Cry me a river...I can't help but think "Cry me a river" when I hear someone say that they just got out of a relationship and they are afraid of being hurt. Granted, I have said that myself two years ago after my divorce. I'm in a different place now so it's easy to say.
I have come to a different place in life where I am starting to understand that there is always going to be something. Sometimes, we can get stuck in a rut worrying about the hurt that we experienced and and scared of starting over since it will only lead to more hurt.
If anything, we should remember that if we don't ever risk anything we won't gain anything. We can look at what happened as a lesson learned. I have learned not to blame the other person for the breakup/divorce exclusively. I was there too- the hardest question is to ask ourselves- what did I do to contribute to the end of the relationship? If the other person was mostly at fault- emotional/physical abuse, controlling, jealousy, drugs, lying, cheating, etc. Then, we have to look at ourselves and ask why did I pick this person? Is this a pattern?
To answer those questions are difficult but very necessary. We need to get quiet, slow down and take a hard look inside ourselves. Most of us (including yours truly) fail to do so and end up with the same person in a different skin. I am learning to take it easy and slow. When I do, I can see things more clearly and not rush to "get over" the hurt caused by the last relationship. It's a tough process at times but it's worth it.