How to grow old

Today we are going to be looking at growing old, and how to avoid doing it with dignity.

People often ask me how I get away with behaving so immaturely at my age. Well the answer is simple; I refuse to compromise. Sometimes the temptation to conform to accepted standards can be very hard to resist, but we have to overcome our reluctance to cross that threshold. As with most skills, practice is the key.

The next time you are walking through a park and get an urge to climb a tree, don’t let your inhibitions win. First, make sure there are people around to witness it. If not, wait until there are, and then just do it; climb the tree. Try to choose a tree that offers some possibility of being climbed, as falling to the ground in front of an audience without suffering sever embarrassment is beyond the scope of the beginner.

There it is; as simple as that. Just practice climbing trees in public places until it becomes second nature not to give a thought to what onlookers might be thinking of you. And remember; your objective is not to become good at climbing trees, but simply not to mind being seen doing it.

Next week we will be discussing ways to assess how likely someone you might want to insult is able to run faster than you can, and the strategies that can be employed to slow them down. Don’t miss it, this is something you will need to know.
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Comments (61)

When you say you used to crouch on your saddle, Selenite, was that very recently? I'm really hoping it was.
laugh recently would be suicidal!
I live in a very ancient village with cobbled steeply inclined streets ... my crazy doesn't stretch that far ...laugh not even on a full moon rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
This kinda reminds me of ... " Well if someone told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" How many times did I hear that growing up?laugh
Nobody tells me when to jump off a bridge, Loh_key. scold

I'll jump off when I want to.
That's enough of that, BD. scold

giggle
I know it's going to feel like a great let down....
But I no longer owned a bicycle when I moved to this ancient cobbled street village!
On the up side it means I really do hope to get a new boyfriend laugh
I grew old despite my best efforts to prevent it. I'm pretty sure I did it without much dignity. I think you and me could exchange notes/stories my friend Mr. Esquire.
Thinking about your heart health? Consider pouring yourself a cup of tea — hold the milk and sugar.laughA study published in the peer-reviewed European Journal of Preventive Cardiology suggests that people who drink tea three or more times a week may live longer and suffer a lower risk of cardiovascular disease than their non-tea drinking counterparts.
I have decided to grow old disgracefully, as and when the time comes to grow old of course.
I have every intention of growing old disgracefully. snooty
Ha, Riz beat me to it. laugh
I,m old already and hope to get a little older.
Or even better, Selenite, a boyfriend with a bicycle.
Yes, we must compare notes, Soonyuleknow. cheers
I have tea everyday, Mark, so I should be alright. super
I suggest you start practicing now, Rizla, so you will be prepared when the time comes. beer
Actually, jac, Rizla hasn't started yet, so you could still beat him to it. hmmm
In that case, string, it's time we had some disgraceful behaviour from you.
It's good to have something to look forward to, bloody. wink
I'll also have what BA is having thumbs up smitten
HOW TO GROW OLD!
Step One.... Wait
Step Two.... Wait some more.
Step Three. Go back to Step One.
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created Jan 2020
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