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As long as there is something about you that causes you to feel bitter, inferior or ashamed, the mere mention of certain words will hurt you. I said it many times before and I’ll say it again; words cannot hurt until you give it the power to do so. Only then can they hurt you. professor

Some of the causes for hurt may be being dyslexic, stuttering, wearing glasses, having lost a limb, being born cripple, blind or deaf and too many other things to list here. We’re talking about things that you cannot change; things that are neither disgraceful nor scandalous. And until you can make peace with yourself, they will continue to hurt when people talk about it. blues

And if the reason for your hurt is something you can change, like bad teeth or untidy hair, or is due to intolerance to others, I have no sympathy with you for you are making yourself unhappy. If you don’t like homosexuals or hunting or if you don’t eat meat, you cannot expect the rest of the world to agree with your views. You either fix it you have to tolerate it.mumbling

Insults normally come to you as a statement of contempt and there are several ways to deal with it, depending on whether the insult is based on the truth and also whether the insult is based on disgraceful behavior on your behalf or just plain

If the statement is based on ill behavior on your behalf, it is not going to help to trade insults with your quarry. This is not just words; it is the truth and it is embarrassing. We are not always proud of our actions. Nevertheless, admit that you were wrong, apologize for the indiscretion and not only have you gained the respect of the people around you but you also have taken the wind out of your enemy’s sails. Your enemy has nothing further on you and if he wants to proceed with his assault he must resort to lies and/or pettiness. tongue

If the statement is untrue, it is not an insult but a lie. There is very little you can do about it… and unless if you can expose the lie in one swift and final stroke, ignore it. Those who know you will see it for what it really is; a common lie. If you try to defend yourself against it, it can only create a perception that there may just be some element of truth in it. frustrated

Then there is the third category; normally the tactics that slimeballs employ to hurt innocent people. The attempted insult is true but it is based on pettiness rather than shameful behavior. This is not an insult but we perceive it as an insult because we resent the truth; we feel bitter, ashamed or inferior about something that we cannot help for. comfort

Don’t waste your time on shit you cannot change; don’t fall into the bottomless pit of self-pity because of something that you don’t like about yourself. Accept yourself for who and what you are for there is no shame in it. Say to the world, “OK, I have freckles and so what? How does it affect my character or my person?” uh oh

Only then you will have the resilience to resist words but until then words will hurt you more than sticks and stones. sigh
cats meow cats meow

Comments (122)

i agree but we use words to communicate all the time....our words can also be a measure of who we are as might be easier to remove the power of words if we all communicated in sign language instead....wave
Eh, whats wrong with having freckles mumbling
Troll words are like having a bucket of liquid crap emptied over you everyone looking at you standing there covered in filth

Still anyone who believes what a bucket of liquid crap has to say doesn't have an opinion worth caring about
M4, good point. We can express our displeasure in sign language succinctly and without blowing a gasket!
Online dating sites wouldn't make much money I'd we used sign language instead of words
And have you noticed that most of the outspoken and abusive are faceless
What does that tell you about their character

rolling on the floor laughing
If my truth insults people then that's their problem not mine.
It's all in how we express our truth. Name calling and vulgarity are not a convincing format for most adults. cheers
Well dear pull my hair and I will give a swift upper cut to the jaw as I won't tolerate troll's trolling me.

Get my drift Maude?
It would be difficult not to Mercedes. Why are you so angry? Not that I care, but your attitude is so unattractive. You let yourself down.
Blue, having a pic doesn't deter you from being abusive. comfort
"I have freckles and so what? "

Yeah, so what if I have a 8 lb. goiter on my....

Wait, what's this blog about?
Hi Mischief,
You can bet your bottom dollar that there will be signs that hurt. Look how many offensive signs we already have. laugh
Hi Itchy,
That is the whole point. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. But some people are very sensitive to it.

