Aren’t They Cute?
When scientists sequenced the chimp genome in 2005, it confirmed that chimpanzees are our closest living relatives. Of course, they’re cute; they look like us. They have big ears like the Europeans, long toes like the English, a bad accent like the French, small noses like the Africans, short legs like the Japanese, large testicles like the Russians, small dícks like the Australians and an IQ to match the Americans.
These clever animals can be taught to use tools to build their own shelters and we like to think of them as cute and huggable but those who think they are peace-loving creatures will have another think coming.
The truth is that they are cruel and aggressive fighters that form gangs to plunder neighboring tribes in search of food, females and/or territory, leaving behind only devastation and maimed opponents. Any infant chimps taken with their mothers during such a raid are simply killed and sometimes eaten.
It is estimated that as much as 50% of all male chimpanzees are being hunted down by other males and killed. And they do not only fight neighboring tribes, they also form factions within their own tribe and kill one another. Such killings normally happen to settle leadership and/or mating rights.
When we compare chimpanzee behavior with human behavior it is easy to believe that chimpanzees share more than 98% of their DNA with us. And it is even easier to see where our willingness to kill and to wage war comes from.

Still think they're cute?
Comments (28)
I think my DNA is different I am not nasty or horrible unless provoked
Of course, they're not cute, but deep inside each of us lurks one of those. Only our society keeps it in check.
Yes, I fear society is not that good everywhere. When criminals get away with murder these things happen.
Assuming that we evolved from a common ancestor (according to scientists, humans evolved along with chimps, not from chimps), one cannot disregard the Bonobos. We are as closely related to the "hippie ape" as we are to chimpanzees.
They make love not war.
We make war not love.
I'm so sorry. I did not realize that you were related to my in-laws.
Hmm, it is true that the screw all the time but they too fight and eat infant apes; just not as often.
Gottfried Hohmann of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology, published an article in Current Biology, describing bands of bonobos tracking, killing and eating young monkeys.
At first, I wanted to blog about them but when I discovered their flaw, I opted for the wilder cousin.
By the way, the last pic in the blog is depicting two bonobos mating.
I would agree....um, but there are over 7 billion of us (the human population has more than doubled in my lifetime) so, despite all the war and sadistic behavior, at least a handful of humans are making bonobo Whoopie!
Sorry to hear about those poor little creatures!
Those are my favourites:
I am very fond of orangutans and I´d love to work in a sanctuary and take care of those babies. They are very funny, very human-like, they share their food and look after each other.
As long as we can have a good old full-blooded war from time to time we should be able to keep the population in check. Can you imagine what the population would have been if not for WWII?
Cat,
Be careful! You're raising a few heavyweights. They are cute when they're small but when they grow up they are dangerous. All primates fight and kill. I'm giving you a link to such a fight. A male and a female orangutan ganged up to kill another female orangutan.
Are you telling me that they are closer related?
Hope you are doing well
I wanted to but my quack said I'm too young for that. He said he won't touch my face for another 10 years.
Indeed! It would seem that those saying that all men are pigs may have something. Well, as some of us already have the mentality of a pig, it won't surprise me at all if start walking around with pig hearts, pig lungs, pig kidneys, pig livers and whatever else they want to transplant.
They're not only scary; they're dangerous.
It is a different part of the family but I have seen a baboon putting paid to an Alsation. With four hands he kept the dog out of reach and those fangs did the rest.
I'm sitting between the devil and the deep blue sea. Brother Julius does not want Africans to share a page or an article with anybody but if I remove the reference to them, Uncle Cyril will blame me for not giving Africa its due credit. So as Uncle Cyril is the man in the saddle...
That is exactly the point. They are too much like us... or are we too much like them?