The Butt Dial - part 1

Some years ago, a pretty lady I had a one-night stand with suddenly called me from her cell phone to mine.

I answered, "Hello? Padded? Is it you? Hello?"
She said nothing in return. All I heard was a "swishing, swishing" sound as if she was walking.

I hung up the phone, waited two minutes and called back. She answered the phone, "Hello Padded Cheeks! 'Member me? You called just me two minutes ago. What did you want to tell me?"

Padded Cheeks: "Who's this? Johnny? L*keon? L*h Key? Charlie Hoarse?"

Rob: "No, it's me, Rob! You know, we had a one night stand a week ago? You 'member? Heck, I haven't seen you, since the last time I seen you."

Padded Cheeks: "Rob? Rob who? You can't expect a woman like me to remember all the guys I've had a one-night stand with. Besides, my name is Paddy, not Padded. Sheesh! Wherever did you get the idea for that nickname?"

Rob: "It's me! You 'member? You got upset with me because after about a minute and a half of romantic action, I got tired and couldn't go no more. I - I, eh well, I kind of fell asleep after that. You 'member? Yeah, you 'member?"

Paddy thinks for a moment, then replies, "Oh yeah! That was very upsetting for me. There I was all hot and ready, and then you konked out. What the heck was that all about? Come on now, be reasonable. Alright! Okay, I remember you now - maybe. But I didn't call you a moment ago. It must've been a Butt Call."

Rob: "A Butt Call?"

Paddy: "Yeah, a Butt Call is when my cell phone is in my back pocket and my butt accidently touches one of the speed dials and calls someone. So, I didn't dial you, my butt did."

Rob: "Well okay, then can I talk to your butt? Maybe it has something important it wants to tell me. You never know."

Paddy: "What the - - -? Are you crazy, or am I crazy for paying attention to you?"

"Very well then, I'll leave the phone call on and put the phone in back pocket as I'm walking around right now, and you can talk to my azzz."
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(Story concludes with part 2, later today)
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Comments (7)

A song to accompany part 1 of this story:

"Radar Love" by White Lion

LYRICS:
I've been driving all night, my hands wet on the wheel
There's a voice in my head that drives my heel
And my baby calls, says she needs me here
And it's a half past four and I'm shifting gears

When she gets lonely, and the longing gets too much
She sends a cable coming in from above
We don't need to talk at all
We've got a thing that's called Radar Love
We've got a wave in the air
Radar Love

Radio's playing some forgotten song
Brenda Lee's "Coming On Strong"
The road has got me hypnotized
And I'm spinning into a new sunrise

When I get lonely and I'm sure I've had enough
She sends her comfort coming in from above
We don't need a letter at all

We've got a thing that's called Radar Love
We've got a line in the air
Radar Love

(instrumental)

No more speed, I'm almost there
Gotta keep cool now, I gotta take care
Last car to pass, here I go
And the line of cars goes down real slow

And the radio playing some forgotten song
Oh, Brenda Lee's "Coming on Strong"
And the newsman sang his same song
Oh, one more Radar Lover gone

When I get lonely and I'm sure I've had enough
She sends her comfort coming in from above
We don't need a letter at all

We've got a thing that's called Radar Love
We've got a line in the sky
We've got a thing that's called Radar Love
We've got a thing that's called
Radar Love
Hi Exred,

Thanks for reading and the comment. Glad you liked part 1 of this story. Part 2 is coming up in a few minutes. wine
Falling asleep 1 1/2 minutes in????? That is outright abuse Robert. laugh
Ha-ha-ha...rolling on the floor laughing
Johnny,

one and one half minutes is a long time to stay in action! SHEESH! doh

I'm not a robot, you know. But this lady, Padded Cheeks, her appetite for romantic action was just tooooo much for me. Or something like that. confused

beer
Hello Grapewine,

Good to see you here!

Thanks for the laughing emoji. cool. cool
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robrt787

Somewhere, California, USA

I am friendly and I do my best to be understanding. I work hard and thoughtfully to hopefully always make life happier and better for myself and those I may love and care about. [read more]

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created Jun 29
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