The Butt Dial - part 1Some years ago, a pretty lady I had a one-night stand with suddenly called me from her cell phone to mine.
I answered, "Hello? Padded? Is it you? Hello?"
She said nothing in return. All I heard was a "swishing, swishing" sound as if she was walking.
I hung up the phone, waited two minutes and called back. She answered the phone, "Hello Padded Cheeks! 'Member me? You called just me two minutes ago. What did you want to tell me?"
Padded Cheeks: "Who's this? Johnny? L*keon? L*h Key? Charlie Hoarse?"
Rob: "No, it's me, Rob! You know, we had a one night stand a week ago? You 'member? Heck, I haven't seen you, since the last time I seen you."
Padded Cheeks: "Rob? Rob who? You can't expect a woman like me to remember all the guys I've had a one-night stand with. Besides, my name is Paddy, not Padded. Sheesh! Wherever did you get the idea for that nickname?"
Rob: "It's me! You 'member? You got upset with me because after about a minute and a half of romantic action, I got tired and couldn't go no more. I - I, eh well, I kind of fell asleep after that. You 'member? Yeah, you 'member?"
Paddy thinks for a moment, then replies, "Oh yeah! That was very upsetting for me. There I was all hot and ready, and then you konked out. What the heck was that all about? Come on now, be reasonable. Alright! Okay, I remember you now - maybe. But I didn't call you a moment ago. It must've been a Butt Call."
Rob: "A Butt Call?"
Paddy: "Yeah, a Butt Call is when my cell phone is in my back pocket and my butt accidently touches one of the speed dials and calls someone. So, I didn't dial you, my butt did."
Rob: "Well okay, then can I talk to your butt? Maybe it has something important it wants to tell me. You never know."
Paddy: "What the - - -? Are you crazy, or am I crazy for paying attention to you?"
"Very well then, I'll leave the phone call on and put the phone in back pocket as I'm walking around right now, and you can talk to my azzz."
(Story concludes with part 2, later today)