The toilet paper virus – important changes to quarantine, week twenty
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(A side note – readers of a nervous disposition should jump ahead to the comment which will start ONE YEAR LATER)
*disclaimer* this blog - written in week four - intends neither to specifically amuse or alarm. It is a darkly cynical fictional extrapolation of the way long-term events could unfurl in, perhaps, an alternate reality. Comments will be posted in quick succession to drive the story. More cheerful opinions will then be very much welcomed.
Comments (15)
From today those in quarantine will be advised by tannoy, street to street, when they can report to their nearest school for testing. Anyone with symptoms of the virus, or sharing premises with persons who show symptoms, is forbidden to leave home but can phone for a pack of the necessary food to be delivered to their door, and can report for testing a week later. Local phone numbers will be broadcast on local TV channels 24/7 starting today.
During the time I was an official blogger I did hold out for payment in loo rolls - it was, after all, the name history has chosen for the virus - and I'm glad I did.
For the most part I use ripped-up bed sheets and my washing machine, set on boil, churns constantly, but the 3 weeks of blogs earned me a precious NINE 4-roll packets. They've quadrupled in value since then, and I'm hoping will support me until state pension age at 130. Building and concealing a vault for them was also a wonderfully time-consuming way of spending those last dragging difficult weeks as we all waited for the tannoy to sound in our streets.
By the way, anyone who wants to win my heart in the hope of getting their hands on my stash - dream on, bud. You're welcome otherwise, of course, but bring your own bedsheets.
It only becomes more apparent when times are bad.
You just have to look at peoples' character in times of need...some are rather selfish and only for themselves...but rather than waste our time giving in to those hedonists...why not highlight those who are helping others and creating unity...
So that means if there's a problem and the daily boat doesen't come. things like TP run out very quickly.
How that translated to my country, several paper plantations and mills having gone bust recently due to lack of demand, to said mills being reopened and running 24 hours a day now, and still far from meeting demand... We have the same number of bumholes needing wiping each day.
Its a strange mental illness, there has always been enough for everyone to have a lot more than they need. I havent seen a single roll for sale for about 6 weeks, I'm about to start my last 8-pack. It is rdidc that I have to think maybe 2 months ahead for such things.