I had a few freckles when I was much younger but it did not bother me. My younger brother - now long deceased - had less than I but he went ballistic every time somebody called him freckleface. And because of it, everybody called him that, mostly behind his back though. The odd thing is our few freckles were gone by the time we reached our thirties, but he still resented being called freckleface.doh
wine hug
Hi MultiF
Trolls have no power as well... until we empower them. We make them strong when we are easily offended. And the moment they discover a weakness they will pound on it with impunity. So the best is not to show when you're hurt.
wine hug
Hi Lucy,
It is quite apparent that you have not seen some South-African drivers after being shown a few finger signs.rolling on the floor laughing
wine hug
Hi Nice2
The problem is that even with the faces we cannot tell if the face belongs to the hand that types the message.doh
cheers wave
Hello Catfoot,

I'm too sensitive and you're right in what you write but who gives a shit!
Hi Merc
Yes, the truth should not hurt but speaking the truth only has value if it is relevant and useful. If the truth is spoken with the only purpose to hurt somebody, it no longer has any useful purpose.conversing
wine hug
...and that's what makes it so easy

No one is accountable

In the real world if your an arse hole people either point you out or avoid you

Like there's that kid that kicks dogs
Throws stones
Wets his pants etc

Either he gets the message and changes his ways to conform or becomes a serial killer.

In cyberspace the arse hole can be your best friend the guy in the next office or even your mother

rolling on the floor laughing
I pity the troll trolling you. laugh

And Lucy is right, you do sound angry today. Not your usual self.comfort
wine hug
Excellent blog of substance cat. thumbs up
Hi Wilba,
Nobody, but I still write because neither do I.laugh
wine hug
Hi Nice,
I'm inclined to believe that it is that anonymity that gives some people the illusion of power that they don't enjoy in the real world where people can retaliate with what Mercedes so aptly described as 'a swift uppercut to the jaw' I believe that the bigger the troll here, the lesser the substance in real life.
wine hug
I'm sorry, my phone rang when I was about to respond to you and when I came back I had forgotten about you. Such are the perils of getting older.laugh

This blog is about oversensitivity you freckle-faced clown with an 8-pound goiter. If this did not hurt you, you're ok otherwise yer too sensitive.laugh
cheers wave
Hi Lukie,
Thanks. I think after six years on CS I am an authority on the subject.laugh
cheers wave
yes molly but we have emoji communication instead.....laugh
Words dunno
Don't mean Jack shit to a deaf person like me
Unless the person's body language says the same.
Don't worry
Both my brother an my sister are word people ( an in an office job ) an aren't practical at all confused . Yet they tell me how to do practical things all my life confused
Yet I'm the one doing the practical things an teaching others how to do it dunno confused
Words don't mean Jack Shit
Actions speak louder than words
Especially when nothing is wanted in return.
Hi Mischief
I don't think that will work. Some of them, like barf and frustrated and thumbs down will work overtime but I guess we'll see a new generation of offensive emots in no time.laugh
wine hug
Hi Daears
Hmm, your CS handle now makes sense too. I can understand that body language is more important than the spoken word to you but to the rest of us, words mean more - not that body language does not count. It is just not as prominent.

But from a point of interest, how do you feel about the written word? No body language there; only some reading between the lines.
cheers wave
Hi Willba
I'm not sure if I understand your question. If it requires a reply from me please elaborate.
wine hug
Words are only a written thing
They can be massively false........
Do you believe everything written more than what you see that is not a word dunno
I don't believe anything I hear ( even though I'm deaf ) unless I saw. I believe everything I see........
What say you............
Mr Cat Foot dunno
Why do you think there's more scammers online now days dunno
Too many believe thier words frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated
Why is thus dating site not a dating site dunno
Too many untruth words perhaps dunno
Or are too many others sick of words in real life dunno
So they end up here frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated
Not what us looking for love look for huh dunno frustrated
Hi Daears
An interesting viewpoint. I again believe everything a person tells me until I catch him lying to me. From that point on I shall believe nothing he says but he won't know
cheers wave
But we are here out of our own free will. Nobody is forcing us to be here. Scammers, like trolls, are part of life on social sites. We just have to accept the fact and deal with them as best we can.
cheers wave
So you've given up on life then dunno
Sad dude.
I just wish this was an actual dating site cheering
Would be alot more people here if it really was dunno
Time wasters are a waste of time.
Hence I'm seldom here dunno
Why would you say that? The cyber-world is just not that important to me. I just find this very amusing at times.laugh
It's funny though, that some people think that the internet is their life!! It has its place and people can show or hide their true selves! But to rely on it too much is wrong methinks!

If I were out with friends now, I wouldn't give a crap about some manky dating site! But because I'm at home it suddenly becomes important in a strange kind of way... Sad Bastard!cheers
I often disappear in the middle of a conversation. It simply means that my doorbell or my phone rang. Everything in the real world takes precedence over this artificial world where deceit and callousness is the preferred protocol.
wine hug

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