Consistent Testing results for AG, Bill Barr
Today from The New Yorker;In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Bill Barr Tests Negative for Integrity
By Andy Borowitz
May 8, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a test result that he called “a tremendous relief,” the Attorney General, Bill Barr, has tested negative for integrity, Barr confirmed on Friday.
Barr submitted to the test after learning that he had come into contact with career Justice Department prosecutors who were found to be integrity carriers.
“When I learned that there were still people at the Justice Department with integrity, I was understandably furious,” Barr told reporters. “I told them to go home at once.”
Barr said that he was putting into place new protocols that would require Justice Department employees to be tested for integrity before entering the building.
“I thought that anyone with integrity had already left the Justice Department, but apparently I was mistaken,” he said. “It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
Although he was elated to learn that he had tested negative for integrity, Barr said that he shuddered to think how close he came to contracting the dreaded virtue.
“Having integrity would have made it impossible for me to work for President Trump,” he said.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Bill Barr Tests Negative for Integrity
By Andy Borowitz
May 8, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a test result that he called “a tremendous relief,” the Attorney General, Bill Barr, has tested negative for integrity, Barr confirmed on Friday.
Barr submitted to the test after learning that he had come into contact with career Justice Department prosecutors who were found to be integrity carriers.
“When I learned that there were still people at the Justice Department with integrity, I was understandably furious,” Barr told reporters. “I told them to go home at once.”
Barr said that he was putting into place new protocols that would require Justice Department employees to be tested for integrity before entering the building.
“I thought that anyone with integrity had already left the Justice Department, but apparently I was mistaken,” he said. “It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
Although he was elated to learn that he had tested negative for integrity, Barr said that he shuddered to think how close he came to contracting the dreaded virtue.
“Having integrity would have made it impossible for me to work for President Trump,” he said.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
No real surprise. He's passed the test of no integrity since being appointed.
Whether it was the untruthful interpretation of Mueller's report, pressuring prosecutors, or
judges, clearly he has no loyalty to the judicial system, nor justice in general.
His loyalty is only to his mob boss.
Comments (40)
ALL TRUMPERS have no integrity.
They sell their soul to do as that man says.
But, if it did happen to Trump, it would be difficult to argue that karma was not involved.
I read that Mike Pence's publicist is now infected.
Trump makes my skin crawl!~
Yes I know all before you do because your asleep when I get all the news.
Trump needs to be taught a lesson..
significant jail time. Perhaps then, he will learn that lesson.
He attends the Mayo clinic where there are sick people but thinks it's okay to not wear a mask..Outbreak at the whitehouse and he still doesn't wear a mask..People there ask themselves why bother wearing a mask for extra protection.
He cares only about himself and perhaps his daughter....in inappropriate ways.
Trump makes my skin crawl!
And I get stuff while you're sleeping.
Also, I don't think I will be playing softball soon either. :(
Blaming him for his inability to empathise is about as rational as blaming a blind person for not knowing what a colour is.
He just shouldn't be in a position where he doesn't have the most fundamental skills required to fulfil his job description.
my state as well as other states are following strict medical protocol.
Total cases Recovered..6,079
Deaths..97
The current population of Australia is 25,455,327 as of Friday, May 8, 2020, based on Worldometer elaboration of the latest United Nations data. Australia 2020 population is estimated at 25,499,884 people at mid year according to UN data.
I suppose being part of an island helped in this regard.
When did the first case of Covid-19 happen there ?
Australian borders were closed to all non-residents on 20 March. Social distancing rules were imposed on 21 March and state governments started to close "non-essential" services. "Non-essential services" included social gathering venues such as pubs and clubs but unlike many other countries did not include most business operations such as construction, manufacturing and many retail categories.
The number of new cases initially grew sharply, then levelled out at about 350 per day around 22 March, and started falling at the beginning of April to under 20 cases per day by the end of the month. As of 9 May 2020, 3 pm, 6,929 cases and 97 deaths had been reported in Australia, with the highest number of cases being in New South Wales, with 3,051.
New York city has a population density of 26,403 people per square mile (10,194/km²),
while New South Wales has a population density of (10.14/km²) 26.3 /sq mi
NYC is over 1,000 times more densely populated. It's a lot harder to socially distance in New York City.
Governor Cuomo has done a fantastic job..He truly cares..I feel so sorry for him because he may cop infected people traveling from states reopening..He would make for a fab President!~
Bill di Blasio is mayor of NYC, and he is ones of the ones,
that did terrible in the presidential primaries.
Let's see how this will play out.
M - That's not necessarily a bad thing, depending upon which cheeks you are referring to.
Jim we have more breaking news..Did you know that?
Too much to type
That would stop the spreading of the virus and give enough time for people to recover without infecting others.