A story for you to finish (well out of comfort zone, call it a lockdown distraction)

J is sweating profusely, although the rifle is steady as a rock. He’s a sniper with an anti-terrorist unit and he can see his target. The terrorist – call him X - is shielding himself with a hostage. J is an exceptionally good shot. The chances are 50/50 the hostage will escape injury or death – but only 50/50. J has few illusions: if the hostage is hurt or killed, he will be thrown to the wolves. The officer in charge has ordered him to wait for a clean shot but to end the business as fast as possible. There are at least 20 hostages, staff and shoppers, at stake.

Bang

At least 19 hostages at stake.

No-one knows why X is doing this – he’s made no demands, there’s no frenzy in his actions, he’s cool and controlled. He has executed a hostage every time the unit has tried to make contact. Three times a unit negotiator has tried a loud-hailer. Three shots were the response, three spatters of blood on the whited-out glass and the silhouettes have shuffled to take up the space. Since the third shot a child has been screaming and sobbing in either agony or grief.

The drama started two hours ago around 10 am, when a shopper tried to enter the popular greengrocery and found the door looked. She looked at the plate glass window and 3 people were painting it white on the inside with rollers, working with frantic haste. One of them was her neighbour, tears pouring down her cheeks. Their eyes met and her neighbour shouted HELP US! A shot rang out and her neighbour was flung against the window. Blood abruptly spattered the glass. As her neighbour slid to the floor the blood smeared. The white paint now covering that bit of the window is pink. Once the glass was painted the hostages were lined up along the window, their silhouettes clearly visible against the thin coating of white. Four of them are barely three feet high.

The unit has tried to phone the shop to speak to the terrorist. The phone was heard ringing once, twice – then a shot, and it abruptly stopped ringing. Using the loudhailer triggers an execution. The shopper who called the police has told them her neighbour’s mobile phone number. There is still a chance they can reach X that way. Or – get another hostage shot.

J can see a narrow angle of the shop from the window in the back alleyway. X is roaming restlessly round the shop, dragging a hostage clasped to his chest with one arm. Occasionally he passes J’s line of sight but so far the shot has been obscured by the hostage.

J has no problem with the morality of his job. He has only ever had to shoot someone who was directly endangering others, sometimes many others. To shoot through a hostage to reach his mark, that’s different. He will do it if ordered – but waiting for a clean shot could mean another life lost, or more.



It’s just a story. Read it and go on to the next blog, or add to it – why the terrorist is doing what he’s doing, starting a successful dialogue, miraculous intervention, J getting a clean shot . . .

There are no rules per se. I won’t comment on your comments and I will delete any comments that jeer at the comments of others (get a life, guys) although I’ll leave any that add to their story. dunno Anything obvious I’ve left out, point it out and I’ll add it to the narrative.

I’ll do a story more relative to singles at some point. I couldn’t resist trying one out of most blogger comfort zones.
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Comments (20)

Some are reading but no comments, so they are - just like in real life - waiting to criticize whatever J does.

My take is that he’d take the shot as soon as possible after the next hostage killing, at an angle doing least damage to the shield hostage while still dropping X instantly. Disfiguring the hostage, even risking their losing an eye, finally had to outweigh the deaths.

dunno
The Action First contingent will be enraged that he waited so long, trying to protect one life and effectively causing two - three? - more deaths by delay. They’ll call for his immediate removal from the unit.
Some, after thought and debate, looking at plans and sketches of the venue and how the hostages were placed, will come up with an effective or even brilliant solution and be loudly astonished that their solution wasn’t reached at the time, in the time, and under pressure.
His superiors will announce that he has been suspended and will be undergoing trauma counselling for having permanently disfigured the hostage. He may be quietly returned to duty later – it really depends how upset the AHNB bunch are and how closely they watch against his return.

But that’s just my take. I’ll try a nice love story with, hmm, one or two warning signals . . . some time. I do appreciate it is hard to break the cycle of attention riveted on politics and health. Hope those that did read found the momentary break interesting at least smile

daydream
wave Sis!

I considered shooting out the window.

Shooting X in the right eye would ruin his aim wink ... grin

Fast acting tranquilizer delivered Silently to the shield-hostage May convince X said hostage fainted/suffered heart attack.
If, however, he suspects otherwise ... likely a bloodbath.

