Friendship and mathematics

I don’t know what friendship means to you. I also don’t care. If somebody is to be a friend with me, it’s my definition of friendship that matters.

Never had a male friend. All my friends to the date were women.

I had male relatives, school-comrades, dates, lovers, husbands, colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances. Never friends.

When a man on a dating site expresses a wish to be friend with me in the initial message, I regard him as a left-behind in more than one sense of the word.

I’ve read somewhere (could be the Guardian), that forming a friendship takes from 100 to 400 hours of quality time spent together. Let’s do some mathematics and let’s take the minimum as a start.

Hence, we start with 100 hours of quality time. A show at the Opera takes ca 2 hours and we can meet a couple of hours before for dinner: makes 4 hours at a time. 100 / 4 = 25. A year has 52 weeks. I have my friend, whom I meet at least once a month, and I paddle every week-end, if weather allows. Additional hinder: opera and restaurants are quite costly in Sweden. The conclusion I landed at is that it could happen 5 times a year, if I really make a lot of efforts and sacrifices (any reason I’d want to?). Nonetheless, under the most favourable circumstances, It’d take 5 years to fulfill this minimum of 100 quality hours spent together. Chances are, that we might realise after all that time (and money) wasted, that we are not friends. (Quite a discovery, isn’t it?)

There is also a slim chance, that we’d discover that we are friends. Well, good! But a friend isn’t a date. So, my friend, you will not mind when I prefer going to a date instead of meeting you. None of my friends ever minded, so why would you?

A friend means loyalty and obligation of support, that you free-willingly accept because you like the person. Would you, please, explain me why a random male passer-by expects me to grant him loyalty and support on the first notice?



PS this subject was trigged by a Q-Anonist suggesting that he is my friend. Duh!
Post Comment

Comments (25)

Perhaps this blog is really a Q&A.rolling on the floor laughing
Perhaps.
Hmmm...you've made a very good point! thumbs up

Should I write all this in my next reply to some friendship request? laugh
You think they can read?
True! I'd probably be wasting my time! grin
Just write 1+1 does not always make two.grin
Also...it takes two to tango.laugh
There's nothing secret about their agenda: they want to get laid with minimum efforts.
What's wrong with a "bit on the side"?......innocent
Yeah..and maybe a friend with benefits?innocent
Interesting blog but I don`t know where you got those numbers. Friendship goes beyond numbers, At least in Latin America It is like that. We have a lot of friends, men and women are warmer than in other continents. We always shake hands, give a kiss, hugs, etc when we meet each other. (Covid changed our way to be but not too much).
Sharing with friends is very common, restaurants, theaters, Cinemas, Karaokes, bars and so forth are not expensive (between 10 and 20 $us). Also distances are not very far (20 to 30 minutes to travel) and you are with your friend. Except in big cities like Buenos Aires, Rio de Janeiro, Mexico DF, Santiago de Chile o Lima.
Also I`ve notice that getting friends in USA and Europe It`s sometime more difficult, I think It`s matter of culture. People is not friendly, in some cases people don`t even smile, many people live their lives alone and so forth.
In fact, I would advise you to get Latino Friends, You`ll have nice moments.!!banana banana
If you are going to consider the mathematics of friendship, stick to rational numbers. laugh
@SingleAFU
I agree with you regarding friends being a lot warmer in paises Latinos, but..
The OP is talking about the CS world and those who want to be your "friend" on first email contact.
To loveca:

Not sure what you mean with "a bit on the side". Do you mean "lovers"? Then it's ok to say the word, you appear to be adult enough.
@Tule..
"A bit on the side" is a very common colloquial expression - used by adults all over the world.
Yep, all, and sometimes, it's "A lot on the side", For the Bill Clinton's, MLK's and other 'Shirte Jaeger' liberal pols of the world.
To Dan_777:

There are a lot of English axioms, that I don't understand. That's the reason I ask for clarification. Being "used around the world" doesn't explain much :)
@jim but then, there are uncountably more of the 'transcendental'
you quote that your friends are only female mmmmm well the fact that most females are quick to talk about each other as soon as their back is turned ,,i would not be so sure that they are true fiends ,
and as you do not have any male friends then it shows that you do not get along with males ,,there you go your question answered ,,,simple
tulefell hard to argue your logic after your case was proven effectively.laugh
To edison:

What question?
ok KAREN,,, you got me on that one ,,
RL experience has taught me that one can make a true friend in only a few minutes. Depending on the situation.

And I'm talking about life long friends here. Male or female.

rolling on the floor laughing
Comments from Chesny never cease to amaze me..rolling on the floor laughing thumbs up
Lukeon that is so true. Back at Matchdoctor all he had to say to me was have you seen Lars and the Real Girl? I watched that movie confused. I finally understood what it meant after awhile. We became lifelong friends after that. But his strategy was a movie suggestion. Definitely worked on me. If he was even trying to use a strategy...but I digress. Just agreeing with what you said.
@Fargo..I didn't realise there were so many "bit on the side" definitions.

Thanks for the "bit on the side" explanation.smile
Post Comment - Let others know what you think about this Blog.
Meet the Author of this Blog
Tulefell

Tulefell

Gothenburg, Vastra Gotaland, Sweden

Glamourous leggy blonde in a wheelchair with IQ minus 34:

160, 58, B

High maintenance, adventurous, addictive, ignorant, nonchalant, vain, been, been, heard, been told that more than once, done, heard this one too, done that one too. Shopping, [read more]

About this Blog

created Jan 2021
976 Views
Last Viewed: Mar 21
Last Commented: Jan 2021
Tulefell has 39 other Blogs

Like this Blog?

Do you like this Blog? Why not let the Author know. Click the button to like the Blog. And your like will be added. Likes are anonymous.

Feeling Creative?