The true story of thanksgiving.... Many have heard....

those clueless conservatives tell of how the noble savage saved the starving pilgrims, in various ways. Lobsters to fertilize corn crops and such. Pilgrims were, as all proto Honkeys, slow to learn, VERY slow, so the first peoples decided to bail their skinny arses all out with the first cornucopia Thanksgiving feast. Called Tstukat' neenie Mongotsokabubu in middle high Massachsetts and Wampanoag/Pocasset, it meant 'Honkey slob no starve'.
Well, the natives were indeed involved, as were many fire roasted turkeys and fish. roasted chestnuts, dandeloin salads, and for over eaters, plant sourced purging remedies.There was good will, if slightly suspicious on both sides, with the prudish looking hottie white women sneaking peeks behind those tiny front and back tied on cloth patches.
But while the story is basically as often presented, the invite was unusual. It seems nubile little Hubba Hubba (Trans.-'she with big bumps front and back') was spotted while gathering truffles, by one Jon Langschwanz, son of one of the few German Pioneers, and great, VERY great, ancestor to porn star John Wade.
The boy chased her down, rumor having it that she really didn't try to get away, or to resist, VERY much. Curious girl, that one..
Well, the kids did what some kids will do at dusk on the soft, fragrant undercanopy in the forest. H H was apparently so taken, in so many words, by the lad, that when she returned to camp, she had that look in her eyes from the smoke of a distant fire.She then persuaded her Dad, a chief, to invite the boy and his kin to a big dinner. Just to keep Big Little Jon around, the Great Spirit and Good Lord willing.

Story from Ur-Gov. Wm. Bradford's memoirs. Paraphrased just a bit. Known to all Bay State young boys of past generations. The Braves hate it. While the Squaws know.