Century of the Advocate
In Heaven she is known as the gentle one, the war maker, the Advocate. But she was first called the silent one, dubbed by her family, because, unlike her cousins, when she was hungry, or needed changing, or needed a hug. She laid in silence, and her aunties uncles and grandparents alike LOOOOVED her. Of course her cousins, who werent getting the same amount of attention when she came to their houses HAAAATED her.
She would withdraw, and grow even more quiet, when she watched as her cousins would be angry at her not knowing why only seeing their anger. Her cousins bullied her, however her cousins grew tired of being angry, and left her be. Most of them...
Then there were her parents, they began to resent her too. She was never home for more than 2 days a week IF her parents were lucky. Once both her grandmothers fought over her. One was going to whangai (adopt) her as tradition goes the first born is given to the grandparents so when he or she comes of age takes care of them as Maori ways dictate. BUT the other grandmother was not letting that happen. so to appease grandmother julie she was promised the second born instead.
In the beginning for her parents it was absolutely terrifying when they realized, they did not know when she was hungry and that sometimes they forgot she was there, she would not cry out for their love or for food in her belly. But no one knew why... 'The Old Man' she once called Dod told her why, without realizing, when she was in her late teeens.
One night on the piss her old man told her, "Did you know that while your mum was giving birth to you she yelled 'GET THIS f*ckING THING OUT OF ME!!!'? It was later on when after deep thought she said in her mind, "this is why i became silent" she had become terrified of the most pure and fierce hatred from the person who gave birth to her. little did they know she was that intelligent with next level asp. She would like you to know that the greater the gentleness the higher asp, and hers was extremely high.
I would like to end it here for now she broke down crying you know that ugly cry u get when someone u deeply love who passed as a kid? Out of everyone in her life the one who genuinely loved her was her dog. It is the only pure love and happiness she felt that never wavered because guess what? everyone else did later on in her life...
Thats not the sad part in this situation, she stopped instantly after roughly 5 secs, she is terrified someone might attack her scars at her most weakest moment. People enjoyed hurting her at her lowest...
To be continued.
This was the music we were listening to as I wrote this: