Traumatic chip on the shoulder...

I was lucky to have parents that didn't divorce. Some of my friends did. When their parents remarried, they had a tough life growing up as 'the step-child', usually torn between accepting difficult terms for visitation, alienation from a distant biological parent and power struggles when the step-parent wasn't accepting them... on any terms.
Some carried the experience of being a step-child like a chip on their shoulder.

One guy who had an older sister and a younger brother was raised with both biological parents... no divorce. However, they were the meanest parents I knew of. He couldn't wait to get a job and move away from home. He became a successful musician, married and had 2 kids. While he was on the road (earning a living and sending money home) his wife has an affair that led to divorce. The experience literally caused a career change so he didn't repeat the same mistake.
Dysfunctional would be a good description of his home life growing up and he brought that into his marriage as well.

Looking back, those kids had it easy as some of my school mates were adopted. Some not knowing who their biological parents were. To grow up knowing you weren't accepted at birth is a hard road to travel. While things have changed with orphanages opening records and DNA testing, that doesn't change the past.

On a brighter note, I do recall one couple adopting a baby girl from Asia. The adoption requirements were strict. They had the funds and knowledge to do it right where their daughter although 'different' from her classmates was a shining star and accepted by everyone she came in contact with.







Traumatic chip on the shoulder...