Rusty Meets Kissy's Great Grandmother

Back in the ole western cowboy daze, around the 1890s, Rusty Nuds went to a casino & saloon place called Fad Asez. It was there that he saw a beautiful lady dressed in violet and red undies with polka dots and pink fluffy slippers. Accompanied by the saloon Pee-anist, she was singing.

She was singing that ole western song "Heart of Glass' by Blondie. She sang, "Once I had a love and it was a gas. Soon turned out to be a pain in the azzz."

When the music took a break, Rusty done went up to the piano man and asked, "Hey Piano man, wats the lady's name?"

The piano man answered, "Don't be stuck up, ask her yourself. Sheesh! Next thing ya know, you'll be wanting me to go bring you the vi*gra pills too."

"And by the way, I am the Pee-anist, not the piano man."

Rusty asked, "What the forks the difference?"

The piano man explained, "Well, what with all the beer I swig down, I gotta take a break every few minutes to pee. So ya see, since I pee a lot, customers call me a Pee-anist."

Upon completing those words, the piano man rushed away quickly to the outhouse.

Rusty then set his eyes on the lovely violet-dressed lady leaning against the piano and-a said, "Hey there pretty lady. You're very pretty. Yess, you are. You turn me on! Woo hoo! Now, eh allows me to intra-duce myself. I am Rusty Nuds. Whatz your name, if I may have the pleasure of knowing?"
The lady answered, "Rusty what? Well, you sure look and smell like you need a darn bath with soap, ajax, bleach, your clothes and all of you."

Rusty baffled, replied, "Ma-am, I only done asked what your name is, not fer yoos ta critisize me and all."

Lady in violet and red undies with polka dots replied, "Alright, alright! I heard you the third time. You don't have to get your shorts all wedged up in the back. My name is Kissy."

Rusty: "Kissy? What da hail kinda name is that for a woman?"

Lady in violet and red undies with polka dots turned her behind to Rusty and said, "It's Kissy, Kissy MyGrits! Now buy me a mug of beer!"
Rusty replied, "Why couldn't your name be Red? Ya know, to match your red underwear with polka dots? That way if we fool around tonight and split up later, like most one night stands do, you could be my Ex, my Ex-Red. I kinda like the sound of that name. Cute, huh?"

Rusty buys lots of beer that night for he and Kissy. They come to know each other very well that night. So much so, that they had a very exclusive romantic relationship for 24 hours.

Ah - but then came the heartbreak. Yes, Kissy MyGrits started cheating on ole Rusty with, of all people, the Pee-anist.

That thar Pee-anist started wearing adult diapers to control his frequent outhouse visits, although when the diapers got full, they would swish around, make noise and smell bad. However, them diapers helped the Pee-anist to have less visits to the outhouse, which gave him more time to B-S, err I mean to talk to Kissy MyGrits and win her over.

Rusty was heartbroken, but with a steady heavy drinking of beer, he overcame the heartbreak and moved onto the next week where he would meet another pretty lady, this one by the name of Chloe Cobwebs.

And so it would come that several years later, Kissy MyGrits would have a great granddaughter named after her. She would be known as Kissy Myas.

This has been the ole western daze story of when Rusty Nuds met Kissy Myas' great grandmother, Kissy MyGrits.



PS: Story is fictional. Or is it?