As long as there is something about you that causes you to feel bitter, inferior or ashamed, the mere mention of certain words will hurt you. I said it many times before and I’ll say it again; words cannot hurt until you give it the power to do so. Only then can they hurt you. professor

Some of the causes for hurt may be being dyslexic, stuttering, wearing glasses, having lost a limb, being born cripple, blind or deaf and too many other things to list here. We’re talking about things that you cannot change; things that are neither disgraceful nor scandalous. And until you can make peace with yourself, they will continue to hurt when people talk about it. blues

And if the reason for your hurt is something you can change, like bad teeth or untidy hair, or is due to intolerance to others, I have no sympathy with you for you are making yourself unhappy. If you don’t like homosexuals or hunting or if you don’t eat meat, you cannot expect the rest of the world to agree with your views. You either fix it you have to tolerate it.mumbling

Insults normally come to you as a statement of contempt and there are several ways to deal with it, depending on whether the insult is based on the truth and also whether the insult is based on disgraceful behavior on your behalf or just plain pettiness.help

If the statement is based on ill behavior on your behalf, it is not going to help to trade insults with your quarry. This is not just words; it is the truth and it is embarrassing. We are not always proud of our actions. Nevertheless, admit that you were wrong, apologize for the indiscretion and not only have you gained the respect of the people around you but you also have taken the wind out of your enemy’s sails. Your enemy has nothing further on you and if he wants to proceed with his assault he must resort to lies and/or pettiness. tongue

If the statement is untrue, it is not an insult but a lie. There is very little you can do about it… and unless if you can expose the lie in one swift and final stroke, ignore it. Those who know you will see it for what it really is; a common lie. If you try to defend yourself against it, it can only create a perception that there may just be some element of truth in it. frustrated

Then there is the third category; normally the tactics that slimeballs employ to hurt innocent people. The attempted insult is true but it is based on pettiness rather than shameful behavior. This is not an insult but we perceive it as an insult because we resent the truth; we feel bitter, ashamed or inferior about something that we cannot help for. comfort

Don’t waste your time on shit you cannot change; don’t fall into the bottomless pit of self-pity because of something that you don’t like about yourself. Accept yourself for who and what you are for there is no shame in it. Say to the world, “OK, I have freckles and so what? How does it affect my character or my person?” uh oh

Only then you will have the resilience to resist words but until then words will hurt you more than sticks and stones. sigh
cats meow cats meow
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Comments (90)

i agree but we use words to communicate all the time....our words can also be a measure of who we are as people....it might be easier to remove the power of words if we all communicated in sign language instead....wave
Eh, whats wrong with having freckles mumbling
Online dating sites wouldn't make much money I'd we used sign language instead of words
And have you noticed that most of the outspoken and abusive are faceless
What does that tell you about their character

rolling on the floor laughing
Well dear pull my hair and I will give a swift upper cut to the jaw as I won't tolerate troll's trolling me.

Get my drift Maude?
It would be difficult not to Mercedes. Why are you so angry? Not that I care, but your attitude is so unattractive. You let yourself down.
Blue, having a pic doesn't deter you from being abusive. comfort
"I have freckles and so what? "

Yeah, so what if I have a 8 lb. goiter on my....

Wait, what's this blog about?
Hi Itchy,
That is the whole point. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. But some people are very sensitive to it.

I had a few freckles when I was much younger but it did not bother me. My younger brother - now long deceased - had less than I but he went ballistic every time somebody called him freckleface. And because of it, everybody called him that, mostly behind his back though. The odd thing is our few freckles were gone by the time we reached our thirties, but he still resented being called freckleface.doh
wine hug
Hi Lucy,
It is quite apparent that you have not seen some South-African drivers after being shown a few finger signs.rolling on the floor laughing
wine hug
Hi Nice2
The problem is that even with the faces we cannot tell if the face belongs to the hand that types the message.doh
cheers wave
Hi Merc
Yes, the truth should not hurt but speaking the truth only has value if it is relevant and useful. If the truth is spoken with the only purpose to hurt somebody, it no longer has any useful purpose.conversing
wine hug
I pity the troll trolling you. laugh

And Lucy is right, you do sound angry today. Not your usual self.comfort
wine hug
Excellent blog of substance cat. thumbs up
Hi Wilba,
Nobody, but I still write because neither do I.laugh
wine hug
Hi Nice,
I'm inclined to believe that it is that anonymity that gives some people the illusion of power that they don't enjoy in the real world where people can retaliate with what Mercedes so aptly described as 'a swift uppercut to the jaw' I believe that the bigger the troll here, the lesser the substance in real life.
wine hug
Hi Lukie,
Thanks. I think after six years on CS I am an authority on the subject.laugh
cheers wave
yes molly but we have emoji communication instead.....laugh
Hi Daears
Hmm, your CS handle now makes sense too. I can understand that body language is more important than the spoken word to you but to the rest of us, words mean more - not that body language does not count. It is just not as prominent.

