no matter how much or how little we have. Life is about love, family and friends and the experiences that make each and us who we are.


Be great and grateful