Some things I’ve learnt along the way…(pt. 3)Over the last 20-30 years or so, I’ve had some ‘eye-opening/mind-changing’ revelations about myself and my life. Some of those revelations are about my relationship with myself, with my immediate family, with ‘ex’ friends and with an ‘ex’ husband – and are very personal. Others were revealed to me through observations, mistakes and other challenges that I experienced along the way.
As a young adult, I was accused by one of my roommates (we were ‘student’ teachers at the time), of being very ‘absent-minded’. I can't recall exactly why that was an issue for her, but she was quite peeved. As the years passed, the accusation would come to my memory off and on, but it wasn’t really ‘analysed’ until many years later when I felt the need for some in-depth introspection (after my divorce). I realized along the way, that there were several, if not many things that I would do, unconsciously, that would either irk or surprise others. Some of these were/are: snoring, frowning, teeth-grinding, judging, controlling, etc. I’m certain that many of these were involuntary, and weren’t meant to offend/discomfit anyone, but that they did.
*The things that you do unconsciously, can get you into trouble. So, be mindful.
The older one gets, the less significant ‘romantic love’ appears as a major desire/driving force when dating, and the more attractive financial security gets, as one aspires towards being in a fulfilling relationship. Dating expectations may vary, but being extra careful about things like one’s health and financial resources for the future seem even more paramount than a ‘love match’, for most men in their late fifties (and some women), onward. As a romantic, I lament this change, but as a pragmatic, I understand it’s logic. When I was young, I felt invincible and everything was possible. As I got older, I became more sensible, thus, more careful.
*In later life, ‘love’ takes a back seat to ‘practicality’. C’est la vie.