A New Look At Relationships
So now the honeymoon is over and what used to be ‘oopsy doopsy, who had a poopsy?’ became ‘you will still shit me out of this house!!’ and you feel that it is going nowhere. Then it is high time to get the ground rules in place if the relationship is to survive.
The most important thing now is that either the man or the woman has to be good at taking orders. Preferably, the man’s vocabulary should not exceed ‘Yes Dear’. There are no guarantees; if that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a stove or a fridge, depending on whether you want a hot
or a cold 
relationship. 
Relationships don't always make sense; especially to those on the outside. The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play ball
on weekends. Relationships, on the other hand, give you a steady partner to argue with. No longer do you need to argue with a different partner every night. 
The secret of a long relationship is to take time off to go to a restaurant once a week; a little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. It is important that they go to different places. Ideally, couples need to live three lives: one for him
, one for her 
and one for them together
. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus and they’re both marooned on Earth. Deal with it. 
A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man. It's better to love and lose than having to do 40 pounds of laundry every week.
Comments (57)
Do you want to marry me?
Hmmm, I can see you're a man of vast experience. Maybe we must work together in compiling a book on the aspects of relationships.
I'm going to vote Trump for newsmaker of the year. I don't know how he manages it but no matter how hard I try to avoid him, somehow he works himself into my blogs time and time again.
I would ague that a relationship is better if neither is constantly forced to have to give orders.
If something needs to be done, it should be done by whoever is in the position to do it at the time.
Then neither partner is put in the position of having to give orders aka nag.
Thank God not for the United States Marines but the Goodwill stores!!
P.S Art’s sisters are amazed that their brother is not only allowing the MiMi to shop at Goodwill but to wait for her there while she shops!!
I can push the button on a washing machine myself. But I have other buttons I want to be pushed.
Nobody is ever forced to give orders. It is those under orders who are being forced.
The truth be told, I have no idea how much it weighs. The design of my bathroom scale does not allow for the weighing of clothing. It was just a figure that I grabbed out of the air.
Men don't nag.
Not unless when it is needed.
Yep, this is the stuff I referred to when I spoke about the punishment. I hope ol' Fruitsalads look at this.
The honeymoon is phase one, make it last forever.
I find if a woman has a pair of good sturdy hips awning muscular thighs such as the women you might find in my glorious country of Nepal, a man is ill-advised to demand much at all from his wife; our heavy iron cookware can debilitate when heaved in anger Of course there are occasions when the man must put his foot down and relegate his woman to the cow shed for a few nights, or harness her to the field plow for a day or two, but generally on a day to day basis it's best he lets her be.
If I get much more of this I'm going to wet my pants.
You are too funny for words. I hope you stick around for a while. Of course, you are too adept to be new around here. I just wish I knew who you are.
I am nothing more than a simple goat herder who wishes to share the Nepalese warmth, mirth and should the opportunity arise, a seductive dance before a special woman should she be willing to venture upon my mountain. I have a very big mountain that hasn't felt the presence of a woman in a long time.
Some very simple and basic principles may help us men to make a more harmonious marriage or partnership.
1. Men are always wrong, women are always right! It is often difficult for us men to completely understand why this is so, but we must simply accept it.
2. On the same day a man can do 99 useful gestures which can range from simple things like cooking dinner to cleaning out the garage and he can expect little praise or acknowledgement for these daily ‘expectations’. However if he fails to complete one single task correctly, he can expect the 99 great gestures to be totally disregarded and be mercilessly admonished and nagged at for that 1 unfortunate error. So lads, we have to be 100% perfect or else we better hide.
3. Women do not possess logic, so no matter how much us men can’t understand the reasoning behind her wanting something a certain way, we must not question it, but simply comply and wait for that sudden moment a week later when she says ‘ahhh..maybe it would be better your way after all’. *but we must not say ‘I told you so!’ ....avoid that!
Follow these 3 simple principles for a happy harmonious relationship!
I can imagine women to be in rather short supply up there in the mountains. You should turn your head to Africa where a few heads of cattle will secure an equally sturdy and unruly wife. You may google 'labola' for more information. Of course, you breed goats but a man with your qualifications and abilities should be able to secure a bank loan to finance the acquisition of a few heads of cattle. Some tribes allow more than one wife and if you have the finances, five or six wives can only be an asset. Our African maidens are familiar with goats and will be of great help, leaving you with plenty of time to pursue other ventures. That is if you can leave the new in-laws behind in Africa.
I am acquainted with several proud fathers who'd be quite willing to deal with you and I'd be more than willing to act as a mediator on your behalf.
You're gambling with your sick leave.
By the way, what happened to Mapmaker. So many people went missing during my sojourn in the real world. I hope he was not banned as well.
I'm not always sure but I like to compare it with two dung beetles fighting for control of a piece of dung to roll away. Of course, I'm not the expert on the topic, VK may be of more help.
As for what happened, well no clues on that except I currently have a theory that he has ended up in the Nepal mountains and no longer produces maps, but jigsaws ..lol
You're probably right. His profile is missing and if it was not done by the Mods then he's legal. That's if it is him.
As I get older, I don't find relationships interesting. I can't live 3 lives. I want to live mine to the fullest. A man in it should be like the TV. I can switch on or off when ever I want.
And 'yes dear' will bore me to death. I like when I am told No. That motivates me as I am a stubborn person.
Relationships are hard work. I am lazy.
You're the one who started blabbering about laundry. I just mentioned it in the blog as an afterthought and you developed it into a theme.
It is only the man who says 'Yes Dear' that can be switched on and off like a TV. You cannot have your bread buttered on both sides.
So, if it is not relationships, what is it, one-night-stands?
I refuse to talk without my lawyer and that per se does not mean that I'll talk when he's present.
I can push the button on a washing machine myself."
Yes, I know that.
So then I have to press my own buttons.