Shooting to minimize damage to the shield-hostage is probably the least bad option.

cowboy
I guess I come under the All-Heart-No-Brain category, so you've already jeered at my answer, but if I might just add another point where X is deeply misunderstood: if the hostages are standing close enough to white-washed windows that their silhouettes can be seen, how does he shoot them such that their innards turn the paint pink, but the bullet doesn't break the glass?
You see how thoughtful that is of X?
Given X's response to attempts at communication ...
If One were a hostage, would One want a (One's) phone to ring? ... uh oh

Yeah. I don't think so scold

cowboy
Good Save with the Frangible Bullets, eh? ... batting

cowboy
You're a good details man, Mic!! handshake
I didn't assume that because X made no demands that he didn't have an end game worked out.

Shooting hostages everytime contact was attempted is an interesting concept. It creates a unique tension where the 'heros' are responsible for the deaths. There could be a play with that concept where every action taken by the rescue services leads to another execution, as the actions change, so do the deaths.


I'm confused by this comment.

There was reference in the story that X, or J knew everyone and I don't see how it might be relevant to the story continuing.

Except that X was pacing restlessly shielding himself with a hostage. I imagine that takes quite a lot of adrenalin fuelled energy to accomplish.

One last point: the child who was screaming in agony, or grief? If you're very badly hurt, you don't make a sound; if a child is hurt enough to scream I think you can tell the difference between the sound of that and grief; & possibly children have better survival instincts, knowing when to keep their mouths shut better than some adults.

Perhaps a mother is more likely to keen, regardless of any risk to herself, if the loss of a child renders life meaningless.
What time of year is it? And what was the phone's ringtone ?
If it was Xmas time and another jingle-bells going off one would fully understand the shooting.

J will not be removed from his unit, depending on the order he was given.
Was the order take out the target when you have a clear shot? take out the target asap regardless of cost?
Anyway, that building would get stormed.
With a trigger happy hostage taker like that the longer one waits the higher the death toll.
His number is up
Did you write this? If so well done for trying. I'd love to be your editor, I have surely read more than 500 books, fiction and non. I spot errors, inappropriate nuances and ways of saying things, what seems plausible or not, right and wrong, good and stupid. Unfortunately when I'm reading a book, when I spot something out of place I lose track of the story and start thinking about the 'error'.
Even Lee Child is guilty. e.g., "The guy hauled his motorcycle onto the stand". It was a Harley Davidson which has a side stand or 'kick stand' so called because you kick it out and lean the bike over. So I'm thinking why didn't he research this, obviously his books will be read by bikers. I won't go on. laugh
Taken in the right spirit. thumbs up wine

Another one, this time a woman:- "you could hear the snow falling on the roof"
and a few more from her which I can't remember but were definitely wrong. She has sold three books in so many years. So people don't object.
Reboot, but I've heard snow falling uh oh it's the oddest susurration, more furtive than rain but distinctive. I've been woken at 3 in the morning by it, when everything was utterly and completely still and silent otherwise. And maybe my roof needed seeing to.



Jac - I'm sure you're right. I have never, and I am touching wood here, been in a hostage situation with or without a child. I do know kids who run into sharp shelves in supermarkets can keep up an effortless shriek for 20 minutes or more without even seeming to need to draw breath and it is close to unbearable, so I added a shrieking child as an element of tension. I normally do write from what I know but every element of this story was alien to me dunno

Weird having 2 blogs going at once laugh
Fair enough, but not many could relate to such oddities. You have to cater to a wide readership. Unless of course you remark on the thing as being unusual, then it becomes a thing of interest. smile
A friend of mine once said to me, "You know the noise light bulbs make...?"

I think I might have laughed for a full ten minutes after that. I always thought they were a visual thing. laugh
It wont be one or the other, J might need the distraction caused by the rest of the team.
It probably would not be a happy ending regardless.
The hostage taker's behaviour at first sight is illogic with regards of the killings.
On the other hand he came prepared with rollers and paint.
It all makes him very dangerous.
What else did he prepare ? and what else is going/will go on in town?
Skop, skiet en donner?laugh
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