Mr. Wilson Comes to Tea
From the author of The Frigid Midgets, more adventures from Mrs. Crompton’s garden.1
One morning, bright and early, Wam and Bam tripped out into the garden, as usual, to gather their daily prescription of gooseberries. It was a habit that Mrs. Crompton had encouraged, lest they forget later in the day. There were two gooseberry bushes, and Wam noticed that there was something odd about one of them. When he looked more closely, he could see that its leaves were curled up, and some had a powdery coating.
‘This doesn’t look right,’ he said, holding his chin, as people often do when wanting to make a show of seeming puzzled.
‘We’d better tell Mrs. Crompton,’ said Bam, ‘something will need doing about it.’
‘Oh dear!’ Mrs. Crompton exclaimed, when she saw the bush, ‘what are we going to do about it?’
‘We was thinking you would know what to do about it,’ answered Bam, which was his way of saying that he didn’t know what they were going to do about it.
‘We should get Mr. Wilson to come and have a look at it,’ said Wam, stroking his chin, as people sometimes do when wanting to seem to be giving something serious consideration.
‘Who is Mr. Wilson?’ asked Mrs. Crompton.
‘He’s the gardener at the big house,’ answered Bam, ‘he’s our friend.’
‘But wasn’t he the one who dug up the gooseberry bushes?’
‘It was her ladyship what made him do it,’ said Wam, referring to Mrs. Strong-Cummings, their previous employer at the big house. ‘He didn’t like doing it.’
‘And will he know what to do about our gooseberry bush, do you think?’ asked Mrs. Crompton.
‘If he doesn’t, no one will. He knows all there is to know about gooseberry bushes, and everything else what grows in gardens,’ said Bam, pointing a finger upwards to prove the truth of his statement.
‘It’s his day off tomorrow, we’ll go to the big house and ask him to come and look at our bush,’ said Wam, without touching his chin.
When they were about to set off the next day, Wam went to have a word with Mrs. Crompton:
‘Before we come back with Mr. Wilson,’ he said, ‘I just think you should know that he might not be what you’re expecting.’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Mrs. Crompton.
‘Well he looks a bit unusual, you might say, some folks gets a bit of a shock when they sees him for the first time.’
‘What nonsense,’ said Mrs. Crompton, ‘I don’t mind what he looks like, as long as he can do something about our bush.’
‘Well I just thought I ought to tell you before you sees him.’