Who could possibly make any of this up?

So, one of those stunning mid ocean coastal Maine fall days. Blinding sunshine. Almost 70 degrees F, with little wind. Being a cheap guy, I try to combine reasons for any road trip, and was in need of some power steering fluid to flush the system on my 20 year old new Volvo winter beater wagon. Only paid USD 150 for the old Swedish chariot, and did the work meself, to get it to sail through state inspection. But do I brag and digress? I may wax value virtue signaling/self sufficiency/renaissance man--- on topic, in a later Blog.
So early this morning, an email from state GOP headquarters comes in, inviting me to a rally in the Bangor area, near Volvo dealer, with a speech by VP Pence. Easily pushes the reasons for a 80 Km vintage road machine motorcycle trip into the "go" zone. Well, DUH!
We've all heard of the tens of thousands showing for these events, but seeing it in person is impressive. Saw my first secret service agent, at least identified as such, with big letters on her vest. She was definitely not guilty, as well. A helpless sucker for a heavily armed hottie in uniform.
I pass through security, and into the standing room only area. Helo arrives with Mr. Pence and staffers, and I'm prepared to keep my usual low, VERY low,.profile He'll be in New Hampshire tomorrow.
Somehow, perhaps via Miss SS hotstuff, from my chatting her up, word got around that the VIERK, in all his spendor, was in the audience. SS shuttles me to a seated position near the stage, and after the speech, and Q & A, I'm led into a private gathering behind stage. The VP greets me, with his gracious wife, and I also meet a bunch of travel functionaries. But here's the kicker.
Mrs. Pence informs that at a nearby table, a gaggle of hottie staffers are excited to know that the VIERK himself is in the same room with them. Smoking Cohiba Presidentes, with staffers of both sexes, and even the VP lights up. Apparently hotties all are giggling, hoping for a chance to meet the VIERK, and perhaps to make an impression on him.
Got some girlie contact info, and a possible invite to be a science advisor, after Messers Pence and Trump's re-election. Then I got the PS fluid, and rode home, to let you all know.
Can't make any of this stuff up, folks.