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A Different Kind of Loneliness

Today I learned that being lonely and alone isn’t all that terrible. God shared with me that I don’t love myself and it’s apparent by my actions. I don’t go to bed on time, I drink too much, I don’t get ready for work, my hygiene is questionable and my weight has skyrocketed. He makes a fair point. I don’t have a comeback. Like I ever did anyway. So He said you are not ready for a relationship at all...at all! Today He said that very loud and clear. He finally told me why He’s been telling me no for years. All I could do was receive His gentle correction. I don’t know what to say. I don’t have anything to say. All I know is that I’m willing to stay single for Him now no matter how long it takes. This is a big step for me because I was never willing to do that before. But when God talks to you that clearly, you listen. There’s nothing you can do but listen. Recently I told a guy friend how I felt about him. He prayed to God about if we could be together. God told him to tell me no. So he came back to me and said God said not now. Gee I wonder why. I think He finally told me why because He knows I’m in love with this man. Totally in love. I’ve known this man for years and he’s the one. But I’m glad God finally told me today hey you’re messed up! I won’t give you anyone until you fix that. So this aloneness I feel is good. It’s different. It’s a purposeful loneliness. It will be guided by Him.

And thanks for reading. I needed to share this with strangers and not on Facebook. It’s too personal for Facebook. Sometimes you just gotta share with strangers.

Comments (18)

introspect is an amazing tool either way, careful tho. teddybear
Deedreamer
Bentlee...thank you for your kind comment. I love your profile. If I was 20 years older...

I learned not to wish for things anymore though.
there is no god ,,,, so why ask some thing that does not exist.., you have asked yourself and have answered your own questions ,,there fore you know what your problems are ,but are either to lazy to correct them or you just set in your ways , so much so that you do not feel the need to change them,,and there by lies your answer ,,,
Deedreamer
Edison you believe there is no God but don’t be so small minded that you think yours is the only belief. Others don’t believe as you do. You need to accept that there are others that believe contrary to your beliefs. Because you have said this I render your other opinions irrelevant to me.
gonelikethewimd
It always amazes me when people tell those who believe in God--that He does not exist. I was raised with religion...that was filled with hate and revenge. I don’t care for religion..but, I do believe in God.

Introspect is always a good thing...change what you feel you need to change.

Surround yourself with positive people...kindness brings good to other’s and yourself.
Being single is not so bad Dee and its all good practice for when we die anyway, you be alone when you head for the happy hunting grounds..
As for the physical things in your life that you think you are falling behind with, don't stress it most physical things have no real impact on the goodness of your soul..
I find it best to just let things happen and pan out how they will, also having bugger all expectations and bugger all clear defined plans.. i still have vague plans like going shopping, but leaving a bit of spare time in that plan for the unexpected..
Good luck working through the things in your life Dee...
Melody1671
Dee... If you had a dear friend that posted this blog... What would you say to her?... I don't know you, but I am going to risk saying I think you would support her and try to help her in any way you could, for her to start making the changes that would help her become the best version of herself, as small and subtle as those changes might be... I am telling you this, because sometimes it is helpful to think of ourselves as "dear friends" to start loving us and letting it show... You have half the road walked and that is HUGE... Each day is a new beginning... Each day is a new chance to start loving yourself... bouquet
eYe have a pHD...in loneliness. Tis Why I am thankful for cats & such....
As you may know, maybe 1 per Cent of members here mcblog...of that per Cent, muy fancy themselves as policy wonks or Activists.
.. alternative 3 is in the Understanding that 2 kingdoms are being built right before our eYes.
One is temporary & pans Left. The other is Straight UP & trumps Entropy.
7692...a rambling poem / song.
..183....wish for, hope for...
7509...Yah is [ the ] cure......angel
MiMiArt
Hugs to you, Dee hug hug hug


P.S Love your hair! love
Deedreamer
Thank you guys! And Mimi...I’m getting it dyed blonde again soon! Thank you!

Bob you don’t have to be lonely. There’s a way to get over it. I got over it a long time ago. I just want a spouse to have fun with. I posted that tonight on my Facebook. You learn to live without but is it even considered without? There’s just certain perks to a relationship but there are also to singleness and yes as Butcher mentioned it’s not all bad.

But I will not tolerate being put down for my religion. We are all human here and all believe in something even if it’s not believing in anything. Thank you.
Deedreamer
With that said I should’ve titled this blog “A Different Kind of Lioness” rolling on the floor laughing
Deedreamer
And Bob, I’m trying to get a kitten. Trying to talk myself into peed in carpets and scratched couches. I don’t know if I’m willing to accept that yet but yes, I love cats too.
Good blog.
I admire you for acknowledging your short comings. It takes courage to admit and then right the wrongs.
Like you I'm proud to be a Christian.thumbs up
bouquet
Deedreamer
Lukeon yes it absolutely does take courage because strangely enough people want to blast your shortcomings for reasons unbeknownst to me. Everyone has shortcomings so I’m perplexed by that.

And good to see another unashamed Christian! wave
hpylady_
The reason I left my 2nd husband is God told me I didn't have to stay with him, that I would have plenty of love if I left. This came about as I was driving home from spending the day with my g-daughter, and I didn't want to go home because I knew what I would be facing. That's when God told me you don't have to stay with him. Within 2 weeks I had an apartment and divorce papers drawn up. I had no money, no job and I left anyway. I had 4 job interviews in 4 days. God will take care of you, he knows exactly what you're thinking and doing. He knew my family would always love me unconditionally just like he does. I have never regretted that decision.
Deedreamer
Hpy yes. Sometimes it’s just hard for me to cope with what God wants for my life. When my guy friend told me God said not right now he just reiterated what God has been telling me all along. It’s not easy for me to follow God to be honest. The part in His Word where it says His yoke is easy and His burden is light...I don’t know the meaning of that passage yet. I struggle with my flesh daily.
Don't know you but am proud of you, Taken that first step is difficult and you have taken that now.
Get that kitty, one that has been neglected, and trust me they train easily and no need for smelly carpets, they give you so much love and that is what you need right now
The Lord loves you and will stand by you, another sister in the Lord....................jenny
Personally, I don't tend to hear voices from extraneous sources. But true - being alone, (and in silence) is a good way to achieve introspection - and to make plans....
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