But from a point of interest, how do you feel about the written word? No body language there; only some reading between the lines.
cheers wave
Hi Willba
I'm not sure if I understand your question. If it requires a reply from me please elaborate.
wine hug
Words are only a written thing
They can be massively false........
Do you believe everything written more than what you see that is not a word dunno
I don't believe anything I hear ( even though I'm deaf ) unless I saw. I believe everything I see........
What say you............
Hi Daears
An interesting viewpoint. I again believe everything a person tells me until I catch him lying to me. From that point on I shall believe nothing he says but he won't know that.cool
cheers wave
So you've given up on life then dunno
Sad dude.
I just wish this was an actual dating site cheering
Would be alot more people here if it really was dunno
Time wasters are a waste of time.
Hence I'm seldom here dunno
Why would you say that? The cyber-world is just not that important to me. I just find this very amusing at times.laugh
I often disappear in the middle of a conversation. It simply means that my doorbell or my phone rang. Everything in the real world takes precedence over this artificial world where deceit and callousness is the preferred protocol.
wine hug
A man disappearing in middle of a conversation
Seems like a broken record from hundreds of years ago.
Even before women could vote dunno
So your words have spoken 4 you Mr CatFoot rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
So do you still stand by your written word dunno dunno dunno dunno
Hi Wilba
They are indeed their own worst enemies and by being that they isolate themselves from people who care about them. they cannot expect other people to understand and know about their insecurities. Others may be too busy sorting out their own problems to worry about people who feel sorry for themselves.
wine hug
I think in virtual space, people should take others seriously or what they say.

I know how I behave in real life as a person and as a mother of four adult daughters. But I say crazy, flirty stuff here.

So if you know yourself, I don't think anything anyone says should hurt you.

wave hug bouquet
Hi Cattie, you worry too much about being politically correct. Just be yourself. Nobody cares a rat's are about you so why bother about them.
Great, now I know I am handsome.

I dont have freckles. wave

Cat, cheers
Hi Bea,
What do you mean? I am being myself. Do you remember that flamboyant entity that I used to be on here; the one that drove some people here crazy?laugh

Well, that was not me. And you know that.laugh
wine hug
Hi Bog,
I think a few freckles are very pretty on a woman. Ah, but then you're not a woman.laugh

It's funny, I also like a woman to wear specs. But I don't like them to over-dress at home. the specs are enough.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing cheers
No I've not been here before, only observing from the outside. I'm not interested in your hatemail or what goes on behind the scenes, just commenting on your blog because it's marginally more interesting than watching paint dry! laugh
On stilettos Boggie,
Stick around, we're gonna be famous.laugh
cheers wave
I'd be very reluctant to call you a liar but for some reason or another, I have difficulties believing you.

And thanks for the compliment. When they are scarce as they are at the moment any crumbs will do.grin
wine hug
Oh boy, talk about sensitive!
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Well now, I wear specs and have several styles. I find it difficult to believe you get hate mail. It's nice to see new bloggers jumping right in and joining in on the blogs! cheers
All of your suggestions work when you are face to face with someone.

When you are responding to someone on a computer the words are black and white on a little screen. They take on a life of their own. The person who reads them interprets those words to fit into their lifestyle so if a person is always angry they will read the words negatively. If the person is happy go lucky and sees only the good in people they won't try to find fault with what the person said.

Here on CS words are more often than not taken in a negative way. We cannot FEEL the voice infliction saying those words. They are just little black and white marks on a computer screen. That's why emoticons are very important when writing anything on CS. In the real world compassion and kindness go a long way when talking to the person you are with.

beer elephant joy flirty dancing dog very happy wave
Hi Lucy,
Oh, I get hatemail ok. Not so bad these days for they too have learned that I react in kind. Even comments in my inbox from people who want to comment privately but these are not the regulars on the blogs. Only twice did regulars attack me via my mailbox but they are long gone.
wine hug
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Around here, Western Cape, South Africa

I know I cannot always have what I want, but that does not make me want it less. Otherwise I’m easy to please, flexible, accommodating and forgiving. I cool down as fast what I get cross. I hate it when people lie to me. I’m hooked to my laptop, but [read more]

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created Oct 2019
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Last Commented: Oct 2019
Last Edited: Oct 2019
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