Friendship and mathematics
I don’t know what friendship means to you. I also don’t care. If somebody is to be a friend with me, it’s my definition of friendship that matters.Never had a male friend. All my friends to the date were women.
I had male relatives, school-comrades, dates, lovers, husbands, colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances. Never friends.
When a man on a dating site expresses a wish to be friend with me in the initial message, I regard him as a left-behind in more than one sense of the word.
I’ve read somewhere (could be the Guardian), that forming a friendship takes from 100 to 400 hours of quality time spent together. Let’s do some mathematics and let’s take the minimum as a start.
Hence, we start with 100 hours of quality time. A show at the Opera takes ca 2 hours and we can meet a couple of hours before for dinner: makes 4 hours at a time. 100 / 4 = 25. A year has 52 weeks. I have my friend, whom I meet at least once a month, and I paddle every week-end, if weather allows. Additional hinder: opera and restaurants are quite costly in Sweden. The conclusion I landed at is that it could happen 5 times a year, if I really make a lot of efforts and sacrifices (any reason I’d want to?). Nonetheless, under the most favourable circumstances, It’d take 5 years to fulfill this minimum of 100 quality hours spent together. Chances are, that we might realise after all that time (and money) wasted, that we are not friends. (Quite a discovery, isn’t it?)
There is also a slim chance, that we’d discover that we are friends. Well, good! But a friend isn’t a date. So, my friend, you will not mind when I prefer going to a date instead of meeting you. None of my friends ever minded, so why would you?
A friend means loyalty and obligation of support, that you free-willingly accept because you like the person. Would you, please, explain me why a random male passer-by expects me to grant him loyalty and support on the first notice?
PS this subject was trigged by a Q-Anonist suggesting that he is my friend. Duh!
Comments (25)
Should I write all this in my next reply to some friendship request?
Sharing with friends is very common, restaurants, theaters, Cinemas, Karaokes, bars and so forth are not expensive (between 10 and 20 $us). Also distances are not very far (20 to 30 minutes to travel) and you are with your friend. Except in big cities like Buenos Aires, Rio de Janeiro, Mexico DF, Santiago de Chile o Lima.
Also I`ve notice that getting friends in USA and Europe It`s sometime more difficult, I think It`s matter of culture. People is not friendly, in some cases people don`t even smile, many people live their lives alone and so forth.
In fact, I would advise you to get Latino Friends, You`ll have nice moments.!!
I agree with you regarding friends being a lot warmer in paises Latinos, but..
The OP is talking about the CS world and those who want to be your "friend" on first email contact.
Not sure what you mean with "a bit on the side". Do you mean "lovers"? Then it's ok to say the word, you appear to be adult enough.
"A bit on the side" is a very common colloquial expression - used by adults all over the world.
There are a lot of English axioms, that I don't understand. That's the reason I ask for clarification. Being "used around the world" doesn't explain much :)
and as you do not have any male friends then it shows that you do not get along with males ,,there you go your question answered ,,,simple
What question?
And I'm talking about life long friends here. Male or female.
Comments from Chesny never cease to amaze me..
Thanks for the "bit on the side" explanation.