From your very own CS expert... How to....

...find committed love, with a grounded, self sufficient and sober person, right cheer on CS. Probably also applies to other sites as well. Why an expert? Like with truthful, addicted smokers, who say they can quit any time, as they have done so quite often. My half dozen marriages to CS ladies, which would have lasted if they were as nearly perfect as I am, makes me eminently qualified. The secrets? Well there really are none. But here goes. Above all, be patient, and willing to put in the effort to vet the many scammers, and nutters. Among the latter, are those on their own great Mandela, traipsing impatiently from one abusive entanglement to YET another. But don't take my word for it. Just ask any pregnant 15 year old about the ages when mom, aunts, sisters and even grannies got pregnant, and where is the father now. These things, as with addictions, of ANY sorts, tend to be cultural, and familiar,---perhaps even genetic. But healing can take place, again with effort, first by conquering personal denial, and then therapeutic work, which can also involve the tincture of time. Learn how to vet scammers, and many folks here, including the site itself, have all the valid tips you'll ever need. And put all these into practice. So I won't bore you with these details. OK, so now you are down to the 5-10% of really eligible and quite real, potential lifetime squeezes. Read their Blogs and Forums, and other stuff they place here---more info to judge intelligence, sense of humour, temperament and even a little history, details of which come further down the line. (See, oh you CS lemmings, TBC.) Cultivate a history of chatting, and not merely a few brief notes, and if possible, hint at banter, --- even flirting some---in use of language, one sign of intelligence, and lots more that is good. Chat HERE, as advised by all sites, and wait a long while before jumping to more unprotected email. A test of patience, and lots more. Avoid initial questions about what potentials are searching for here, how long they've been here, their jobs, and other such stuff. Better to let all this emerge, perhaps except for the darkest ones, which it will, indirectly, during chats, as trust slowly grows. The really dark ones seem, over time, to improve WITHIN a good relationship, and emerge best then, with loving support.Try to reveal yourself over time, in stages, best when both parties share challenges, here in all that you write. Secrets, and we all have them, some quite shameful, are best described on the front end. As my flight instructor always said, better on the ground, than in the air, No? Be prepared to let go with grace, of those, even with whom you have invested lots of time, as surely the time will not be wasted, as you'll learn much about others, their locations, and above all, about yourself. And if, when they return, much later, see this as a gift, not something to cop childish attitudes about. So, now you are well within the tiny percentage of possibles. Time to go to private email, texts, Skype, etc. But since most of you reading this will now be almost asleep, TBC.